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Freaking out - am pg with dc3 dunno if i can cope, need reassurance.

(18 Posts)
freakinout Thu 18-Sep-08 00:48:58

Hi, I have just found out I am pg with dc3 I already have 2 dds aged 3 and 1. When dc3 is born I will have 3 under 4.

I just feel really overwhelmed by the whole thing, this pg was totally unexpected, in fact dh and I had just decided that we would deffo have no more. I am 40 - will be 41 when dc is born. I live overseas, away from family so will have little support.

I am worried about having screening tests, but even if all turns out well I am feeling so sick and tired that I worry that I won't cope.


MrsBates Thu 18-Sep-08 01:04:00

I have little family support since most people in mine no longer alive and have a 4 year old, 3 year old and 6 month old. A bit older than yours but still all with different and urgent needs and demands. I was really worried about how it would be too. I am exhausted - despite the fact that I am not in bed - can never go to sleep early more fool me. But it really is fine. More than fine. Do your first two get on? Mine do, mostly and the baby is such a good natured little thing that she just adds to the laughs and fun. Things actually seem more relaxed with her around. There are screaming moments - sometimes them, sometimes me, sometimes all of us - but you will cope. Are you in the sick and tired stage of pregnancy or is it worry making you feel like that? I really struggled in the first trimester of the 3rd preg and found it very very hard - sick and tired all day. But now all so much easier than that. I really believe you will cope. I was so worried about the impact of a third - and the worry was so unfounded I would actually consider a fourth. Not right now but am not far off 40 so not too far off if we do. Did you worry about how to cope when you went from one to two? (I did and found two to three much smoother and all now really great.)

magicfarawaytree Thu 18-Sep-08 01:18:34

my three are 4,5 and 6 and I would not change a thing. Dont get me wrong it has been exhausting and it can often seem thankless but I would not be without any of them. Youngest was born when I was almost 39, we have no local support and it is difficult when I need someone to watch them. Its amazing how you manage. the most stressful part of the pregnancy was coming back high risk for downs and having an amnio. It has all been worth it tho. agree youngest can be more easy going, they just get on with things.

freakinout Thu 18-Sep-08 02:22:58

MrsBates a FOURTH! Lummy grin.

Yes I am in horrible sickness and exhausted part of pregnancy. I feel nauseated all the time and just want to sleep. My girls do get on, they are lovely, just a delight and now dd2 is 1 things are a lot easier.

You are right MrsB, I was worried about the transition from 1 to 2 but it was actually fairly smooth, dd2 was a very easy baby. Hard work of course but relatively smooth.

I suppose I feel that our life was getting easier but now it's all up in the air again.

S1ur Thu 18-Sep-08 02:31:09

It will be grand. And you'll have a larger family which will bring difficulties but all of those brilliant herding games and playing opportunities! It will be ace. Hard at first, then worth it it after a year or two.

And think of family xmas 10 years down line, lots of dcs all happy and mixing well. I think it will be Good.

<i think I want dc3>

freakinout Thu 18-Sep-08 05:58:09

Yes all true slur, thank you. I think I am also fretting about being in my late 50's and having teenage girls to worry about.

I know, I am a fool! grin Certainly nothing I can do about it now.

tegan Thu 18-Sep-08 06:15:23

I too am pg with dc 3 but my dc's are 10 and 4 so dd2 will just be in school full time when dc3 arrives. I personally would of loved to of had my dc close together like you as having such big gaps means my dc have nothing in common and constantly bicker over everything.

How the hell am i going to cope????

Jennster Thu 18-Sep-08 06:43:32

Freakinout. Me too. Will have DD3y4 months and DS1y10m when dc3 is bornin May, but was one of 3 myself as dh was. We'll cope somehow!

chutneymary Thu 18-Sep-08 06:49:40

And me! DD1 will be 3.7 and DD2 1.9 when DS rocks up in Nov.

Congratulations! It gets easier to get your head round once you stop feeling so awful. I was in a daze for the first 14 w!

freakinout Thu 18-Sep-08 07:57:46

Tegan, we can panic together. When is yours due?

Jennster mine is due in May too. I was also one of 3 and always felt that it worked well but now am not so sure!

chapstickchick Thu 18-Sep-08 08:04:38

i remember crying my heart out in the bathroom on holiday! i was pregnant with ds3 a unexpected pregnancy blush that i didnt even know about til 16 weeks blushid had no screening tests or anything and i imagined a 3rd baby coming breaking up the family dynamicssad my dh wasnt very pleased at having ds3 and it really felt a momentuous fact ds3 turned out to be the best accident i ever had hes gorgeous adored by everyone a really pleasant kid (hes 8 now)people always comment on how lovely he is smile-he didnt come without probs tho he was a poor sleeper and has a milk allergy but the minute he came he was loved.

you will be fine x

Nbg Thu 18-Sep-08 08:10:55

I think everyone on here knows what happened when I found out I was pg with dc3 cos I started a thread grin
I was so so upset but alot of that was because dc2 was only 5 months old and dd was 3.

Tbh the pregnancy was a shit for me but I hate being pg.
However the birth was so quick and easy and dc3 aka ds2 is an absolute dream.
Such a contented, happy little baby.
He is now 9 months, ds1 has just turned 2 and dd will be 5 next month.

You will be fine. I know its a massive shock and it may take some time for it to feel "normal".

MrsBates Thu 18-Sep-08 09:20:53

A friend who just had her fourth a few months ago said she was fine about it but her husband (pregnancy not planned) was worrying about the nice and easy dynamic they had developed with their three daughters and, as you said, thought it would all be muddled up and difficult. Then they had a boy and say they can't possibly imagine life without him. Since your girls get on I think you will be more than fine - and I really do sympathise with the sick and tired all the time part - it was awful and I felt I'd been chloroformed - but really felt a lot more positive as time went on. Hope your sick part wears off soon but do come back for more reassurance if you want. I love having three now.

surprisenumber3 Thu 18-Sep-08 10:20:43

Tegan - mine are 4 and 9, will be 5 and almost 10 when baby arrives. Panicking over how I'm going to start again too!

We will all be fine

kitkat9 Thu 18-Sep-08 15:05:12

freakinout - I'm in the same boat too, am now 26w with dc3 - totally unplanned, in fact I was adamant that dc2 would be my last even though dh kept going on about having 'just one more'....

I cried for the first few days after finding out, because I too kept thinking that life would jst be starting to get easier ds is 4.6, dd is 19m - so will have 3 under 5 for a while.

At my 17 week scan there was a potetial problem flagged up which terrified me and made me realise how much I did want this baby actually, and couldn't bear the thought of not having him. All was fine, thank goodness, but it really brought it home to me.

I hate being pg too, which doesn't help things, but this pregnancy seems to be going in much faster than the last two, actually am starting to panic that I am completely unorganised for this baby! I'm also overseas with nobody to help out, but my mum and mil are both coming over when baby's due to help out which will be good.

Anyway, what I really should be saying is that I am now really looking forward to meeting this child, can't believe I'm going to have 3 kids! And I know it will be tough, and tiring, and I won't have a moment to myself, but what the hell, how much harder can it really be? (naive hopeful emoticon required)...

Give yourself time to adjust, you'll come around to the idea, I promise!

slightlycrumpled Thu 18-Sep-08 16:07:50

Oh my goodness, this sounds just like me!

I have just found out this week that I am pregnant with number 3, and feel terrified!!

Mainly for silly practical reasons, but still reasons non the less.

My DH is ten years older than me and is concerned about being the ancient dad at the school gates.

He also has children from his first marriage so we become a big family! eeek!

freakinout Thu 18-Sep-08 23:26:01

Wow, so glad it's not just me. I am still freaking out at the prospect of another baby. I also don't do pregnacy very well, for dc2 I was sick and I mean SICK for the first 16 wks (thankfully it stopped after that) then loathed the final month/6wks as I was vast, and so tired.

But it's so good to hear other women in a similar situation. Rather encouragingly I was chatting to a friend yesterday who has 4 and she was talking about going again as her and dh love it so much!

kitkat9 Fri 19-Sep-08 13:16:45

i just can't identify with women who say they LOVE being pg! It so doesn't apply to me - I can't stand it, any of it! I am ot exactly an earth mother, that's for sure...

however, I do love that moment when your baby squeezes out (oh, the RELIEF!) and you meet him/her for the first's unbelieveably special. And that's why this will all be worth it.

Just keep thinking; 'This too shall pass...'


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