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my story continued

(10 Posts)
RiaRio Sun 19-Oct-08 11:59:05

Hello all i thought itn wasonly fair i follow my story up and plus if i let it out it may help me slightly.As i said i had slight bleeding frm 8 weeks so as you can imagine alarm bells started to ring!it was very brown and i had no red blood but still panicked and went straight to A AND E.They told me not to worry and it was common and to come back in 2 days for an early scan.
so this is what i did and as i lay there having my scan it fell very quiet and the nurse said she couldnt see anything so she done an internal scan which is horrible and so sad or me t say but she discvered i had an ectopic pregnancy and i was further n than expected 11 weeks!It has broke my heart as they have had to remove one of my tubes as it could not be saved so i am now dealingwith losing my baby and decresed fertility chances and the pain of surgery.
I really could do with speaking to peple in the same boat as im very much struggling to come to terms with it all.

Sorry to put a downer n this room but i would advise anyone who has slight bleeding wahtever to get it checked asap.

WorzselMummage Sun 19-Oct-08 12:08:34

i am really sorry for your loss Ria.

I you pop in to the miscarriage forum on here there wil be women who have been thought the same thing, i have had losses but never ectopic but i know there are lots on the Mc forum that have.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve.

nuclear Sun 19-Oct-08 12:10:18

RiaRio sad
so sorry to hear this . I personally have had no experience of what you are going through but i could not just read your post and not reply.

Wishing you all the best.

x

SpangleMaker Sun 19-Oct-08 12:20:36

RiaRio sad so sorry to hear your story.

I don't have experience of ectopic pg but I just wanted to wish you well.

Thank you for posting the advice to get bleeding checked out, very wise, and as well for you you listened to your instincts. I had bleeding 6-9 weeks, rang midwives at the hospital and they didn't want to know - didn't even bother to ask if I had any pain etc. In the end I insisted on a scan, fortunately everything was ok, but it may not have been.

I know there are others on here who have been through the same as you and who I am sure will help you get through this difficult time.

Take care x

lauraloola Sun 19-Oct-08 18:15:04

I am so sorry to hear of your loss RiaRio.

I know of friends who have only one tube and have gone on to have healthy babies x

memoo Sun 19-Oct-08 19:20:20

Hi Ria,

I had an ectopic 3 years ago and I really know what you are going through. It was the worst time of my life. My ectopic ruptured and I had to have emergency surgery which resulted in me losing my left tube.

Not only do you have to go through the pain of losing a baby you also have to deal with having lost a tube.

I'm not sure what you doctor told you but my GP said that fertility is only slightly reduced even after losing a tube so there is no reason that you shouldn't be able to conceive again in the future.

My heart really does go out to you. I was a mess for a long time afterwards. There were several times when I saw babies or heavily pregnant women and I ended up in tears.

I use to have nightmares about my little lost baby, I would wake up in the night convinved that I had heard it crying and that it was somehow in the house.

And I would lie in bed going over every tiny detail of what had happened, over and over again. I have since been told that this is a symptom of PTSD

I was also so terrified of going through another ectopic and dying that I spent the last couple of years doing everything i could to not get pregnant, i just couldn't go through that again.

I have slowly come to terms with what happend. But there is rarely a day that goes by without me thinking about it.

DP and I are now TTC again and I really hoping that I am pregnant but at the same time I am terrifed.

Please keep posting, talking things through really does help

MrsHappy Sun 19-Oct-08 21:29:32

Hi Riario

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. I have had 2 ectopics this year and have also lost a tube and it is hard I know.

Being diagnosed with and treated for an ectopic is a shocking experience. It is a lot to process and you must take your time and take care or yourself.

What Meemoo has said about fertility only being very slightly removed is correct. In fact, my doctor told me that I might even have a better chance of a viable pregnancy without my tube since it was obviously defective and causing ectopics.

I can recommend that you visit this site. There are a lot of other women there who have experienced this and the mods know a huge amount about ectopics and may be able to help answer any questions you have over the next few weeks.

Take care. I hope you feel better soon.

RiaRio Mon 20-Oct-08 08:05:07

Thankyou all so much for your messages means so much to me.I'm having good and bad moments havn't been out much yet so have avoided looking at pregnant mums and babies but whenever i watch tv something makes me burst into tears even baby adverts!all i keep picturing is my partner holding the baby and it brakes my heart.My partner is very good at pretending everything is fine and he's nt the best with dealing with emotions so i don't feel abke to grief infront of him and i really dont want this to come between us!

I have been told it slightly afects fertility but then i have read a letter i was sent home with which said my chances are 50% ..so confused,

My other questions are how long should i expect to keep bleeding and how much should it be as im loing so much its giving me a head ache.
Thankyou all s much for messaging me means alot to talk to people who have been here before.xxxxxx

MrsHappy Mon 20-Oct-08 09:46:39

Ria

If your DH is anything like mine he will just be incredibly relieved that you are ok, so don't worry too much about that.

Re the fertility, I often find the statistics a bit meaningless (since things vary so much from one woman to the next) but the fact is that, assuming that your remaining fallopian tube is healthy (and it probably is), it will be able to pick up an egg that is released by either ovary. One doctor told me that they think this happens up to 30% of the time anyway, even in women with two tubes. Your reproductive organs are not as spaced out as they alweays appear to be on those biological drawings; in fact, your ovaries are close together and the fallopian tubes are too, so it is possible for an egg to be collected by the tube on the other side. That is why the 50% figure sounds rather too low to me.

I really do suggest you look at that link I posted earlier. The EPT website has lots of information on this sort of thing, a helpline you can call and the mods on the forum know a lot about ectopics. They are there to help with the sort of questions that you have.

As for the bleeding, mine lasted in total for about 7 days (the first two were just spotting, then 5 days of fairly heavy bleeding as the uterine lining shed). It was not much heavier than a normal period although you were farther along so I would imagine there might be a bit more to come out. If it is making you feel tired, you could try taking something like Floradix which is rich in iron to give you a boost. If it is constantly soaking a pad in less than an hour then I would be inclined to call the hospital and seek some reassurance but otherwise I would just wait and see, and rest up.

You are bound to feel sad or angry or both (and confused) at the moment. You have a lot to deal with and on top of that your hormones will be all over the place. They will settle down though and you will start to feel a bit better in time. You may also need to grieve for the baby you lost. I found that there's no time limit on grief and it takes as long as it takes for you to feel better. But honestly it does get better.

Take care

pepperpots Wed 22-Oct-08 12:31:37

Ria,

I don't have much time at the moment, please feel free to do a search on my name this time last year. I was in exactly the same boat as you are sad. Any questions that you have or any advice, please feel free to CAT me smile

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