giddly - without knowing all the details I don't want to comment on your recent case, other than to say that whatever happened it must have been very sad for all involved . Do you have details of the study you mentioned? I'd be interested to see what their criteria were. My guess would be we're talking the same risk, and the asphyxia is caused by cord prolapse - I'd like to know though.
Backgammon - from talking to the MWs, the skill in breech birth is having the confidence to do nothing while things are moving forward and the experience to recognise when things have stopped progressing. I had a homebirth with IMs, although we were pretty well decided on both of those before DD was confirmed as breech. As others have said, it was a very calm and peaceful afair. DD was my first. I don't know that you actually need to have more trust for a breech birth than for any vaginal birth (one reason we were looking at IMs to start with was our CMW had dented our confidence in her and, by proxy, the CMW team), other than its so much easier to go into a vaginal breech birth with low confidence in your body's ability to do this due to all the scare stories around.
Its not an easy decision to make and it will inevitably be very personal to you and your circumstances. All that matters is that you are comfortable with the decision you make. You do not have to make a decision during the meeting tomorrow if you need time to think.
If you do want to follow up on the vaginal birth at the hospital after your consultant's appointment, call the supervisor of midwifery - in theory the consultants should know the score, but its always worth making sure the midwifery team are working off teh same hymn sheet. If they do have a small number of midwives with experience, it may be possible (and would be in their best interests) to make sure at least one will be available when you labour.
(Oh, and just in case the consultant is less enlightened than we currently have reason to believe, if they start quoting "research shows vaginal birth is less safe than CS", check what research they are referring to - its almost certain to be the Term Breech Trial published by Hannah et al in The Lancet {full text available for free if you're really interested} in 2000, and generally considered to be so flawed in conception, execution and analysis its not worth the paper its printed on.)