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13 months between babies, any encouraging/inspirational stories please?

(17 Posts)
Annabellemary Fri 18-Jul-08 12:53:11

I have a 9 month old baby and am 23 weeks pregnant, all anybody says is "you're brave" or " are you mad" and "it will be a struggle". We struggled to fall pregnant first time so left it to nature and this second baby is very very wanted. I'd just like to hear from people that have maybe been in a similar situation that can offer positive thoughts or experiences because the negative comments are getting to me a bit now.

justkeepswimming Fri 18-Jul-08 13:03:12

hi, 20 months between mine and i'm ok, just!

seriously it's nowhere near as bad as i'd imagined.

positive things about small gaps:

1st dc is nowhere near potty training so no needing to rush to nearest loo/potty whilst feeding baby & can do nappy changes when you CAN rather than when you HAVE to (for older one at least, remember those explosive early poos grin).

1st dc is not old enough to be jealous & all the playing up that goes with that.

they are into the same things, tv programmes, toys, outings, etc.

will that do for starters?

ChaCha Fri 18-Jul-08 13:20:58

Firstly congratulations on our PG smile

There are 14months between my boys and there will be 17 between DS2 and DC3 due end of month.

First year was hard, won't pretend it wasn't but we got by and the boys are best of friends now. DS1 is 2.7yrs and loves his little brother, doesn't want to do much without him and DS2 follows him around everywhere. I could tell lots and lots of encouraging stories but i'd be posting an essay. I struggled to conceive DS1 so didn't think DS2 would be so easily conceived, so glad he was and DC3 too! I am all for small age gaps smile
Good luck. Feel free to contact me should you want to. x

NotDoingTheHousework Fri 18-Jul-08 13:23:17

Message withdrawn

ChaCha Fri 18-Jul-08 13:24:23

on YOUR Pg obviously hmm grin

reban Fri 18-Jul-08 13:41:31

Hi 14 months between ds1 and ds2. They are now 3 and 2 and i have a dd who is 8 and im expecting dc4 in dec before the boys have another birthday. Having experienced a big and small gap i would say its never easy but its hard for different reasons. ds1 couldnt understand as much about the delicate new baby but he was very excited about his new playmate and now has never really known any different. DD1 understood everything, is a great help, but was and still is very jealous of ds1 (but not of ds2 strangely).

Now i find it easy to have the two boys on their own then my daughter with either of them because although they are not identical (they have very different characters) the boys can very easily find common ground when playing together.

Also another point my ds2 developed in most ways earlier then the other two. I know most people say this happens anyway when a child has older siblings but i think seeing his brother who is not that much bigger than him doing things has really encouraged his eagerness to learn.

Enough of an essay! Wish you good luck its not easy and you will get fed up of the comments, i've had a whole new array since i anounced my most recent pregnancy, but they are sooo worth it

CarGirl Fri 18-Jul-08 13:42:55

I have a 14 month gap between my middle two and I think it's been wonderful. although it's hard for the first year it's okay and I just accepted that my life would be limited for the first year but in some ways it really wasn't. Had a double pushchair they would both sit in it etc, lots of toddler groups etc. It was tricky that the elder one didn't learn to walk until after the baby was born though!

Numbo Fri 18-Jul-08 13:43:56

I think it's nice for the children

I have an 11 month gap between myself and sister - we've gone through life stages at a similar time and have always been close.

My cousin had twins and said although the first year was harder it became easier as they played together loads and were good companions etc....

Also remember everyone is different and has a different tolerance.... some people find one baby a struggle and others can handle 4+ children and still love every minute!

jeanjeannie Fri 18-Jul-08 13:48:00

Conrats! Well, not such a big gap but there's 18 months for us which was a shock as I'm 42! DD1 is now 20mths and DD2 is 7 weeks....it's manic!! but great grin

Both went into meltdown in the library yesterday - I had DD1 stuck to breast while DD2 escaped her reigns and ran amuck in the biography section....and people were sooo nice! Folk rallied round to help - got me a seat - staff played with DD1....and that leads me to my point (yes, there is one!) TAKE ANY help that comes your way!

Both DP and me have been up all night with feeding and teething...and MIL has come round to take DD1 swimming...and that's a blessing. I can sleep and play on MN!!!

I'm told it gets easier and the pay-off comes when they're old enough to play together....fingers crossed eh! Ignore negative comments....you'll cope...you'll be tired and may not get out of your pyjamas for months grin but it'll all come together
HTHx

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Fri 18-Jul-08 15:23:35

I'm expecting dc1 in the autumn so no direct experience but my friend has twins which she adores, also didn't jules oliver have her two within a year? her book's great....personally would love to have that kind of age gap - you get all the nappies over and done with in one go!

good luck and congrats

Annabellemary Mon 21-Jul-08 11:47:23

Thank you for all of your messages, I'm sure it will be fine. I managed well without help with the first one so hopefully will be ok with the second too but did find that joining groups etc. keeping busy with the baby helped a lot. Thank you

Elmosgirl Mon 21-Jul-08 11:51:40

I have 18 motnhs between so not as close. DD2 is now 4 months and it has been fine...not a struggle at all, slightly loud sometimes bit fabulous. I won't deny it was tiring to start with having to feed at night and then be up with a toddler. Also the last few weeks of pregnancy are tougher when you can't just lie on the sofa and relax as much.

BUT....life now is fabulous, DD1 adores DD2 and I doubt can even remember her never being around, I still have time for me, DD1 still gets to go to all her groups, soft play, in the early days I found it easier to be out than at home as DD1 was entertained and DD2 slept. Has been such a positive thing for our family. I wouldn't change it for the world.

foxythesnowfox Mon 21-Jul-08 11:59:00

14 months inbetween my first two, and its fab now (they are 6 and 5). The first 12 months is really, really hard work, but in some ways its made easier as you essentially have two babies. Its physically tough, my DS1 wasn't walking so I had two to pick up and carry around. I was unprepared for how emotionally hard it was going to be. I felt terribly guilty for DS1, but I worked out that this was unfounded. Having DS2 had no effect on him whatsoever. I only mention it as I hadn't expected it, but subsequently having spoken to other mums, found I was not alone in it.

Now they are older (and have been joined by two DDs) its fab. They share friends, do the same activities (less ferrying around), are at similar stages of development, and they really do look out for each other. They also fight, admittedly, but I think 'tiger cubs' and don't worry that one is much bigger than the other IYSWIM.

I wouldn't have done it any other way, although I do look back now and think 'Blimey! How did I do that?!'

MKG Mon 21-Jul-08 12:32:17

I have 20 months between ds1 and ds2 and there will be 20 months between ds2 and this baby (due in March).

The trick is accepting that your life will be chaotic and working with it.

I love my age gap because as one is walking and talking the other still needs to be cuddled all day. It really is the best of both worlds.

jamiesummers Tue 22-Jul-08 10:17:21

Hi I have 12months 2 weeks between my 2 sons

I have found it much easier than DD1 who was on her own until she was 12, they amuse each other , play together with same toys, encourage each other in different tasks and are so adorable that I am now due on Thurs with my 4th child another boy

Good luck and just cjill and enjoy them you will be fine x

iliketosleep Tue 22-Jul-08 11:31:57

I've got 13 months between dd1 and dd2 and they fight like cat and dog but love each other to bits grin

midnightexpress Tue 22-Jul-08 11:48:45

Hi. I've got 14 months between my two and it's great. They're now 2.8 and 1.6 and they already play together (and fight each other for toys) and are such fun. The first year or so is hard, but if they're your only children, you don't really have anything to compare it to, so you just get on with it. They love each other so much - always ask for each other in the morning. When we were away recently we had them in the same room at night for the first time - expected it to be horrendous, but they just snuggled down to sleep - I think they found it really comforting to be in the same room.

No jealousy in the early days (though they do vie for lap space now).

And now we are potty training with ds1, what a great treat it is not to have two loads of nappies - you will really notice the difference once you get to that stage.

I had a CS so those first few weeks were especially tough as DS1 was only just walking and I couldn't pick him up, but I was lucky to be able to get in help until my scar had healed. If this happens to you, do take as many offers of help as you can!

Congratulations and don't believe the doom-mongers. It's fab.

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