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Isn't it annoying how RUDE people are when you tell em you are expecting third (and subsequent!) babies?

(48 Posts)
MamaG Mon 21-Jul-08 21:07:28

Instead of the "how lovelies" and the "congratulations" comments, you get

Was it planned?

Ooh you must be mad

Oh you're going to have your hands full (like I sit on my arse all day and watch Jeremy Kyle now, with two children)

me and mate (also pg with dc3) were discussing it today and have BOTH experienced it


daisydora Mon 21-Jul-08 21:14:21

I am expecting my DC2 at mo, but my sister has 3 boys. When pg with 3rd people constantly said to her 'oohh I bet your hoping for a girl aren't you?' and then when he was born she got 'are you disappointed then its not a girl?' She had to bit her lip not to say 'of course I'm not fu*king disappointed - I have a beautiful baby!!!!'

cadelaide Mon 21-Jul-08 21:15:30

Someone said to me "you're supposed to stop at two you know" grin

milknosugar Mon 21-Jul-08 21:15:56

wait til you have 4 of the same sex!

cadelaide Mon 21-Jul-08 21:16:12

I found ome people seemed a bit embarrassed, like it must be a mistake and they didn't know what to say.

cadelaide Mon 21-Jul-08 21:16:25


MamaG Mon 21-Jul-08 21:17:11

mate said that daisydora, she has two boys. She said people keep saying "ooh are you hoping for a girl this time?" NO! Its as if DS2 was a disappointment, ridiculous really!

I've had "but you've alreayd got a girl and a boy"

bearmama Mon 21-Jul-08 21:23:00

I tell my friend she'd be mad to have a third. But that is because the four of them live in a one bedroom flat and she last had a proper nights sleep about eight years ago.
But that is my oldest friend and she invited my honest opinion.
Couldnt imagine saying it to a stranger. That IS rude and why is it anyone else's business?

Wisknit Mon 21-Jul-08 21:25:42

My mum's friend told her me and dh expecting 3rd is 'ridiculous' and that "obviously dh will have to get 'seen to'".

daisydora Mon 21-Jul-08 21:25:42

MamaG I'm only on 2nd pg, and a work colleague keeps saying are you hoping for a boy then?? Why would I be?? If I have another girl great if I have a boy great. As long as its healthy who gives a shit how may you have of whatever sex!

Soe people are just weird about these things

theinsider Mon 21-Jul-08 21:25:43

People do feel they have the right to ask "was it planned?". I had three each just under 18 months apart - by number three I felt I wanted to make it plain from the off it was planned.

And with one of each to start with people seemed particularly disbelieving that we might have chosen to have another.

Why do they think they have the right to ask such intimate questions? - "Did you have unprotected sex, ensuring your dh came inside you on purpose?".

And as for "you've got your hands full" - I've still got no answer. I like how we've done it. It's hard now but our children are already becoming a little gang. I just smile inanely most of the time as I don't actually want to be rude but sometimes, on a bad day... angry

theinsider Mon 21-Jul-08 21:27:02

And "have you worked out how to stop it yet?"

And "no TV in your house then?".

Megglevache Mon 21-Jul-08 21:27:42

Oh that's a bit sad MamaG I think it's because families are so much smaller now?

Congrats BTW, when are you due?

I'd love a thrid but I am too scared to be pregnant again grin

iliketosleep Mon 21-Jul-08 21:28:35

I have had from EVERYONE including all my family and friends.....

"are you going to stop now?"


"Is this your last one?"

I suppose I am only 24 and this is my 4th but still, its none of their fucking buisness..........

theinsider Mon 21-Jul-08 21:28:58

Yes, MamaG, sorry, should have said

"congratulations, how lovely, hope you're feeling ok, how wonderful".


MamaG Mon 21-Jul-08 21:31:27

Meggle -thanks - 26 weeks on thurs - due 30 oct

Megglevache Mon 21-Jul-08 21:34:37

Ooh, ooh a little pumpkin-
See that's much more annoying and I'd bet good money you've been told that several times!

MamaG Mon 21-Jul-08 21:39:51

Do you know what, I haven't heard that once, really! Tis quite sweet grin

scorpio1 Mon 21-Jul-08 21:40:53

oh yes you are a freak for having more than 2

i cant wait to see peoples faces when i say dc4 is coming (not yet btw)

pgwithnumber3 Mon 21-Jul-08 21:49:34

MamaG tell me about it! I started a thread last week complaining of the same thing. People can't help themselves though can they but as I see it, it is more them saying how they couldn't cope, not us!

rolledhedgehog Mon 21-Jul-08 22:08:30

My Dad asked with #2 'Was it planned?'. It was!

With #3 he said nothing at all. Complete silence - not shocked by this but slightly hurt. The baby is now 5 months and he has never held him. I know he loves his grandkids but it is bloody lucky I know this is just part of his oddness and can see beyond it!

n5rje Mon 21-Jul-08 22:28:31

I have 4ds and I lost count of the number of times I was asked if I wanted a girl the 3rd and 4th times. Anyone who knows me well knew that was the last thing I wanted but everyone else seems to find it incomprehensible that I might want more boys. I don't know if this is because they think that there is something wrong with boys or if they think that you have to want to have what you haven't got. What I have found particularly surprising is the number of times I've been asked of I'll be having another one (DS4 is only 20 wks) as if once you've gone past two you'll never stop. Actually I would have more if I wasn't so old !!

gigglewitch Mon 21-Jul-08 22:33:03

yep, i get the "you've got your hands full, then" hmm and "you got your girl then"
The most annoying was "are you gonna get a telly now?" GGgggrrrrrrrrr!!

EEC Tue 22-Jul-08 08:17:10

Try having a 10 year gap then having No 3! The comments are unbelievable. (some nice of course) but so many 'you must be mad's it's unbelievable. MIL was the worst and I really did find it quite hurtful.

'glutton for punishment'
'it's going to completely change your life' (Oh, is it?)
'what about all those sleepless nights?' (I hadn't thought about those -silly me!)

Still, she's being great now (41+2 weeks).

The important people (ie my DCs) were thrilled so that's all that matters really!

MamaG Tue 22-Jul-08 08:46:23

I agree EEC - my DC were thrilled and thats what counts

(for the record, no.3 wasn't planned grin but it won't make ti any less loved)

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