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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Pregnancy in your 40's

78 replies

msdynamo · 20/04/2008 22:31

I have just discovered I'm 5 weeks pregnant at 44. I would love any advice from women who have been in a similar situation.

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purplegiraffe · 20/04/2008 22:39

Congratulations! I have just had my second at 41, so not far behind you.

Is this your first?

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Pablop · 20/04/2008 22:43

I was 40, congratulations msdynamo! Loved being pregnant, felt quite well throughout, had trouble sleeping in last few weeks but my bump was really big.
2 girls I know who are a lot younger than me seemed to have more problems. ie morning sickness, swollen ankles etc.

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Kaz1967 · 21/04/2008 02:07

Another over 40 (just was 40 last Aug ) Mum here there are a couple of threads you may get some ideas off. I suspect though like all Mums we are all different and feel comfortable doing things different ways

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2290/337510?ts=1208739049250

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msdynamo · 21/04/2008 07:20

Yes, it's my first. I am really excited having conceived naturally but my GP is a bit dismissive and slightly negative. Thanks for the thread, Kaz1967, it's good to know it can be done!

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shabster · 21/04/2008 07:30

I found out I was pregnant with my fourth child on my 40th birthday

It was my healthiest pregnancy. Apart from my usual morning sickness I was fine. I worked until I was 36 weeks.

Congratulations on your news - it is wonderful.

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Takenoprisoners · 21/04/2008 07:44

Congratulations - what wonderful news! I'm 30 weeks into my 2nd pregnancy at 41 years old and I feel very, very proud of myself! My two are IVF & normal pregnancies - just the usual niggles & aches etc. I sometimes wonder if the exhaustion is age-related but have come to the conclusion it is endemic with pregnancy at any age! Take care of yourself and enjoy it!

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Pablop · 21/04/2008 09:41

msdynamo, don't let your gp get you down, as you can see from the thread that Kaz1967 linked too there are a lot of older mums on mn. I was pleasantly surprised when visiting hospital for scans etc, how many older mums there actually are.

Congratulations to you too Takenoprisoners!

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msdynamo · 21/04/2008 10:11

Thank you for your positive messages. Congratulations takenoprisoners! I agree I see a lot of older mums everywhere, and its very encouraging. I don't know why my doctor was so dismissive- no examination, no test to confirm.
Is that normal?

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Blocky · 21/04/2008 10:15

Yes. Though my GP was nice enough (saw when I was about 4wks), I was quite proud of the fact of getting pregnant - and the next time I had any contact re my pg was when I met my community MW at 9wks.

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Blocky · 21/04/2008 10:16

BTW Congratulations! My friend had her first at 45 - she is my inspiration.

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TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 21/04/2008 10:39

A very good friend of mine had her first baby at 40 and her 2nd at 42. She said she found it very tiring but you just need to adapt to suit your own pregnancy needs. Tiredness in the first and last 3 months can be legendary, even for 20 year olds!

We have a few mums approaching their 50th birthdays in my DCs Reception and Year 1 classes, so they would have been 43-45yo when pregnant. So it's no longer uncommon.

I'll be 39 when I have my next DC in 5 weeks time - but given it's my 4th, it's very definitely my last!

Very best of luck with your pregnancy!

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Takenoprisoners · 21/04/2008 14:53

Yes, I think that no testing and examination from the GP is pretty standard, Msdynamo. Apart from the beginning, I didn't see my GP at all throughout the first pregnancy and it's been the same with this - although that's because I haven't had any issues to take to him (another feather in the cap for all over 40 mothers, methinks!) It's all been midwife-led. Did you get an appointment yet to see your midwife? The first appointment can vary - anything from around 6 to 9 weeks for the initial 'booking in' and form-filling.

Thank you too for the congratulations! After a winter of hiding under a full coat, I felt like I was unveiling my bump for the first time today whilst dropping off DS1 at school. I am proudly sticking my bump out and having people make way for it. I'm sure you'll be looking forward to doing the same!

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jeanjeannie · 21/04/2008 15:08

Congrats! I had first child - dd when I was 41...and now I'm expecting second dc in 6 weeks...at 42

I meet loads of older mums....even older than me and I just don't worry about it. So sorry your GP was dismissive...thankfully I've had the opposite and been told that age rarely brings complications that you wouldn't have got if you were in your teens, 20s or 30s. I run around after my 16 month old like a teenager and I'm sure I just wouldn't have had the energy (or the inclination) 10 years ago. I'm definately all the fitter for it!

Enjoy the experience...definately stick your bump out for all to see...and always treat yourself to chocolate if you need it!

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msdynamo · 21/04/2008 17:06

Thank you for your kind messages, I find them very reassuring. I felt like some kind of weirdo at my GP's, but after what you say Takenoprisoners, I think I'll try to arrange a midwife asap. I'm glad to hear you're on to your second, jeanjeannie, you must be doing something right! I am healthy and pretty youthful for my age, so I'm really looking forward to the experience. Congratulations DuchessofNorksBride and thanks for telling me about your friends. Blocky, where you in your 40's when you conceived?

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msdynamo · 21/04/2008 17:08

Thanks Pablob, it's good to know there are many of us out there!

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Blocky · 21/04/2008 18:14

I was 38 when I conceived, 39 when gave birth. My neighbour, who fell pg 4 wks before me, was 41, and a friend very recently had her first dd, age 41, and of course my 45 yr old friend,

All of them, including me to an extent, have had pretty problem free pgs, and I feel I have a lot more energy than mums 10 years my junior.
Having a full time job and a 2.5 yr old makes sure you do!

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msdynamo · 21/04/2008 21:05

That's brilliant, thanks Blocky!

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msdynamo · 22/04/2008 07:50

This may seem like a silly question but did you allow yourselves to drink a couple of cups of tea in the first trimester? Am worried about everything I read about caffeine, and have already cut out coffee, my one addiction.

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Blocky · 22/04/2008 09:00

I went off tea - and replaced that addiction with a hot chocolate one. Yum. Hot choc and pain au raisin from local coffee shop mmmmm

Back on topic - dont think a couple of cups of tea a day are going to hurt.

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Takenoprisoners · 22/04/2008 10:13

I would definitely avoid the coffee, yes. There's now much more conclusive proof against it in early pregnancy. When I did my first IVF I was advised to cut it down (I avoided it altogether), advice which had changed this time to cutting it out completely. I did, like you, allow myself a couple of cups of tea a day (it's only 20 mg of caffeine as opposed to something like 90mg for a coffee) and I personally think the minerals in tea beneficial, anyway. Since my 2nd trimester, I have enjoyed the occasional coffee if I fancied it.

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zazen · 22/04/2008 10:44

Congratulations - how very exciting for you!
There are huge advantages bing an 'older' mum. I was 36 when I had my first and am now 40 and wondering about going again.
All the talk of bumps has me a little bit broody DH would need to agree, of course!

My GP was very dismissive of me when we had our confirmatory appointment - no tests etc.. I changed GP.
I had some lovely midwives - and was fit and healthy - my last month was tough, as the weather was hot - I had feet like hobbits!

Only thing I woould do differently is to take 8oomg - 1gram Folate (B6 / Folic acid) and other B vitamins per day, as it's water soluble and can leave the body without being absorbed. Folate is important for a few things:
1 for a healthy development of the baby's spinal cord, and
2 to help your body make blood cells.
Have a chat with your midwives - there are pregnancy miltivitamins and miltiminerals available also now, which I would take, as you need to be in tip top form after the baby is born.

I wouldn't worry too much about tea and coffee - I used to drink raspberry leaf tea in the last two months to tone and strengthen the uterus, and I switched to lemon and hot water, and fennel and ginger teas as well.

Good luck bumpy ladies! I'm so excited for you! ENJOY!

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msdynamo · 22/04/2008 10:59

Hi Blocky, I seem to have gone off chocolate, something I thought would be impossible! As for drinking a couple of cups of tea, I'm glad to know that it was fine for you, Takenoprisoners.
So I shall continue to enjoy my tea in small doses.

So many risks, so many things to avoid! Today I meditated on being positive, as I feel it's important not let the books get to me!!!

Thanks for your words of encouragement Zazen.
Maybe you'll be joining us some time soon

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Blocky · 22/04/2008 11:31

Main thing is to try not to worry to much - as then you will tend to obsess about what you can and can't eat/ drink/ do! This should be a time to be enjoyed - but we are (esp older mums) bombarded with all the 'risks' associated with pg - rather than the positives.

I was told very early on not to eat too much tuna/ soft cheeses etc etc and spent a lot of time worrying. Then again my friend (45 yr old) didn't find out she was pregnant until 22 wks - told me she ate all the things she was supposed not to, and more than likely had the odd drink as well. She is now the mum of a beautiful happy and healthy 2.5 yr old.

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Takenoprisoners · 22/04/2008 12:07

Agree with Blocky - it is a positive time and should be savoured. I think it's important to try to follow healthy guidelines so that you know you are doing the best you can for you and your baby - it's the psychological factor more than anything else and try not to worry too much (easier said than done, I know).

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jules43 · 22/04/2008 12:43

Hi there

I am 43 and expecting my first baby in mid June, I have felt well the whole time. Now at 31 weeks I am feeling tired but not sure anymore then a younger Mum to be.

I am still commuting to London 3 days a week, although its getting harder to combat the rush hour on the tube.

I am still drinking tea, although thinking about the rasberry leaf tea now...

I don't think being a new Mum in your 40's is such a big deal nowadays..