How to tell the difference between ante-natal depression and just being plain hormonal?

[ButIForgetMyself]

How can you tell?

I'm 16+2.

I've been steadily feeling worse for weeks. I'm usually a positive upbeat person, but now all day I sit and cry, when I'm supposed to be happy! This baby is very much wanted!

Irrationally, I feel like my DP is going to leave me short of money when I'm on SMP. I feel like he's going to leave me sitting in alone with the baby all the time. I feel like he's not going to be contactable when I go into labour. All this is irrational, he's given me no cause to think these things. He comes to every antenatal appointment with me, is being great. I spend all my time either snapping at him or crying.

I'm snappy at work, I'm not enjoying it at all. I feel like I can't cope. I can't handle a simple phone conversation, I'm dropping calls from my friends left, right and centre because I don't want to moan about how negative I'm feeling.

I am struggling to go out anywhere. All I want to do is hide. I resent DP because he can wind down at the end of the day with a glass of wine. His life isn't changing. Mine is never going to be the same again.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? Sorry to moan, I'd just like to know I'm not insane.

[MiniMarmite]

Hi ButIForgetMyself

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. It is natural to have feelings like this during pregnancy. My second trimester was fine but I've been a bit of a mess at times during my third. I think it is a reaction to contemplating such a life-changing experience and it is easy to feel that DP's life won't change much (although, of course, it will).

I can't tell you whether this is ante-natal depression though and if your feelings continue it would be worth discussing your feelings with your midwife and/or GP to see how they can help you or maybe just to put your mind at rest.

A friend of mine really went to pieces at 8 weeks, even though the baby was very much wanted, and she broke down in tears at her midwife appointment. They talked things through and she felt much better from thereon.

Everyone is different. Do talk to your DP and your carers - they are very likely to understand and want to help you.

I would also recommend booking some antenatal classes and perhaps starting some pregnancy yoga or something like that so you meet other Mum's to be. I've felt so much more confident since starting my NCT classes and meeting up with the group. You won't start them until later but it will give you something to look forward to.

Take care...