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I am pregnant, if i keep this baby, what help is there,?

(11 Posts)
samispink Mon 21-Jul-08 16:59:11

Im 24 and a student, i have a b.f but i became pregnant last yr and had an abortion because he made me think that was the right thing, If i keep this baby i know i will lose him so what help is there for a single mother, i have no parents so can not go home, and i privatly rent a flat with my b.f so wouldnt be able to stay here. any advise??

Ewe Mon 21-Jul-08 17:02:03

You could go on benefits and I believe you would receive income support and housing from the council.

I am in my early 20's and a single Mum, although I work so a bit different and have very supportive XP (how would yours be?) as well as family and friends.

It's possible but it will be hard. Where in the UK are you?

samispink Mon 21-Jul-08 17:04:32

im in brighton, tbh i would probaly want to up and leave and start somewhere new, my b.f wouldnt want to know and i dont think i would want him to after he made me have an abortion last time i dont think i would want him around as when i mentioned i was late on this month he said if i was pregnant he would want a DNA test as he hasnt come inside me, so he would be accusing me of cheating too!

DazedEmma Mon 21-Jul-08 17:16:14

I'm pregnant and my ex has abandoned us, he has actually moved to France in the last week so have had the worst week of my life. I too had an abortion (with the same ex) early last year. I am not going to lie and say there are so many options for you as a single mum with no stable job, it's quite hard but what I will promise is that there is help avaiable, like Ewe touched on, you are eligable for council property and you will be eligable for housing benefit to pay your bills etc. If you do choose to continue with the pregnancy, I advise you find some temping work and save every penny you can.

I'm so sorry you're in this situation but having been in your position, (still there actually) I promise it's not the end of the world, it can be the start of a whole new one x

samispink Mon 21-Jul-08 17:19:53

how do i find out about housing etc? would they be quick as i would want to leave asap if i decide to keep this baby!
I would work all the hours i could in the lead up too.
But i would quite like to up and leave my area and go as far away as poss but again im not sure how to go about that!

Ellbell Mon 21-Jul-08 17:23:36

If you're a student, go into the student's union and ask their advice. They should have a welfare office or equivalent and they will have people who are qualified to advise you. (They will do so even if you say that you want to leave your course because of hte baby.) Sorry that you're in this situation. I am sending you all good wishes. And to you too, DazedEmma. Good luck, both of you.

ThatBigGermanPrison Mon 21-Jul-08 17:26:24

Is your name on the tenancy? If so, there is no reason youhave to move out!

bogie Mon 21-Jul-08 17:26:45

tbh if you decide to keep the baby or not you should get rid of your bf he sounds like a dick head, are you that sure he would leave? Sometimes men who say things like that see sense and that its his child too.
Housing is very hard to get and you will have to go into homless housing to get anywhere fast, me and dp went on the waiting list when ds was born and went from 80-81st in a year so we were going down the list insted of up so we bought a house.
If you don' tmind going into homless for a bit go to your local counicl explain what you have to us and they should help you.

samispink Mon 21-Jul-08 17:29:09

yes my name is on the tenancy but i couldnt afford the rent on my own.

DazedEmma Mon 21-Jul-08 17:34:24

You need to think about what you want really hard. You're going to end up on your own, in an area you don't know without friends and family around you if you up sticks and leave. If you put your name down on the council list, you will have hell of a wait and they may put you in a hostel for the time being. Once the baby comes, you will have priority of house/flat. But you need to seriously take into account, they aren't going to put you in the nicest of areas necessary, and so be prepared to be placed in a shitty area.

Have you got any family that can help you out?

Any friends who you can stay with for the next few months whilst the council find you a house?

Speak to your student advisor, they may put you in touch with citz advise.

Keep postive, sounds scary now but it WILL work out x

babyignoramus Mon 21-Jul-08 17:39:04

Can't pm you - I work for the counicl in Brighton and if you need housing advice you should make an appointment at Bartholomew House in Brighton - send me a message if youw ant directions! I would think it may be a long wait though, housing in Brighton is ridiculously hard to come by - I think the demand is lower in Haywards Heath... maybe try there?

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