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I have a 3mo and want to start ttc dc2, dp not happy - Any words of encouragement?

(11 Posts)
lauraloola Tue 16-Sep-08 11:11:28

I really want a small age gap between dd and next dc. Dd is now 3mo and I really want start ttc dc2 (took 18 months for dd and after posting on here it seems it could be longer for dc2)

I also figure that if I a goal I will put my fears of sex after child birth behind me and just get on with itsmile

Who else has a small age gap between dc? How did you cope with a lo and being pregnant/having a newborn? Dp isnt keen on a small age gap so I need to persuade him!

Thanks x

nickytwotimes Tue 16-Sep-08 11:12:27

You will be extra fertile post -natl, btw, so make sure he is sure before trying!

Pannacotta Tue 16-Sep-08 11:14:33

Sorry if its not what you want to hear but I think if your DH is not keen then I would wait for a while. I had a 2.5 year age gap and it was still knackering, I wanted to wait longer, DH didnt. I think a decent gap is easier on both parents.

MimieD Tue 16-Sep-08 11:54:45

Sorry I'm with Pannacotta. Having a 2nd child is a mutual decision and if your partner is not ready yet, wait... I know plenty of people that conceived their dc2 within a few of months after trying. Most people probably say it took them longer because they simply had less sex than when they tried for no 1...

whatawally Tue 16-Sep-08 11:57:17

We had a small age gap between dd1 and dd2- only 14 months. And it worked out really well, although people did think we were mad for having another so soon.

However, I can only echo what has already been said that this has to be a mutual decision, where you both feel comfortable.


Pannacotta Tue 16-Sep-08 12:01:32

Oh and fwiw DS2 was conceived as soon as we started trying, ie first cycle so it doesnt always take longer second time round!!

MrsMattie Tue 16-Sep-08 12:25:57

I couldn't have handled a small age gap, but I know plenty of people want it and handle it fine. So, that's not a huge issue. I think the bigger issue is that your DH isn't keen. Small children can put a lot of pressure on a relationship at the best of times, so maybe you should talk this through some more with him and see if you can get him on side before you go rushing in?

lauraloola Tue 16-Sep-08 16:01:36

Thanks for all of your comments. I wouldnt do it without dp's consent. We will probably only have 2 and I would love for them to 'grow up' together. There is a small age gap between my sister and myself and we are really good friends. My brother and I fought like mad and we have a bigger age gap.

Mylittlebubble Tue 16-Sep-08 16:20:14

I am trying for my second already too Lauraloola and my LO is 5 months now. I think there are pros and cons, it is going to be bloody hard work in the begining but you will get to an age where they are into simular things quicker. I think it's hard whenever you decide to do it but if you do not have your Dh support it will be tough.

masalachameleon Tue 16-Sep-08 16:22:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

broodymom Tue 16-Sep-08 16:41:24

lauraloola i fell pg with my second dd when my first dd was 5months old and i have to admit the first few years where very hard,i feel that i didnt get to enjoy them on their own iykwim.

Looking back i feel really guilty that dd1 lost out a little because i had dd2 so soon and she definatley missed out on qaulity time with me,that may just be down to how i handled the situation but that how i feel about it. They are 7 and 8 now and they are best friends they do everything together and always have someone to play with but dd1 does get frustraited with dd2 as she always wants the same clothes and toys etc she and she wants to be different so it can be hard on her at times.

I'm pg with #3 and this is my last child i dont want more than 3 and i'm really looking forward to enjoying this one. Hope you and your hubby agree on something x.

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