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I want to know the sex but not tell anyone else... but do I keep it a secret, and what do I say to people?!

(55 Posts)
shubiedoo Mon 22-Sep-08 21:07:23

This is my 3rd and definitely my last pg, and I would love to be able to say "it's a xxx!"
rather than everyone already knowing.
We already have two boys, so everyone will be asking if it's a girl!
Without lying outright, how can I keep it to myself? I need some smart replies too so everyone will stop asking...

shubiedoo Mon 22-Sep-08 21:07:42

sorry title should be HOW do I keep it a secret

fryalot Mon 22-Sep-08 21:08:57

I kept it a secret.

When people asked if I knew what I was having, I would nod enthusiastically, and then whisper to them... "it's a...

baby!!!! grin"

It shut most of them up straight away

shubiedoo Mon 22-Sep-08 21:10:40

Ha, love it!

MrsWeasley Mon 22-Sep-08 21:11:11

We found out the sex of our 4th baby but when anyone asked we just said we want a surprise.

We didn't tell anyone, not even family members.

spudballoo Mon 22-Sep-08 21:11:37

I did this with DS2. To this day only 1 person other than my DH knows that we 'knew'. I really wanted another boy, but I knew pretty much everyone would assume I would want a girl.

My DH and I never called him anything but 'the baby' even between ourselves, so we never got caught out that way.

I told people I 'thought' it was a boy and that that would suit me fine, I had a preference for a boy etc. That shut up the people who assumed we'd like one of each.

My Dad always suspected that we 'knew' but didn't say. Even now (DS2 is 19mths) he asks whether we knew but wouldn't say. We always deny it!

It's actually LOVELY having a secret, and we enjoyed it during my pregnancy and even now!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

georgimama Mon 22-Sep-08 21:13:06

It's no one's business but yours. If you really need an excuse, pretend the sonographer couldn't see properly.

RambleOn Mon 22-Sep-08 21:13:37

I wasn't going to tell anyone this time around. (am 24wks). But it's slipped out on more than one occasion.

"He'll be able to use the old moses basket"

"I hope he's not born on new years eve"

etc, etc

georgimama Mon 22-Sep-08 21:14:18

BTW the only problem with doing this, if you actually do know, is that you will end up with loads of gifts of white/beige or even worse, lemon, baby clothes.

Baby girls can wear lemon. Boys shouldn't.

LadyGlencoraPalliser Mon 22-Sep-08 21:16:17

I found out with DD2, but I point blank lied and said I had no idea. Whatever you do, don't say that you know but are not telling, you will be pestered nonstop until the baby is actually born.

shubiedoo Mon 22-Sep-08 21:16:54

I love the idea of a secret; now that my oldest is 6, it would be a lovely surprise for him.
(The second time around, we found out and told him so he'd be more accepting of his brother which was great.)
But I'm too impatient to have a surprise myself, I'm itching to go through all the baby clothes NOW and work out what to keep and what to toss!

shubiedoo Mon 22-Sep-08 21:17:54

Thanks georgi for your good wishes. I love being pregnant smile

CuppaTeaJanice Mon 22-Sep-08 21:18:50

You could refer to your bump as 'him' one day and 'her' the next and tell people you're alternating as you don't know what you're having. That way it won't be so obvious if you slip up!

shubiedoo Mon 22-Sep-08 21:19:15

Good tip Janice, thanks

RupertTheBear Mon 22-Sep-08 21:23:42

I found out for ds and dh and I told no one. Rather than saying we knew and didn't want to tell them we said we hadn't found out. Of course after he was born we had to admit we knew all along as he is in a blue babygro in his first photos. My dh also hung our blue curtains and stuck up the blue border in our magnolia painted room (where I had actually hung some old lilac curtains as a decoy) before I came home from hospital. No one would have believed we didn't know - but no one was offended that we had kept it a secret.

beanieb Mon 22-Sep-08 21:25:22

Can you say 'we know but we're keeping it as a su,rprise for everyone else' ?

bikerunski Mon 22-Sep-08 21:27:39

We either said "We do know, but we don;t want to say". Most people respected that. As our "knowledge" of whether bump was boy or girl was based only on 20 weeks scan, we sometimes said "Scan was inclonclusive".

I told my brothers and sister than they were getting a neicephew.

I reffered to baby as "he" and "she" throughout pg.

elliott Mon 22-Sep-08 21:33:03

Well it depends how good a liar you are.
I think if you really want to keep it a secret, you should tell people that you don't know. That will stop them asking and trying to get it out of you. Plus, I think it is pretty much inevitable that you will give it away either directly by a slip of the tongue, or indirectly non-verbally. I mean, my scanner managed to convey the sex non-verbally even though I had asked not to know...
But then I do know people who have successfully kept it from their husbands even! I find this quite incredible, but then I am a very open book...

frazzledoldbag34 Mon 22-Sep-08 21:47:35

OOh I did this!
With DD2 I really wanted to know and DH didn't. I had lots of scans (for bleeding all the way thro) and at 17wks DH couldn't come to hosp with me for some reason. I was told at the scan it was a girl. Grinned all day at work but by the evening I was calm enough to ask DH if he wanted to know. He said no so I didn't tell him! I didn't tell ANYONE and sometimes even sort of forgot that I knew (if that doesn't sound too mad!) by which I mean that I had conversations with people like
Them: 'You're defintely having a boy this time'
Me: 'OOh really, do you think so?' said with a straight face.

I loved knowing, it just made me feel more settled. I like to plan but DH likes surprises so the arrangement worked well for both of us grin
Am going to do it again this time. SSh don't tell anyone. Nobody else knows that I knew!

shubiedoo Mon 22-Sep-08 22:13:20

When are you due fod34?
Oh I really want to keep it a secret but don't know if I'll be able to!

dan39 Mon 22-Sep-08 22:18:24

Give it a try and you might find that you like it!! Easiest to lie and say you could not tell from the scan, people will hassle you otherwise. I am crap at secrets (I mean really really crap) but have known for nearly 2 weeks and have not told!!

AbbeyA Mon 22-Sep-08 22:26:58

DH and I knew, but we just told everyone that we didn't know.It was very easy-we said we wanted a surprise.

MrsTittleMouse Mon 22-Sep-08 22:30:12

We have a strong suspicion that some friends knew but didn't want to tell. They said that the baby was in the wrong position to be able to see the gender, which we thought was very clever, as it side-stepped the whole issue and got nosey people off their backs (assuming that we were right, and they did know really).

dan39 Tue 23-Sep-08 00:14:08

And maybe you were right, and they did know, or maybe the baby WAS in a funny position - it does happen.

At the end of the day its your baby and your choice so if you wanna share you share and if you don't you don't.

Anglepoise Tue 23-Sep-08 00:43:40

Why can't you just tell people that you're keeping it a secret?

DH and I know but haven't told anyone other than our mums. We just refer to it as he/she/it pretty much interchangeably, and if you slip up a couple of times one way then just fake slip up the other way! You will get pestered but it's quite fun - if you don't want that then just say you don't know.

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