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Should I change my midwife?

(6 Posts)
shell06 Tue 23-Sep-08 19:35:09

I has a miscarriage in May of this year and am now pregnant again (hurrah!), when i went for booking in appt my midwife said I would get an early scan "because of my history". I got my scan date and it is at 12 weeks which is the normal time for dating scan, not what I would regard as early.
So, I now have to wait over a week (which is a lifetime). I went to see her today (at my doc's receptionists suggestion) and she said she could only request an early scan and whatever date i had got that was it. And the only way I could get an earlier scan was if I had any probs. I kept repeating that she had said I would get an early scan but no joy.
It seems like because everything seems ok theyre not interested, but it's really stressing me out. She said i could pay for a private scan but why should I pay for something she told me I'd get?
Anyway, thank you for reading all of this, my questions are - would you change your midwife if you were me (she was not very understanding today)? And what are your experiences of early scans - were you offered one etc??
Sorry again that this is so long x

SEBANDELLIOTTSMUM Tue 23-Sep-08 21:08:45

hi im 6 weeks pregnant after m/c 8 weeks ago. i had my first scan last week but i was refered cos id had no period.

i had an early scan with baby i lost cos id bled early.

but you are left to yourself after a m/c.
when i was pregnant with ds2 i had a consultant telling me a different tale every week. one week id be induced next i was to be left..

if your not happy with your mw then change theyrs no point being with someone your going to resent but i think unless your having bleeding she wont refer you and as its a week it might take a few days for an early scan to come through.
sometimes i dont think they realise how anxious you r when youve had a m/c.

if its possible it might be worth going for a private scan.

fingers crossed for you, x

thisisyesterday Tue 23-Sep-08 21:15:02

no, I wouldn't change midwife.
how far gone are you? you say you have to wait over a week? for the scan??? thast really isn't that long you know

she is right, that all she can do is request it. I went to my midwife at 8 weeks and she sent the request through for my 12 week scan.
I still didn't get it until I was over 13 weeks because they were just plain booked up.

scotlass Tue 23-Sep-08 21:15:17

shell firstly congrats on your pregnancy and second sorry you've been disappointed in not getting your early scan.

If it helps my GP told me following my 1st mc that he would request an early scan as I was completely petrified in the next pg. My appointment came through for 14wks and I received it on the day I'd been told I'd mc'd again at 11.5wks sad. My 3rd pg mc'd at 5wks so I hadn't spoken to GP/MW then. However this pg (10wks fingers crossed) I've been under the care of the early pregnancy unit and they've been fantastic. I've had 3 scans but I do think once you've had 3 they take you more seriously.

To be honest it seems they see mc as relatively normal sadly and don't seem to feel it important to early scan after one mc
unless there is bleeding/abdo pain.

I guess what I'm trying to say is try and relax over this week, I know every day will feel like a month bur there are loads of people who have a mc and go on to a successfull pg next time. The system really sucks but unfortunately that seems to be the system. Do you have an early pregnancy unit in your area, could you self refer to them?

If you feel you won't be able to have a good relationship with the MW and there is the chance to change you have to make that decision really.

Anyway sorry if I depressed you and I hope everything is good when you finally get to the scan room.

thisisyesterday Tue 23-Sep-08 21:16:29

oh and btw, I had a previous miscarriage, and an early scan due to unexplained bleeding with ds1 and wasn't offered an early scan with ds2.

try and look on the bright side. you've had no problems so far and you have a midwife who at least tried to get you an early scan, even if she wasn't successful.
give her another chance before you write her off. this isn't her fault

shell06 Thu 25-Sep-08 17:46:58

Thanks for your replies, i had known for 2 weeks what my scan date was but could only see m/w on a Tuesday so had to wait a week to see her (at docs receptionists suggestion). I was unhappy as she has said i WOULD get the early scan, and when I went to see her her attitude was pants.
There is an early PG unit but you can't self refer.
I think i got myself a bit worked up before I went to see her, however, she wasn't sympethetic or understanding & she is meant to be caring for me!!
However, I have calmed down a bit now but am still going to change mw as I don't have any confirdence in her - she may say other things are going to happen which don't. If she'd have said "it may be possible" or "I will try to get you an early scan" I might not have kicked off.
I know that i am lucky to have m/c happen only once & that stressing myself out will do me no good!
Thanks again for you replies x

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