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Wondering will i ever have a baby to call my own

(15 Posts)
Noleeen Mon 13-Oct-08 11:32:11

Hi, i am new to this and have no idea what i am doing so here goes. I have just siffered my third miscarrige this year. I went off birth contrpl pill at beginning of year, fell pregnant straight away but lost it at 5wks, natural m/c - blighted ovumn. I actually fell pregnant again straight away after this with no period in between, had an early scan at 6wks 5days, saw fetal pol and heartbeat, was so excited from here on in. I went for my next scan at 12wks only to be told it measured 8wks and no longer a h/b, i was completely devastated, i had been tracking the growth of the baby every week and what it would look like only to find out it had died 4wks before, D&C was required this time. I had a period between this and fell pregnant again only to start bleeding again 5days later, natural m/c once again in the form of a chemical pregnancy. I have had blood tests done and so far only got 3 results back, bloodclotting, rubella and one for antibodies all of which have been normal, i am still waiting on another 4. I am 26 years of age and am so scared at the prospect that i will never have a baby of my own. I still think about all 3 m/c BUT it is the 2nd one that has affected me the most and although this happened in July i still get really upset about it.

MavisG Mon 13-Oct-08 13:30:26

Noleeen, I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. I'm sure someone will be along soon who has had similar experiences and can offer you better support - it might be worth copying and pasting into a new thread in 'Conception' - http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception - too.

Wish you the best of luck,
Mavis.

lecohen Mon 13-Oct-08 15:13:43

Hi Noleeen, I am sorry to hear what you have gone through, maybe you should let your body recover and have a couple of periods before trying again. When I miscarried, I was told that.

It's hard not to be philosophical when these things happen but as you are still young, I am sure things will turn round.

I know someone who had 5 miscarriages but has 2 healthy grown up children...sometimes it's natures way.

All the best and hugs to you x

Noleeen Tue 14-Oct-08 08:09:30

Hi, thanks for the words of advice, i am currently back on my bith control pill and will be for at least the next 6 months in order to allow my body time to recover in the hope that thats all it is, its just so hard when im waiting on these results nearly 3wks now. Thanks again

lecohen Tue 14-Oct-08 09:23:18

Keep strong but do allow yourself to grieve your losses. I took my miscarriage very badly but at least I can talk about it now and make sense of it... especially when I look at my dd who wouldn't have been here if not for it.

Hope things work out.

P.S... if it was me, i wouldn't want to go on the pill at this stage, is this what the doctor recommended? x

broodymom Tue 14-Oct-08 10:53:01

Noleeen, its so hard when you feel you will never get to have you own baby but i think you are doing the right thing in giving your body (& soul) a rest.

I have 2 dds aged 7 & 8 (9 next week) and we decided to try last year for #3 i fell pg right away but almost a week after i mc, then right after i fell pg again and i mc at 9 weeks,went for a scan and nothing was there i didnt actually mc untill a week after scan. Me and dp decided that 1 more try and then we would not do it again as i was so heartbroken. That was dec and i am now currently 13 weeks pg, had a second scan last week and everything looking good grin but i still worry that i may mc at anytime and hope i dont jinx myself by writing this blush but i just wanted to let you know that even people like me who had 2 successful pgs can still have problems ttc. I hope that you eventually get your long awaited baby.x

SixSpotBonfire Tue 14-Oct-08 10:57:58

Noleeen, just wanted to wish you all the best. I do think that perhaps going back on the pill is not the best idea though? If you are off the pill for a while, it gets much easier to tell when you are at your most fertile, which hopefully should make it easier to conceive when you are ready to try again? Just a thought.

Noleeen Tue 14-Oct-08 10:58:02

Thank you, it is great to hear of people who have been in a similar situation (although i am sorry you've also had to go through this0 and have gone on to have children.

solo Tue 14-Oct-08 11:06:59

Really sorry to hear of your losses.
I just wanted to say 'don't give up'. It took me 12 years before I actually fell pg and I lost that first baby(mmc), then another two years and I had my Ds ~ now 10yo. Another mc and then my Dd(21+months). All were surprises, but they happened and I never, ever thought I'd be a mum. Try to stay positive.x

Noleeen Tue 14-Oct-08 11:24:22

I am quite surprised how people think it is a bad idea for me going back on birth control, i assumed this would be the best option for me at the minute as i don't want to get pregnant for at least another 6 months in order to give myself and my body a break, my doctor actually agreed with me. I am expecting my 1st period since my last m/c and for once i am actually willing for it to arrive

broodymom Tue 14-Oct-08 11:37:18

I think its maybe because it can mess with fertility and if you are trying to track fertile days ect when you decide to ttc again it may affect the results.

Juliette108 Tue 14-Oct-08 11:40:53

Hi there
Our experences are different but I just wanted to say that you are not alone. There are many many people who feel as bleak as you do. My baby died in utero when I was 6 months pregnant and I am pregnant again now. Nothing can comfort me or convince me that this pregnancy will be ok. In fact, the successful pregnancies around me see to make my own chancs seem more remote than ever. The commecialism, excitement and very early pregnancy 'fever' scares me and saddens me as it is something that I, like you probably, feel I can never fully enjoy again. A sadness, loss of innocence and cynicism informs your experience. I thought I would'turn a corner' and find my positivity again but I don't know if that will happen. Don't expect it to; go forward is my mantra. Just keep going forward, keep trying again if you have the strength, keep as steady as you can, arm yourself with thorough medical advice, keep seeing a midwife if you can, stay in the system, keep taking the folic acid and insist that your doctor helps you. Consider changing doctors if you feel it would help. Apart from that, try and stay sane and surround yourself with people who love you, and try to forget the stupid things they say. Unfortunately, they often have a way of sticking in your head!

Noleeen Tue 14-Oct-08 12:00:22

I tried so hard not to panic with my pregnancies after the 1st, i even tried sometimes to blank it out of my head and not grow attached but with the 2nd after seeing it on the screen and the heartbeat i couldn't help but start to become attached, i even found myself over the next few weeks talking to it only to have it taken away from me. I am tryn so hard to be optimistic about my future family plans but at this stage and until i get results it is just so hard. I do realise there are many people in the same situation and no matter how much i think i am alone im not. I just hope someday it happens for me and for others who want this as much as i do.

SixSpotBonfire Tue 14-Oct-08 12:03:59

Noleeen sad. I will keep everything crossed that it happens for you.

It probably is a good idea to give yourself a break from TTC-ing. But why not use a different type of contraceptive e.g. a barrier contraceptive that won't mess up your body's rhythms so much?

Noleeen Wed 15-Oct-08 11:05:20

My doctor phoned, said all results were normal and that they are putting it down to just bad luck and that my womb just maybe hadn't repaired itself properly from each m/c

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