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So what do you do when you see the MW with a few small problems, and you're not happy that either....(25 Posts)
They haven't grasped just how worried you are about it. (My fault not theirs, I had my boys with me and didn't want them hearing it all)
You're even more worried that you are making a big deal out of nothing. (They know their job, who am I to question it?)
You're not happy that they haven't tried to put your mind at rest, even if you are making a big deal out of nothing, (but then did they understand how worried I am?).
Jeez, am I making a big deal out of nothing???
Give them a call when your boys are not there and let them know how you are feeling, explaining why you couldn;t go into detail before.
Is it anything MNers can advise you about?
You can't talk to them ont he phone, you have to ring labour ward, and then I just feel like a PITA!
I have had a few bits of advice from MN but not about it all together.
Firstly I am 16+4, with both of my boys I was feeling them moving - proper kicks - by now, but I'm getting absolutely nothing so far with this one, not even the first little flutterrings, and I know it is early, and I know every pregnancy is different, but none of that stops me worrying about it IYKWIM? I have a doppler so I know the HB is fine, but I also know my sister heard the HB and it was fine only to then go for 20 weeks scan and find out with 4 of her babies that they either had DS or SB. MW today said "but you wouldn't normally feel movements yet" I know this, but I do normally feel kicks by now, it just isn't right.
Secondly, I am getting very breathless for very little reason, just walking up the stairs leaves me so out of breath and dizzy, my eyes kind of black over, and I have to stop half way up them, I am/have never been like this. My sister put it into my head that it could be high BP, (I had Pre-Eclampsia last pregnancy, so am obviously worried about it coming back again) When I told the MW about it today firstly she checked my notes to see what my iron levels are, they are fine, then she said "it must be low BP, BP can dip in early pregnancy (Is 16+ weeks early pregnancy?), when I asked "wouldn't I have been getting dizzy from standing up too quickly?", she said "oh well it can't be that then, it must be your sugar levels, you have to eat regulary", I said "I have been eating loads to combat sickness", she said "Oh no, you must make sure you are eating breakfast, lunch and dinner, that'll sort it out" None of which was exactly reassuring.
Thirdly, and I didn't even mention this because she was obviously not interested by this point, but I am getting what I assume is BH, but nothing is tightening, just feels like period pain but it can last for hours, it doesn't hurt just aches. Is that BH?
I am just one big bloody whinge bag aren't I?
can't really offer advice here but fyi my GP referred to blood pressure dipping during 2nd trimester, not "early pregnancy".
Also I have a friend who is on her 3rd pregnancy and says it's been nothing like her first 2, much more discomfort etc. - so maybe it's best to try to see this pg as a bit different and try to hang on a bit longer to feel movements etc.
does yr hosp allow you to have extra scans to put yr mind at ease? May be worth requesting one so you can at least see baby's movements?
Really hope that the next few weeks fly by for you and that everything settles.
Thanks Kookie, no hospital aren't good at extra scans, I had a heavy bleed at 7 weeks and they wouldn't even scan me then till 6 days later...
I am trying to take comfort from the MW not being worried about any of it, but it doesn't really help, it was the same MW who completely missed the PE last time so I kind of feel like if she could miss that, then what else could she miss IYKWIM?
Oh Nat you are not a whingebag - remember you from ttc after mc threads and it is natural to be worried.
I am 18+3 today, so not very different from you. Am just starting to feel bubbles inside me although no kicks, but hb is v difficult to find - only had it on doppler twice. I am also getting a real ache on the right side of my bump, is this like yours or do you ache all over?
Try and keep telling yourself that every pg is different and it doesn't mean that things are wrong. (maybe this one is a girl and less kicking inclined )
Did mw take your BP? If it puts your mind at ease you could get a docs appt, or does your chemist/leisure centre have a BP machine? Also the breathlessness is of course worrying. Maybe make a docs appt and get your breathing checked in case you are borderline asthmatic? Lots of people don't get this until they are adults, my aunt started with it at 48!
When is your next scan? (& doesn't the time drag until it comes round!)
Hope someone else comes along with more advice soon.
If you feel anxious is there anyone else you could see?
You're not a whinge bag, you've been pregnant before- I'd say trust your instincts, maybe see your GP and find out if there's another MW you could be referred to, or a gynecologist at your hospital.
In your notes, does it just give the number of the maternity ward? I ask because my hosptial now has a maternity helpline (mw staffed) and they were very nice to me today when I rang about blood test results
Am 17w ish and the dizziness is familiar. The pains could be stretching pains? Re: movement, each pg is different and your baby/placenta might be in a different position.
If you are worried, go and see your GP or ask to see another mw or ring the hosptial. And put the doppler away!
i think that it is entirely reasonable that you want your MW to be able to reassure and you obviously don't find that she can. Possibly because you don't have confidence in her, or maybe you two just don't gel?
I should think strongly about whether you can ask for another MW as you need to feel confident that your mw is listening to you and is capable. Beware in case they give you someone less qualified though - I should feel your way carefully.
In the meantime, I think you would feel your baby very differently depending on its position in the womb - this could possibly explain why you've not felt movement yet, but might only be detected by a scan.
Hope this helps and am sure someone who knows loads more will be along soon with more/better advice.
Jackstini, no the ache is low down just like where you'd get period pain, and is just a constant ache, then it goes for a few hours and then comes back for a few hours. MW did BP, I don't understand the numbers at all, but I know that throughout my last pregnancies the number on top was lower than the number on the bottom, usually around 90 over 130-ish this time it is higher on top, and lower on the bottom todays was 106 over 60, MW didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with it, either way. I don't think it is asthma, I had asthma as a child, so know the wheeze, this isn't a wheeze I am getting, it is just really fast breathing, almost gasping for air, no wheezy noise or anything. Next scan is a month away.
I don't, or can't really change MW, we have a team of midwives attached to our GP surgery (hospital is in next town) there are 6 different MW and it is pot luck as to which one you see on which day. They are only available at the GP's on a Tuesday morning, and although have a number you can ring at other times, no one ever picks up or returns calls. To change MW I would need to see the MW at the hospital which is impossible for me, as I said, it's in the next town, I don't drive, it is a big PITA getting to the MW now, let alone having to go to the hospital!
The doppler isn't adding to my worries, in fact if anything is the only thing keeping me going at the moment!
I think you were mistaken over your bp in your last pregnancy then systolic (1st) reading should always be higher than the distolic(2nd) reading
106/60 bp is low preferred bp is 120/80
although low bp does usually mean you are fitter than the average person! It can ofcourse cause dizziness and breathlessness during pregnancy as your blood is working faster than usual.
Surely you would prefer low bp as this would indicate less chance of repeat of pre-eclampsia.
Book an appt with your GP who I am sure will reassure you/
If it's any help my bloodpressure has been around 90-110 over 60-70 throughout this pregnancy and I've fainted and felt dizzy a lot. Having the bottom number higher is when it's a problem and considered high bloodpressure.
I've had a lot of low down achiness as well, mw told me that it's the ligaments stretching and sometimes this can be worse when it's not your first.
Can you phone to make another appointment and get someone to look afert the boys for you?
Do you know where your placenta is? I ask because I had an anterior placenta first time round and felt nothing for ages and ages. Even when I was quite big I still didn't feel anything but the biggest movements.
Have you had your iron levels checked? Breathlessness can be a sign of low iron which can be sorted out with change of diet and/or iron tablets or supplements like spatone. Just noticed you had your iron levels checked - how long ago were they done?
Don't feel bad about ringing them .. that's what they are there for.
When you say PE - do I take it you had a pulmonary embolism last time? Are you taking clexane this pregnancy?
Jamie, you may be right about my memory, but there is deffo something different about it, as I said I know nothing about the numbers or what they mean, so I don't know how it is different IYKWIM? And yes low BP is much prefferable, I didn't realise I had come across as wanting high (or low for that matter) BP? I suppose I am just nervous of the unknown.
Kaz, my iron was checked on 3rd June, result says 12.7 MOV 99.8, not sure the letters are MOV, but certainly look like that! MW seemed to think that was fine today? And I don't know where the placenta is, but wouldn't the sonographer have at least commented on it being at the front (if it is?) I don't know?
Stripey, sorry was using PE for pre-eclampsia.
Thats ok then, you had me really worried for a minute. Previos embolism and breathlessness = not good.
Sorry your m/w hasn't been more reassuring - the lack of feeling movements could be due to placental position which is different in every pregnancy. If your placenta is anterior this time then you won't feel movements as early/as much.
Sorry Stripey , didn't mean to worry you!
No thats ok - just glad for you that it wasn't previous embolism or I think I'd have been telling you to go to a&e!
If it helps I have an anterior placenta and didnt feel a thing until 19+ weeks, no-one really made a point of telling me it was-just dropped casually in conversation one day. I didnt actually get 'proper, yes thats definitely not gas...' movements until about 21 weeks.
NataieJane - I think there is no definitive answer for the symptoms you are feeling other than the fact it is pregnancy itself rather than anything being wrong. As a midwife it is really hard to reassure someone about these symptoms when you cannot put a finger on it and say that x causes y.
I think that is maybe why you don't feel reassured?
Your MW has given a number of common reasons why you might feel like this, but it seems they are pretty much ruled out.
At 16 weeks though you are in the second trimester and hormone levels are rising. These hormones can cause your blood vessels to relax which strts to lower your blood pressure. You won't necessarily feel dizzy when you get up because your BP isn't dramatically low, but lower that you body usually is used to. It will resolve over time.
The pain you are decribing may well be early SPD (symphisis pubis dysfunction) type pain - again due to the effect of hormones and the fact you have 2 other children to run around after. It may well settle again. I remember with my 4th baby having terrible abdominal pain up to 24 weeks when it stopped.
It also isnt unusual not to feel the baby move because you are more distracted and also because the baby has a larger space to be in because you have had babies before.
I am not sure that a doppler is helpful because it can increase anxiety if ther baby cannot be immediately picked up.
I think there is an element of increased anxiety when you are pregnant again, especially if you have ever miscarried. I remember that anxiety very well and it is very real.
There is nothing that you have siad here that makes me think, as a midwife, there is anything wrong. Pregnancy is a huge strain on women's bodies and I think you are just feeling those effects at the moment.
Do you have any 'me time'?
Can you get lazing about for a couple of hours at all just relaxing. Not easily achieved when you have little ones but perhaps your sister could give you a rest?
I am pregnant with no 3 and with my other 2 I frelt movements about 16-18 weeks. with this one it was 22 weeks
as going to suggest anterior placenta too
i think your anxiety is heightend due to your miscarriage, which is quite understandable
maybe start taking spatone, as if your iron is a bit low, that could help with the dizziness etc
sorry you are worried though xxxxx
Mears thank you, well thanks to everyone really, but especially Mears. Your post was just what I needed!
I have already had a bit of a run in with SPD, hadn't linked that and the period type pain before but I suppose it makes sense now!
The doppler is OK for me, so far (since finding the HB the first time) I haven't had any problem picking it up, but I am aware that there will probably come a time when I can't pick it up, but because I know that can happen I am hoping it won't cause any worry (just doppler over time maybe!).
I think a lot of this is me just over-thinking things, I kind of took it for granted that everything would be OK with my boys, then had a MC and this time have spent more time looking for things going wrong, or things not quite right, I am going to make an effort to stop doing this as it really isn't doing anyone any good!
'Me time', DH is very good and takes the boys out at least once a week so I get some peace and quiet, my sister unfortunately lives miles and miles away.
Anyway, thanks again Mears, I think I just needed it all spelling out.
Sorry x posts after Mears'.
I honestly feel much less worried after reading Mears' post, if my MW this morning would have even taken 2 minutes to actually look at me, and spoke to me rather than her desk, maybe I'd have got the reassurance from her?
She was taking that little notice that despite me telling her, and her reading in my notes that my rubella needed checking again she still took the bloods for the triple test first and then decided she should have done the rubella first!
Glad my post was helpful
We midwives can be a bit stupid at times . I have taken bloods before, taken out the needle then realised I have missed out one.
Got a (nice) row once from a lady who was a phlebotomist (takes blood) when I pressed on the hole left by the needle with a mediswab instead of a cotton wool ball because it stings. It isn't good practice but I hadn't brought cotton wool balls with me because I was disorgansied.
Happend to the best of us
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