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Dh doesn't want to know sex of baby, I do, should I find out? did anyone find out and keep it a secret?

(11 Posts)
Gemzooks Thu 16-Oct-08 09:28:05

With DS we didn't find out but both suspected because kept seeing 'the phantom willy' during scans.

Now 17 weeks pg with number 2.

I don't see any reason not to find out, and would like to know. Would kind of like a girl and if it's a boy would rather know in advance and bond with it etc, rather than secretly wish it was a girl and then have a boy. Not meaning to sound harsh as of course I would love another little boy, but would just rather prepare for it, since the technology exists.

DH suggests I find out but don't tell him or family. has anyone done this and did you manage to keep schtum?

laidbackinengland Thu 16-Oct-08 09:34:43

With DS3 , my DH didn't want to know the gender of the baby but I did. He left at the appropriate point in the scan, and I spent the next 22 weeks, using 'he or she', squirrelling away baby clothes and being generally vague !! It is possible to do, but I guess it depends on , how good you are at keeping secrets and what impact it would have on your DH if you (or someone else) accidently let it slip. I only told one trusted friend and my mum.

Luckily with my current pregnancy, DH wanted to know and we are expecting DD1 in January smile

Good luck !!

mppaw Thu 16-Oct-08 09:49:05

I am 26 weeks pg with DC2 and we did not find out the sex.
With DD1, my birth plan had 1 line on it and that was for DP to tell me the sex, not a doctor or midwife.
So pleased we never found out with DD and even more excited this time round, as know what to expect, so felt there was no need to find out the sex. wink

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Thu 16-Oct-08 10:27:48

DH didn't want to - i did. he agreed 5 mins before but baby wasn't cooperating. i wouldn't have found out and not told him - would have spoiled it for me. i was desperate for a girl, but had a boy. am so glad i didn't find out at scan - i would have been disappointed then, but when he was born i was over the moon.

Pinkjenny Thu 16-Oct-08 10:28:55

I wanted to know but dh was steadfast in his view that he didn't want to know. He changed his mind in the hospital car park on the way to the scan.

grin

emma2617 Thu 16-Oct-08 10:39:46

I am very much the same as pinkjenny!! I have my 20 wwek scan tomorrow and DP was adamant he didnt want to know so I was going to find out and just keep it to myself...but yesterday he just said "ive been thinking..." and now he wants to know!

He said it was because I had taken him looking at so many baby clothes that he wanted to buy half of them but wouldnt be able to if he didnt know the sex!

I wasn't looking forward to keeping it a secret but had sort of accepted it as I really wanted to know...but then when DP changed his mind I was sooooo happy that I realised how horrible it would have been having to keep it to my self!!

Pinkjenny Thu 16-Oct-08 11:25:31

Aw congratulations! I'll always remember ringing my mum from Morrisons car park and screaming, 'It's a PINK one', down the phone.

broodymom Thu 16-Oct-08 13:45:32

Me and dp have couldnt wait to find out with our 2 dds but at dd#2 scan dp couldnt make it so the sonographer put the sex in an envelope for us to open when we where together which was nice. Im 14 weeks pg and we cant wait to find out if we are having a hamburger or turtle !!lol grin. we also tell everyone who asks what we are having but we do keep the name till they are born a secret! I like to be organised and trying to pick up netural colours is a nightmare most stores only seem to have pink or blue or yellow which i hate on a baby blush (personal preference is white with a pink hat or cardi!) Since my baby will be born in spring i will prob buy everything in the jan sales so im happy to know if im buying pink or white!

broodymom Thu 16-Oct-08 13:49:40

I have to add that we really wanted a boy with #2 so was a little diappointed for about a second then really happy for all the pink fluff again! Dp would obviously love this one to be a boy but i am truely happy whatever sex this time,just blessed to even be able to have another little one is enough for me!grin

dan39 Thu 16-Oct-08 16:29:36

We found out but haven't told anyone. This is our first and I would never have chosen to find out except dh was keen and it got me thinking...then when we did find out it turned out we had not discussed it properly and he then wanted to tell everyone - I am still a bit cross about this as if he had said that, I would have stuck with my not finding out. He tells ple we know but are not telling; I tell them we don't know (he thinks its 'lying' to do so but that's cos he is an idiot...) With mutual friends I have told him to keep quiet and let me do the talking - or 'lying' as he calls it - after all its not 100%.

I am now 24 weeks and found out at 19 and have only told you lot on here, and as it turns out I LOVE having a secret!!

PS its a GIRL

AuntyVi Thu 16-Oct-08 20:01:28

Personally I would find it very hard to keep it secret for so long... am sure I would end up saying "she" or "he" by mistake, or showing suspiciously more enthusiasm for choosing baby names of one sex than the other! So if we have another I would rather not find out like last time, or both find out. Don't forget though that mistakes are sometimes made at the scans too! So there's always a chance it turns out to be the other sort from what you were expecting...

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