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7 weeks pg, terrible first visit to doctor ...

(45 Posts)
MOC Tue 04-Nov-08 09:30:33

Hi all,

I'm seven weeks pregnant with my first child and went to see my doctor yesterday for the booking in appointment. Well, she couldn't have made me feel less important if she'd tried.

She informed me that I would be having the nuchal test and that I would be having my baby in Farnborough Hospital - no choice, no discussion, just a statement. I know for a fact that you have a choice on whether to have the tests but when I mentioned this she raised her eyebrows and said that as i will be 36 when i have the baby, I would "defintely" be in the high risk category and the test should be a given. She wasn't at all keen on me having the baby anywhere else, and said that it was "luck of the draw" if your hospital has a good or bad day when you go in to have the baby. I know that this is true but talk about unsympathetic!

I understand that I was just another patient to her, but is it unreasonable to expect a little more sensitivity?

The whole appointment was absolutely not what I expected and after I left the surgery I walked home crying in the rain - seems quite funny now, but not at the time!

Sorry for the rant but we deserve much better than this!!! Early pregnancy can be stressful enough with that kind of attitude. I hope that everyone else's experiences are more positive.

MOC x

nickytwotimes Tue 04-Nov-08 09:31:56

Oh, my gp was a cock when I went in to say I was pg. Luckily my mw was lovely and everything was as it should be, but it is very disheartening.

nickytwotimes Tue 04-Nov-08 09:32:23

Oh, and congrats!

mishymoo Tue 04-Nov-08 09:34:35

Congratulations!

My GP was also a complete wanker when I went for my first appointment. I was worried because I had a miscarriage before and all he could say was .."well, 1 in 10 woman do!"

I also came out crying but my midwife was wonderful!

Nbg Tue 04-Nov-08 09:36:27

Don't worry too much. I'm sure your MW will be much better and can offer better advice than your GP did!

As for tests, where you have your baby and anything for that matter, that is entirely your decision.

With my third baby I refused all tests and had a HB. So it can be done!

Do you know when you see your MW?

SazzlesA Tue 04-Nov-08 09:36:46

Message withdrawn

Wags Tue 04-Nov-08 09:42:38

I had my DC in Farnborough so maybe we both have the same numpty doctor as well grin. Actually just read your post again, maybe not my Dr is male! I have always found Dr's not that great with anything pregnancy related, before or afterwards, but the midwives at my practice were lovely. Hopefully you will see the midwife before you go for the nuchal so you can talk things over with her. I am guessing you are going to Kings for the nuchal? I was 41 and 43 when I had my DC, so I did have a nuchal with both. Make a list of things to discuss when you see the midwife. Tests are such a emotive subject. I chose to have the tests and with the information from them I chose to have further tests. I was quite high risk. Its a personal choice though and you shouldn't be forced to do anything you don't want to. Hopefully with more information from midwife you might start to feel better about it. Congratulations as well by the way, how exciting for you I remember that feeling well grin

mum2bean Tue 04-Nov-08 09:54:59

congrats!!!!
my gp was a total wankstain to me as well.
had a kidney infection/thrush and needed antibiotics. i asked him if they could harm my baby (iwas 23 weeks gone) and he said
"they could seriously harm the beby, but your only 23 weeks gone so your not that attatched!"
dp almost hit him, i was too gobsmacked to say ANYTHING, and then, just to really give my dp a real reason, he then says
"your young, you can have more!"

they are awful, i dont think they are human tbh.
but congrats and good luck!!!!

janinlondon Tue 04-Nov-08 09:57:03

MOC my doctor tried this on too, but I was one of those problem patients. I just said no, I will not be going to X hospital, I am going to Y hospital, please give me the forms. And no, I won't be having the nuchal scan thank you. I have other plans. He started to argue but realized there was no point in arguing with a pregnant woman with serious hormones who was on a mission. I got everything I wanted. Just stand up and be a pain. Its your baby, your pregnancy, your life. (Oh and congratulations!!)

zazen Tue 04-Nov-08 10:13:42

Jaypers, maybe MN should do a survey about early pregnancy and GPs?

I was told what I would do by my GP after our long awaited BFP. I was told I would go Private (and spend 5K) and book the Master of my hospital, and would have X and Y tests (I was 35).

Needless to say I was very let down and annoyed by the GP appointment, especially as I had to pay 70 quid to see the dr in the first place (and she didn't even do an exam, or get me to pee on a stick, to confirm the pg), and it was supposed to be free (mother and child scheme in Ireland).

I went with the midwife led clinic instead and had a lovely pregnancy (with no tests) but had a very very horrific birth experience, as the shit hit the fan and the midwives were hand tied and could do nothing. I was just dumped into the hospital (from a hospital midwife homebirth) and had to make my own way there with whatever doctor was on call. Was left to my own devices in a pre labour ward in labour for three days and nights and eventually had a crash section by a newly trained incompetent and panicky Registrar and SHO.

Actually the irony is that I should have gone private (and spent the 5K) as the care was so bad in the hospital the only dr there who could have done any kind of surgery competently was the Master. I lost 30K in earnings as a result of the botch crash cesarean job I had. Sorry for the doom and gloom story, but just to let you know what happened to me who ignored my cold hearted GP!

So, what I want to day is: Congratulations on your pregnancy! But please don't discard everything your GP says to you, as she does know the system. Her personality and cynicism come with her - it's not personal. Nothing you can do about that aspect of her.


I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy and a fabulous birth. It's such a special time in your life: enjoy it!

MOC Tue 04-Nov-08 10:54:54

Well its good to know that I'm not alone! Thanks for all of your posts.

DP was sooo cross last night and has already emailed me this morning to say that he's found two other alternative hospitals in Woolwich and Dartford (can't remember the names). I guess we shouldn't dismiss the Farnborough suggestion either, but how do you decide where to give birth? Are there rating systems and are they any use?

I don't know when I will see the MW yet, and the nuchal scan will be in Kings if we decide to have it.

Thanks again!

melmamof3 Tue 04-Nov-08 11:10:09

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

My doctor was lovely with this pregnancy (third one) but my midwife is a complete monster. I was taking Metphormin when I fell pregnant (was told I could never conceive naturally and had chlomid to get last 2 ds). The first words she said to me was "So are you intending on keeping this baby" shock. I've NEVER had an abortion, I'm happily married and she seemed to think that as this pregnancy was an accident, I wouldnt want to continue. Bllody old bat.

Hope your midwife is more accepting and kinder to you and that your pregnncy progresses well x

Wags Tue 04-Nov-08 11:29:18

I didn't actually think you got a choice of hospital unless you lived borderline near 2 hospitals that were in your area. I might be wrong though. At the moment it sounds like the problem you have is with the GP. I would wait until you have seen midwife and discussed all your options before you start worrying. I must live in the same area as you and I didn't have a choice, unless I went privately. I did acutally go privately as I had a c-section for medical reasons and my private health insurance paid for it. I chose to have it done at Farnborough which was where my obstetrician worked from. Some hospitals that do private work don't have as many emergency treatments available should a problem arise.

Tapster Tue 04-Nov-08 11:34:38

Change GP is my advice - takes 2mins to fill in a form, try and ask other mums good GPs for children. I changed GP after my DD was born as I was very umimpressed by the shared GP/midwife I got. New GP fantastic been very supportive during this pregnancy and actually listens to me.

You don't have to put up with your GP you have a choice, you don't have to give a reason why you are leaving.

laweaselmys Tue 04-Nov-08 11:39:17

There should be a little booklet that tells you your options for hospitals and I think in most places you get at least the option of two. I had two choices even though one of them was not in my county (that's the one I went for anyway - because it's fabulous!)

It's was called 'your choice' or something like that and tells you which hospitals in your area do different things. Having said that I think I found it in the lobby of my GP (who was also crap)...

abbymeg Tue 04-Nov-08 11:41:13

Congratulations! smile

Some GPs are totally clueless. I had a general anesthetic and an operation, with plenty of drugs afterwards and then found out I was pg. The GP treated me like a MC waiting to happen. She was entirely negative and didn't work out my dates or anything, she didn't even tell me about looking ater myself. When I cried she told me to see MW early for advice. The MW was fuming! She sent me to a consultant who scanned me. All was fine. I found out myself about the different drugs, and none should have been harmful at the stage in pg I was at.

I'm 33 weeks now and so far so good.

I won't go back to that Dr again. It makes me so angry that she didn't admit her obvious ignorance about my experience, scaring me silly instead.

My MW is great, and if it wasn't for her, I'd have changed surgeries.

frazzledoldbag34 Tue 04-Nov-08 11:50:36

My GP has been pretty disinterested when I've turned up about 6-7 wks pg.
Attitude was 'you're a bit early, you might have a miscarriage you know. Lots of women do'.
Bit of a shame really when you're really excited and want to be told things and get a date organised for scans etc.
To some GP's (obviously not all) it's just boring I guess. sad

ThePregnantHedgeWitch Tue 04-Nov-08 11:50:46

Message withdrawn

MOC Tue 04-Nov-08 13:14:44

Thanks - might look into changing doctors, look forward to seeing the MW now, they seem much better ..

2Helenback Tue 04-Nov-08 13:32:44

Yep, change docs.

My first experience was: me, "I'm pg" Dr Twatbucket', "And is that a good thing?". He didn't look at me for the whole appointment, then as I left said, "Oh, yes, congratulations." He basically told me to leave my number for the midwife and sod off.

I cahnged surgery, and went in with current bump much later only to find that they want you to see Dr and Mw before you book! Cosequently first scan was 2 weeks late.

My new GP was ace about tests, talked me through the age related risks (38!) and said don't bother to have triple tests etc unless you will go through with amnio and face miscarriage reisk etc. He was fab and really nice about it. (I refused tests with dd)

Just because you get 3 A grades at A level and a place at med school doesn't make you a decent person capable of dealing with people. Change Dr or surgey and CONGRATULATIONS!!!

robinia Tue 04-Nov-08 13:47:27

Another Farnborough resident here. Unfortunately for us there is not much choice re. hospitals ..... it's consultant led care or homebirth, no midwife led units. And the hospital is one that overly favours medicalised, interventionist techniques. Did the doctor mention homebirth at all .... I bet not but they are supposed to give you the choice. I don't know exactly where you are MOC but Woolwich and Dartford would seem a long way off to me when I was in labour. If you want more info on what to expect the local NCT has reps on the MSLC (maternity services liaison committee) and can help you get what you want to a certain degree.

Agree the GP was not the most helpful. You don't have to have the scan if you don't want it. But she was right about the hospital ... they have good and bad days, good and bad midwives and good and bad house doctors/ registrars. If you want your birth to have the best possible chance of going the way you want it you need to be prepared, informed and assertive.

Congratulations

elliott Tue 04-Nov-08 13:49:54

Why go and see the GP? Just make an appointment to book in with the midwife - GP doesn't need to be involved at all.

Wags Tue 04-Nov-08 13:56:55

I did wonder Robinia, as I had to have c-sections for both of mine due to medical problems I realised that I personally had no choice. MOC I would also guess that Queen Mary's at Sidcup (do they still have a maternity wing?) or even Lewisham would be nearer than Dartford & Woolwich? The other thing to check before you think of changing Drs is to see what they offer at your surgery in the way of Health Visitors etc. My HV are at Princess Plain, but my surgery has 2 days where the HV visits the surgery. It was brilliant as it gave me extra days I could go and see someone with the baby and also at the surgery you could see a HV in a private room, which isn't always possible at Princess Plain. It was worth me staying put with my Dr just for that. Also Farnborough (for me) had excellent breastfeeding support. The BF councillers there were just lovely and helped me so, so much. Also the drop in clinic at Beckenham was fab. In the early days I was a weekly visitor there for BF problems. These are all things to consider as well as the birth. If you need any help or contact numbers for anything feel free to ask.

goldenpig Tue 04-Nov-08 14:52:40

Medical professionals are not always that nice, sadly.

Re the tests - you very do have a choice - I had my first child at 42, and said 'no thanks' to the nuchal folds test, and again this time, and I am 44 - you don't have to give a reason, just say yes or no.

Good luck and as long as you are prepared for a mix of good/bad and indifferent docs and midwives, you will be forearmed.

CookieMonster2 Tue 04-Nov-08 15:51:17

I still remember going to the doctors when pregnant the first time and being asked in a really patronising way 'Is this a good thing or a bad thing?'. Second time round I went in trying to look as happy as I could be about the fact but the doctor still queried if I was OK with it. By then I had realised that they don't do anything other than refer you to the midwife, so third time I just made an appointment with the midwife without seeing a doctor first.

Given how many not very intelligent people there are in the world I am amazed the doctor/midwife never did a test to confirm I was actually pregnant.

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