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Have any of you ever decided that you don't want anymore children then changed your mind???

(26 Posts)
Blossomhill Sat 15-Jan-05 22:17:35

I am 30 and have 2 children 1 dd 5 and 1 ds 7. Currently I do not want any more children. Dh is seriously thinking of having the snip and I am happy with that. The thing is I am scared that I will change my mind and once dh has the snip it will be too late.
Has anyone changed there mind after deciding that they don't want anymore. I just don't know what to do but at the moment am 100% that I don't want anymore children but at the back of my mind is how young I am. Anyone else felt the same???

misdee Sat 15-Jan-05 22:18:20

do you feel that your family is complete, or just complete for now?

Blossomhill Sat 15-Jan-05 22:21:12

I do feel it's complete misdee for may reasons. But also feel priviliged that I can get pregnant and am worried I may change my mind. I was only 23 when I had ds and 24 when I had dd. I just don't know if I'll change my mind in a few years but at the moment it's complete. Just don;t want to regret it if dh has the snip!

aloha Sat 15-Jan-05 22:21:56

I would not take a possibly irreversible step like this at your age when you are clearly not absolutely certain. Why not have some long term-ish contraception such as the Mirena coil and revisit this in three to five year's time?

Hulababy Sat 15-Jan-05 22:22:04

Yes. Dh and I had decided, and made plans, that we would only have DD, and no other children. All out plans for the furture were based around that fact. And we still belived that until this summer.

But around September time we decided that we did want another. Or rather I decieded and Dh agreed I think it built up over the summer. Sp we have made lots of changes to our plans - selling the apartment, buying a house in a good state school cathchment, etc. and we have now been TTC for 5 months.

beansprout Sat 15-Jan-05 22:23:09

Then he shouldn't have the snip as you clearly know that you may, just may want more children in the future. There is plenty of reliable contraception around to tide you over for a few years yet. Please don't do something you already know you might regret!!

roisin Sat 15-Jan-05 22:23:30

I'm 35, dh is 37, and the boys are 5 and 7. Dh had a vasectomy 3 years ago. We both always wanted two boys (can't quite think why now!) and have never doubted that decision at all.

Obviously I can't say how I might feel a few years down the line, but so far have survived all the milestones (youngest starting school that sort of thing) with no waiver to my resolve.

I think I'm mainly a very logical person, and my reasons for wanting just two, close in age, are logical and practical; so they will always (?) outweigh any sudden hormonal or emotional urges for another.

scaltygirl Sat 15-Jan-05 22:26:41

Message withdrawn

Fimbo Sat 15-Jan-05 22:27:43

Yes in a nut shell. I had dd when I was 30 then dh's job was transferred from Scotland to England when she was 2.5 we decided not to have any more, because we were miles away from home then we both got broody to the extent he was staring at babies in prams and last year at the age of 36 I had a beautiful baby boy. I am so glad that I had him. Although I am def. stopping at 2!!

Slinky Sat 15-Jan-05 22:34:20

DH had the snip done in April 2003. We were 100% sure we didn't want anymore - and I still feel the same (good job really ).

My youngest is now at school - and I certainly didn't have any "urges" for more babies - TBH I would hate to go back to the baby/toddler days.

lucy5 Sat 15-Jan-05 22:39:54

My dd is four and I was desperate to have another child until she was 2. Then I got used to one and started feeling the opposite for the next two years. I went back to work this September and now ,I know I want another child. Unfortunately we have just moved to another country and are not 100% settled yet so its not the right time. And at 34 i am starting to feel the clock ticking. Sorry to waffle, what I wanted to say was don't do anything drastic, changing your mind is a woman's perrogative hahaha.

weightwatchingwaterwitch Sat 15-Jan-05 22:40:08

I have a 7yo ds and a 1yo dd and I'm pretty sure (99.5%) sure that I don't want any more but I still wouldn't let dp have a vastectomy yet, just in case. I'd rather wait a few years and use contraception in the meantime. And I am almost positive I don't want any more, have nightmares about it sometimes even!

bubble99 Sat 15-Jan-05 23:13:18

Many years ago when I met DH he said that he wanted to have 4 children - to which I replied "bye!" Well, it was obviously meant to be as here we are all these years later with two DS's 7 and 4 yrs and twins due anytime now . I'd never felt that my family was complete after DS2, I was a third child and 3 has always seemed a 'normal' number to me. I would wait for a few years before a snip. The success rates for reversal can be impressive depending on the surgeon and the time elapsed since the operation, but it's a major step to take when there are alternative methods of contraception around. At your age, if you are a non-smoker and without a history of DVT then you can probably safely use a contraceptive pill for a few more years. The mirena coil is another option, as scaltygirl says opinions differ on this one but I know 3 women who are currently happy with it. Like all coils there is a 3 to 4 month settling in period but if you persevere with it you may be ok. Good luck with whatever you decide. My family will definately be complete when these twins arrive and I'm booking my husband into the vets for the two brick treatment

Blossomhill Sat 15-Jan-05 23:14:46

Had my coil for 5 years and 6 months so really need to get this one out and don't want to get a new one !!!!!!

bubble99 Sat 15-Jan-05 23:18:04

Ah! You are broody methinks!

Blossomhill Sat 15-Jan-05 23:20:17

Well I'm not actually! Have had coil for over 5 years and am very fertile so worried that I might change my mind. Need to have coil out and do not want to have another coil

bubble99 Sat 15-Jan-05 23:24:42

Did you get on ok with your coil? I tried one of the conventional copper ones a couple of years ago and had very heavy bleeding, haven't tried the mirena though.

Blossomhill Sat 15-Jan-05 23:36:47

Been fine with mine. Had heavy period at frst but calmed right down. Need to sort it out though as had mine in for 5yrs and 6 months Although have been very pleased with mine Don't wnat another coil though!!!!

bubble99 Sat 15-Jan-05 23:39:42

Why don't you want another coil?

bubble99 Sun 16-Jan-05 00:21:11

If you don't mind me asking

bubble99 Sun 16-Jan-05 00:21:46

If you don't mind me asking

bubble99 Sun 16-Jan-05 00:22:15

woops

Blossomhill Sun 16-Jan-05 10:46:32

I have a lot of abdominal pain and do get re-occurent thrush and have this feeling it's all connected.
Infact I was a bit tipsy last night when I posted this So in the cold light of day I really do not want anymore children. I have got my hands full with the 2 I have got. Sometimes I have this romantic idea of having a little baby as I do love newborns! Trouble is they don't stay that way for too long do they???

albosmum Sun 16-Jan-05 11:18:06

Had one child at 26, said no more then at 35 decide to have another now dh is considering another!!

bubble99 Sun 16-Jan-05 23:59:15

Hi Blossomhill

Lucky you for being tipsy last night! Can't wait for a proper G&T session once these twins are born

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