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Should I change my midwife?

(7 Posts)
shell06 Tue 23-Sep-08 19:34:29

I has a miscarriage in May of this year and am now pregnant again (hurrah!), when i went for booking in appt my midwife said I would get an early scan "because of my history". I got my scan date and it is at 12 weeks which is the normal time for dating scan, not what I would regard as early.
So, I now have to wait over a week (which is a lifetime). I went to see her today (at my doc's receptionists suggestion) and she said she could only request an early scan and whatever date i had got that was it. And the only way I could get an earlier scan was if I had any probs. I kept repeating that she had said I would get an early scan but no joy.
It seems like because everything seems ok theyre not interested, but it's really stressing me out. She said i could pay for a private scan but why should I pay for something she told me I'd get?
Anyway, thank you for reading all of this, my questions are - would you change your midwife if you were me (she was not very understanding today)? And what are your experiences of early scans - were you offered one etc??
Sorry again that this is so long x

aquariusgirl Tue 23-Sep-08 19:41:16

our local trust will not scan for reassurance unless you have had at least two previous muscarriages usually three. Sadly just one previous misc although awful for the couple involved is not unusual

fryalot Tue 23-Sep-08 19:43:14

hi shell.

firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy! grin Of course this is going to be a stressful and worrying time for you, and your midwife should have been more reassuring and helpful.

It doesn't sound as if it is your midwife's fault that the scan date has come through so late, though and I don't really think changing your midwife will make a difference. Although if you are unhappy with her attitude towards you, that is a different matter and only you know whether you are happy to give her another chance.

I hope I can reassure you a little bit that subsequent pregnancies usually go exactly to plan and there is unlikely to be anything wrong this time, but of course you are going to worry right up until you hold your baby in your arms.

xx

rrrayray Tue 23-Sep-08 19:57:40

Congrats on the pregnancy!!!!

Firstly- Try not to Worry- i know easier said than done- but worrying isn't what you should be doing now!!

Regarding the date, i think Squonk is right, from what i know, the best they can do is tick a box requesting an early Scan. Then its a bit of a lottery, not to mention a postcode lottery!

Maybe see how you connect with your midwife next time you go? She may have been having an off day, combined with your nerves may have just got off on the wrong foot!

Good luck!!!

lulumama Tue 23-Sep-08 20:01:08

no, it is not the MWs fault. policy might be different, and if all is well, then she has no reason to refer you. so you are having a scan next week? is that right? in which case, a scan this week is a bit pointless?

i appreciate you want the reassurance, but it just might not be possible which is not your MWs fault

SugaryBits Tue 23-Sep-08 20:06:12

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I had a miscarriage in June and am pregnant again. I wasn't offered and early scan and I'm now almost 11 weeks and still haven't had a date through for my 12 week scan. I am feeling very nervous about it and just want a date so at least can count down the days, I just can't bare/bear?? not knowing.

I know a week to wait seems like a lifetime but it will come round quicker than you think. Good Luck with everything.

shell06 Thu 25-Sep-08 18:01:34

Thank you for your replies x
SugaryBits - know how you feel, hope you've got your date by now.

It was mw attitude I had a prob with as she was totally unsympathetic, although I do feel a bit better now a couple of days have passed.
I accidently posted first mesg of this thread twice and have just put a fuller update on there, however the gist of it is, I am changing as I didn't find her very caring. My partner was with me at the appt & he said he was suprised at her attitude & he is the most laid back & rational person I know!
It's not her fault I didn't get an early scan, if she requested one, but she didn't say she was requesting one she said i would get one.
Trying not to worry & hoping this next week will fly by! x

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