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"The evolution of mum" - anyone got the version with 4th baby included?

(3 Posts)
rainbowdays Thu 10-Jul-08 22:56:17

It makes me smile when I read it....

The evolution of mum

Your Clothes

First Baby
You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your obstetrician confirms that you are pregnant

Second Baby
You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible

Third Baby
Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes

The Baby?s Name

First Baby
You pore over baby name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favourites

Second Baby
Someone has to name their kid after your great aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

Third Baby
You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!

Preparing for the Birth

First Baby
You practice your breathing religiously

Second Baby
You don?t bother practising because you remember that last time, breathing didn?t do a thing

Third Baby
You ask for an epidural in the eighth month

The Layette

First Baby
You prewash your newborn clothes, colour coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby?s little bureau

Second Baby
You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains

Third Baby
Boys can wear pink, can?t they?


First Baby
At the first sign of distress ? a whimper, a frown ? you pick up the baby

Second Baby
You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn

Third Baby
You teach your 3 year old how to rewind the mechanical swing


First Baby
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing and Baby Story Hour

Second Baby
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics

Third Baby
You take your infant to the supermarket and the drycleaners

Going Out

First Baby
The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times

Second Baby
Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached

Third Baby
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood

At Home

First Baby
You spend a good bit of each day just gazing at your baby

Second Baby
You spend a bit of each day watching to be sure your older child isn?t squeezing, poking or hitting the baby

Third Baby
You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children

I once read a similar version with the fourth baby included, does anyone have a copy of it???

Amoral Thu 10-Jul-08 23:07:31

I read one where

Child swallows a penny

1st child
Rushed to A&E

2nd child
taken to see doctor if no appearance of penny in 3 days

3rd child
Pocket money docked by 1 penny

rainbowdays Mon 14-Jul-08 22:53:38

Love the extra one amoral!

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