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should you be a birth partner for somebody else during your first pregnancy?

(4 Posts)
estelinha Wed 07-Jan-09 15:58:11

My best friend is due to give birth in April and I will be around 22 weeks pregnant myself with my first baby around then. She'd asked me to be her birth partner before I found out I was pregnant. Do you think I can realistically expect to do this now? Will I have the stamina at that point in my pregnancy? Or could it possibly traumatise me given that I have never experienced labour and will be due to shortly afterwards? Or is it the ultimate ante-natal class?!

I desperately want to support her, but am wondering if I could be more of a hindrance (esp to MW and hospital staff). She asked me bc her and her partner are having a really bad time atm, but that may also change and cause complications iyswim. Advice appreciated.

stillstanding Wed 07-Jan-09 16:03:46

I think that you should be absolutely fine physically to do it but the question is whether you want to and whether you are of a nervy disposition?

If she is having problems with her partner (which might be resolved by April?) and has no one else I think it would be a wonderful thing for you to support your best friend in this way.

Personally I would have loved to have attended other people's births before I gave birth as it would have prepare me better but I wonder if I would have been much help tbh and there is a danger that you may be more focused on the fact that you will be goign through the same process in the not too distant future and not so much on what she needs.

If you think you can handle it though and are not too scared of labour I would be tempted to go for it.

Lulumama Wed 07-Jan-09 16:08:45

at 5 months pregnant you should technically be blooming and glowing and feeling great

i think that any birth partner, whether pregnant or not , needs to ask themselves if they feel able to cope .

and how much support you can offer, having not given birth yourself?

you might be scared out of your wits, or find it is a really positive experience

you need to be sure that you can give her unequivocal support and if you think you might end up bottlign it, she is best to know now and arrange another birth partner

FWIW, i don't think i fully understood fully labour/delivery until i had 2 children myself and had read a lot about it

it also depends on how you view labour and birth and if that fits with her idea, no good you thinking she is crazy for wanting, say, a home water birth or not to use pain relief if you are an epidural in hospital at all costs kinda gal !

CoteDAzur Wed 07-Jan-09 16:10:17

It is the ultimate ante-natal class, but it could also traumatise you. Not that there is anything wrong with a reality check - it's not a bad thing to know before your birth how hard, long, and painful the whole thing is.

Sorry, I'm not helping, am I.

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