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Lots of people with unplanned babies on the way!

(54 Posts)
itati Fri 18-Jul-08 11:28:43

Did you have sex and assume you wouldn't get pregnant, did contraception fail, or were you just not thinking?

Congrats to all

ScottishMummy Fri 18-Jul-08 11:31:02

to clarify are you asking us?or telling us your situation

bethoo Fri 18-Jul-08 11:32:56

my mw said to me that if you are not using anything then you are subconsciously trying! grin so i guess that though we were not officially trying we were not officially trying not to iykwim!! grin but hey ho at 28 weeks too late now! smile

WarmFuzzy Fri 18-Jul-08 11:34:59

After eight years of ttc and being classed 'subfertile' and going through yucky tests and treatment before having DS1 I kind of assumed it wouldn't happen to me... even after DS2 was conceived without any fertility treatment blush.

itati Fri 18-Jul-08 11:34:59

Nope, not me!

star6 Fri 18-Jul-08 11:36:39

Stopped taking the pill last may. Got married in October... were planning to get pg in about a year or two once we were more "settled"... used the "pull out" method for a while... failed once, very early MC - dr said "you probably won't ovulate for a few months now" We thought, sweet- free birth control! Was not the case. Fell Pg the VERY NEXT MONTH. Now 27+5 weeks and VERY excited to meet our baby! (after the initial shock wore off)

bethoo Fri 18-Jul-08 11:37:08

saying that i think my dp thought i would not. after suffering a m/c we were unprotected and he thought it would take ages to conceive but 2 months later it happened. then whilst i was still bf ds i conceived again when ds was 10 months.
i had told him! grin

star6 Fri 18-Jul-08 11:41:04

planning to be very careful once baby is born.. but do not want to go back on the pill... so many bad things I've read about being on it that long - was on it for 7 years (the same amount of time I've been with dh by the way... it's not like we only knew eah other for a short time, then got pg!! - thought I'd clarify .

LackaDAISYcal Fri 18-Jul-08 11:43:16

I was still BFing; cycle had been approximately 8 weeks since baby was 9 weeks old (baby now at 8 months). DH asked "is it safe?" "oh, yes, i replied, I'm only two weeks into what has been an 8 week cycle". Two days later I ov'd so I guess things got right back to normal that month blush

We discussed MAP, but it would be getting on for the 72 hours before I could get to a chemist so decided to take a chance, with DH saying "You'e not pregnant, don't worry".

Two weeks and a small fortune in pregnancy tests later....a BIG FAT POSITIVE.

We had talked ourselves into it during those two weeks though, so by the time we knew for certain we were pretty resigned to it.

Am 24 weeks and can't wait now grin

MKG Fri 18-Jul-08 12:34:08

ds1--unplanned -- The discussion of babies had taken place, but not actively trying for one.

ds2-unplanned -- We were thinking of trying for another a few months later.

Miscarriage in January-- Unplanned pregnancy

dc3 (six weeks pregnant) -- unplanned, but secretly hoped for.

purlease Fri 18-Jul-08 12:36:14

not very sensitive thread for all of us out here who are desperate to have a baby but having trouble sad

WarmFuzzy Fri 18-Jul-08 12:39:55

Having been in that situation myself, may I ask why you would choose to read it then?

purlease Fri 18-Jul-08 12:43:45

Saw it in active conversations. Have friends who have unplanned pregnancies and to be honest I just don't get it.

It's alright - I appreciate we can't be sensitive to everybodys position - then we wouldn't be able to talk about anything. I'm more annoyed with friends attitude rather than anyone on here - just easier to lash (albeit very timidly) at anonymous people blush

ScottishMummy Fri 18-Jul-08 12:45:20

purlease i dont think anyone is intentionally trying to be provocative or upset. many MN thread touch a raw nerve for all of us (particular topics i do avoid too painful)

so as hurtful as it for you is to read, it is an innocouus is a parenting site it will mention pg and birth and birth announcements

so i suppose give this a miss use hide topic option.

purlease Fri 18-Jul-08 12:47:00

I agree. Being over sensitive.

Congrats all.

WarmFuzzy Fri 18-Jul-08 12:49:47

I understand, purlease. But I do think pregnancy, planned or unplanned is a wholly appropriate topic for a pregnancy thread. And, for the record, I am 100% delighted and over the moon with my unplanned pregnancy.

itati Fri 18-Jul-08 12:50:12

I am truly sorry for anyone this has upset.

I was merely curious as it seems to me there is a lot of unplanned babies on the way and I was wondering why people didn't use contraception. It wasn't mean to be a big deal, a dig at anyone or to cause problems.

Clearly I am too sensible to get carried

purlease Fri 18-Jul-08 12:51:28

I think it's when people moan about it, that it is annoying tbh.

purlease Fri 18-Jul-08 12:55:35

move on - I'm not upset - I was being over sensitive smile. And actually reading through everyones experiences, I was also being stupid posting. sorry

itati Fri 18-Jul-08 12:57:00

No need to apologise for your feelings.

I do understand. I get upset when people post complaining that they are having twins. I lost one of mine and would love to have had both of them here, but I just hide any mention of twins and multiple births as it is best for me. I am happy for everyone having them, just sad for me.

lou031205 Fri 18-Jul-08 12:57:40

I personally think that these things are rarely a complete 'accident' (except in the case of contraceptive failure), and that it is the subconscious at work.

youngbutnotdumb Fri 18-Jul-08 12:57:52

I must say I was always one of those horrid people who said 'I'm never having children' and I had a friend who was going through fertility treatment with 2MC and there's me pregnant and all happy about it! Yes my DS was unplanned but I wouldn't change him for the world. Happily though my friend, who I must admit I must have seemed totally inconsiderate and basically an ignorant cow to her when she was going through that desperatel wanting a child, is now due her first baby next month and all is well.

itati Fri 18-Jul-08 12:59:05

That is great ybnd. grin

youngbutnotdumb Fri 18-Jul-08 13:02:18

I know I'm as excited as she is

Sorry to hear about your DC Itali, I would have loved twins when I look at my sisters.
Atleast you have one of ur wee angels left and I'm sure the other is looking down on you everyday smiling at how well your taking care of his/her sibling!

pgwithnumber3 Fri 18-Jul-08 13:02:55

Purlease, hope you are lucky soon. I have been in your position and it sucks.

I have had two unplanned pregnancies, DD2 and this one. After being told I was infertile and never would have children naturally (DD1 was IVF), we have never had to use contraception. Obviously now we will have to sort something out!

It is a strange thing an unplanned pregnancy though, it takes you a while to warm up to the fact that you are going to have a baby. I was so enraptured with my pregnancy with DD1 but have just got on with the last two pregnancies. I suppose it has a lot to do with your first pregnancy being so new and exciting as well though.

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