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Anyone else feeling disconnected from their pregnancy

(4 Posts)
hugglebug Mon 21-Jul-08 13:22:06

This is hard to explain as well as hard to admit to. I'm 18+4 pg. Baby was planned and very much wanted but now I'm pg I'm finding it hard to be excited. I think it may be becuase I have a lot of health problems and so I'm being very closely monitored. Also having to have baby at a specialist unit in a London hospital even tho' I live in Hampshire- so lots of travelling every week. As well as that did not have major pregnancy symptoms- no morning sickness or metallic taste. Just felt a bit run down.
I do want my baby very much but I feel so disconnected from it when I talk about it or even see the scan pictures. I'm worried that I'm going to be a bad mother or maybe develop PND. haveing had depression before this is a big fear I suppose.
I just want to enjoy my pregnancy but not sure how too.
Please tell me I'm not a freak of nature?

halster Mon 21-Jul-08 13:33:12

When I was pregnant with dd1 I was very excited, however after she was born it took me ages to bond with her (difficult birth, difficult personal circumstances) and I was very overwhelmed by the experience, and possibly had mild PND. When I was pregnant with dd2 I was very disconnected from the pregnancy, I did not feel any excitement at all. Much like you describe. However, when she was born there was an instant bond and I thoroughly enjoyed her as a newborn. So don't worry too much! You do not know how you will feel when your baby is born and there is nothing unusual about being underwhelmed about the whole thing when you are pregnant.

If you are worried about PND, read up on it - learn what the signs are and get those close to you to do it too. There is lots of help out their for PND if it happens - and I hope it won't for you. Good Luck.

moosemama Mon 21-Jul-08 14:02:15

Its not unusual to feel this way, especially if you are having a tough pregnancy or are having lots of medical appointments. Please don't be hard on yourself, its more common that you think.

I felt very detached and unable to get excited during my second pregnancy but had no problems bonding with DS2 and he and I have always shared a special bond.

If you have had depression before though and think you are starting to get similar signs/symptoms, one important thing to consider is the possibility of Ante Natal Depression. Its not as well known as PND but surprisingly common, although many women find it hard to talk about, even with their midwife or doctor.

If you think this might be a possiblity, please try talking to your midwife about it and see what she thinks. You can have treatment and counselling for AND and it is usually very successful. Also it doesn't necessarily mean you will go on to get PND especially if the AND is caught and treated early on.

I am sure this is not the case with you though, just somthing to bear in mind. Its hard to be excited about being pregnant when you are feeling tired and having lots of medical appointments etc. Try to be kind to yourself, you are not alone, lots of women feel this way during pregnancy.

Anglepoise Mon 21-Jul-08 14:29:23

I felt grumpy, run-down and nauseous up until at least 16 weeks, possibly longer. Everyone else kept crapping on about the miracle of life and how amazing it was and I just couldn't share it! Now at 32 weeks I feel great, am enjoying my pregnancy a lot more and am finding it much easier to bond now that everything's settled down a bit and I can see/feel LO wiggling about all the time. Perhaps you are just another late bloomer?

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