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why am i so annoyed that everyone else is worried for me?

(13 Posts)
mum2bean Fri 15-Aug-08 16:39:13

i know it sounds strange, but everyone is really getting on my nerves saying the birth will hurt and that they are worried it will hurt me! well you know, i knew what was going to happen when i got pregnant, so technically it's a bit bloody late now to tell me their worries. it's really annoying as im not worried at all! is that normal or am i being harsh on my family and bf?

Tinkerisdead Fri 15-Aug-08 16:43:28

Oh no, everyone decides to pass on their wisdom when your pregnant. It is bloody annoying, you get comments like, hmm make the most of your sleep you'll never sleep again, or you think your tired now, wait til its here. Then the birth stories and how agonising it is. Then when you say about the nice things you are looking forward to people roll their eyes or look at you like you dont have a clue.

you need to make sure you talk to other pregnant people who will indulge your fears and excitement. and tjose who have still have small babies, those are the people who say yes your tired, yes its uncomfy, yes birth hurts but its soooo worth it.

im 27 weeks and im sick of people telling me how hard it all is! Im having a homebirth and have already been told i will die!

babyignoramus Fri 15-Aug-08 16:43:49

Nope, it's annoying me a bit too! They mean well though, so don't let it get to you. Besides, their worries are meaningless - if you took up football you could break your leg, but you don't need others to tell you that...!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Fri 15-Aug-08 16:51:09

In the case of those closest to you (m&d and bf) it can be quite a stressful time for them too.

My dh was fine, but my m&d were very anxious about my sister when she was in labour (it didn't help that she had marathon labours either), so I didn't tell them when I went into labour. I think the saying 'if I could have done it for them, I would have' really does apply here.

However, I think they need to bite their tongues, as they can't do it for you and it doesn't help having that extra pressure put on you.

MiniMarmite Fri 15-Aug-08 16:52:55

Totally agree, completely annoying...even my brother who is usually quite tactful and great (and who has two young kids himself) keeps asking me if know what I'm letting myself in for...well, having not had a baby yet not quite but I can see how happy it makes him despite the hard work etc rant!

ooh, that feels better, thanks blush

mum2bean Fri 15-Aug-08 16:59:46

lol, thanks, does feel good to be able to rant and rave about it, and know that it's just not me that feels like that!

lauraloola Fri 15-Aug-08 17:42:39

I hated all of the comments that came with my pregnancy. I just used to say 'oh well, everyones different Im sorry you had such a hard time' and walk off!!! It worked a treat.

I enjoyed my labour, obviously it hurts but once you know lo is safe and you have a cuddle you forget it all. Its defo worth a bit of pain for the end result xxx

aurorec Fri 15-Aug-08 19:41:14

Why are they specifically worried about the pain? Do you have a particularly low pain threshold or something? wink

Of course it's going to hurt, but surely you know that right???? So why go on about it? Why not tell you all about the lovely drugs they can give you to ease the pain grin and most importantly how chuffed you'll feel when you hold your newborn in your arms?

minouminou Fri 15-Aug-08 20:20:45

i have one particular chum who is a real cassandra
i told her we'd just bought DS' pram (i was about 30 weeks at the time), I WAS REALLY EXCITED, IT WAS a quinny 3-wheeler, and it was obvious i was looking forward to using it
i got a text along the lines of
"just wait until you're pulling a big pram up 2 flights of stairs after a section, with 6 tins of prescription (note use of word prescription) formula, and 3-wheel prams are notorious for tipping over"
F**K me
i didn't have a section, i am still BF-ing 2 years on, and i got the pram up 2 flights just fine (we did move soon, however)
oh yeah, and, BF-ing hurts "and it's SUCH agony that you won't be able to carry on", and..."oh you MUST get into silver'll be treated SO much better.....the regular midwives are horrible to you" they weren't at all!
yes, people have problems, pre and post-natally, but why obsess over them until you've got them?
i started getting quite short with her and saying things like "I'm actually going to enjoy this pregnancy" in a very leaden tone of voice - it worked well

JentlyDoesIt Fri 15-Aug-08 20:39:51

I hated the "how are you going to manage" when pg with DD as there is only a 17 month gap. Felt like saying "Oh God, I hadn't thought of that, what on earth shall I do?"

I tried to be really positive about my pregnancies whenever I was talking to someone who was harping on about the pain / tiredness etc.

mum2bean Sat 16-Aug-08 16:43:15

i have no idea why as i have a fairly high pain threshold. and i know that it is going to hurt, but thats one of the things about pregnancy, or did i miss that when i decided to have a baby!!!! this is why it is annoying me sooooo much, i know it's going to hurt, and yes, it might be difficult and i'll loose sleep etc, but we have been giving birth for bloody years, i think if women as a race were unable to cope, there would be no reproduction at all!!!angry
wow, that felt good lol.
i have a new solution, i've become sarcastic/stupid, and just smile with a glazed look in my eyes and say "really? well i never knew it came out of there!"

tab1 Sat 16-Aug-08 16:56:38

i loved being pregnant, stayed fit and healthy and had a drug free, manageable labour. Some poeple are negative about everything, just ignore them.

Wisknit Sat 16-Aug-08 17:38:23

I'm pg with 3rd, 17 mpnths betwen first 2, will be 20 months between 2 and 3. People keep saying 'ooh, you're going to have your hands full aren't you?'
Cos obciously I just sit around all day at the mo while the DSs sit quietly on the sofa.
People are indeed a PITA.

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