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having a 2nd baby still cant get my head around it, is there something wrong with me??

(4 Posts)
mad4mybaby Fri 31-Oct-08 14:20:53

Had ds1 2 yrs ago and got a bit down during pg and got bad PND afterwards but mainly i think down to him being v ill plus i had no friends/family near me. I also had a quick birth and went into shock afterward and i panicked.

Anyway am 36 weeks and it STILL hasnt sunk in. I cant get my head around doing this all again, cant believe im going to have 2 small children when i struggle with 1. This time round the pg has gone quick because been pre occupied with ds1. Im worried how i will be afterwards. Why cant i accept im doing it again?? Ive kitted out his room, sorted his stuff, clothes etc and we are physically prepared for ds2 i just cant get my head around it.

We now live nearer to friends and family and i have the plus side that i will HAVE to get out and about quickly coz of ds1 esp as he at preschool.

Im not worried about loving this baby coz i do already.

Has anyone else felt like this? What can i do about it?

luckylady74 Fri 31-Oct-08 14:28:10

None of my 3 seemed 'real' before I had them - just my bump really and I had lots of scans with the twins.I was concentrating on life outside my bump I think. I don't think it's a problem really.
I also know that a lot of my friends found their love grew gradually with their new babies - they had an instant urge to protect and care, but the passionate love took longer - all normal I think.
Is your midwife aware of your last pnd and have you talked about what you'll do if symptoms happen again? Good to hear you have a support network this time - perhaps no harm in telling them you're worried and would appreciate company and so on when you have your baby.
So yes I never felt connected to my babies or believed it was happening before they were coming out of me - I never felt many kicks either as my placentas lay on the outside of my bump so I was cushioned- so I think that added to the unrealness!
Good luck - you have another support network in mumsnet too.

mad4mybaby Fri 31-Oct-08 16:14:56

thanks luckylady, i certainly feel EVERY single kick with this one! He's a little pest, gets hiccups every day and responds all the time to his big brothers hugs and pats.

There are aware of it and so is my gp. Im also very aware this time round but i worry im getting a tad obsessed with making sure i DONT get pnd again IUSWIM?

luckylady74 Fri 31-Oct-08 16:40:13

My friend talked a lot about avoiding pnd when she had her 2nd - I think it's natural to be concerned and it's very hard when you know that, to an extent, it happening is out of your control - all you can do is prepare for if it does happen - as you have- and hope like hell it doesn't. We have all these expectations of what having our babies will be like and then it goes wrong.
I do think that your change in circumstances will contribute greatly to you hopefully avoiding it this time.
Good luck smile

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