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worried about stress during pregnancy (mears can u reassure me?)

(13 Posts)
misdee Mon 03-Jan-05 19:26:43

i am now 31 weeks gone. dh is back in hospital again with pneumonia (3rd time in 4 weeks), dd1 starts school weds, i have been told i have gestanional diabetes, have to have fetal cardiac scans done this pregnancy due to dh heart problems (dilated cardiomyopthy), and havent had uch chance to relax this pregnancy, and as you can tell its been very stressful at the best of times.

i am worried that all this is having a negative impact on the baby, and am also worried about going into labour early due to all the stress. please tell me if i am being paranoid.

yoyo Mon 03-Jan-05 19:46:20

Sorry to read that your DH is back in again. You have so much to deal with I totally sympathise with your anxiety. I have experienced nothing as stressful in my pregnancies so can't advise but hopefully Mears will reassure you soon.

Just wanted to keep your posting active and join with everyone else in wishing you and your husband well.

noddyholder Mon 03-Jan-05 19:57:35

hi misdee so sorry your dh is back in again.When I was pregnant with ds1 I worried non stop for the same reasons as you and although I was a wreck ds was born absolutely fine

misdee Mon 03-Jan-05 21:09:34

cheers noddy. but am stil lworried. cant stop thinking about everything and poor bubba must be getting stressed aswell.

i am also worried about the effect this is having on my 2 dd's. feel so sorry for them.

FeastofStevenmom Mon 03-Jan-05 23:10:57

hi misdee, sorry to hear about DH. My stress levels were sky high during PG (due to anxiety disorder/depression) not due to life circumstances iyswim - anyway DS is fine and is such a chilled out little fella it's untrue, and born at 39 weeks 3 days. do you think that you could get any practical support from an organisation such as Homestart? is there any support available to families of people with heart conditions?

Canadianmom Mon 03-Jan-05 23:26:52

Sorry to hear that you are experiencing so much stress. I was in a similar state with ds2. Hospitalised DH folowing accident and badly burned 2 1/2 year old DD (Christmas day 2001) and I was convinced that it would have adverse effects on the baby. I had already been a complete stress case for the first 18 weeks because of a late miscarriage before his pregnancy and then to be running to and fro with hospital visits with our 4 year old in tow it was a nightmare. BUT our son is so easy-going you would never guess that my pg was so filled with stress and anxiety. He was born at 37 weeks but I was convinced that he just wanted to see what all of the commotion was about 'on the outside'. (Oh yeah, my grandfather passed away and we also moved twice during that pregnancy.)
Keep posting here and talking about your worries as much as possible in RL to keep yourself as calm as possible.
All the best to you and yours for 2005. We are here to listen/read. Hopefully Mears will be along shortly for a professional opinion.

KateandtheGirls Mon 03-Jan-05 23:36:26

Misdee, sorry to hear you are going through so much at the moment.

My husband died in the World Trade Center when I was 11 weeks pregnant. I'm sure you can imagine the stress I was under, especially as we had no "proof" that he had died, so for several days we were hoping he would come home.

But my gynaecologist reassured me that it wouldn't affect the baby. They're amazingly resilient. And sure enough she is absolutely fine, and wasn't born till almost 40 weeks.

DelGirl Mon 03-Jan-05 23:46:43

So sorry you're going through so much at the moment Misdee. I hope your DH is soon home again/

This thread is very reassuring as I have similar fears, not helped by people telling me it won't help baby to be stressed. Looking forward to the safe arrival of my chilled out baby now

FeastofStevenmom Mon 03-Jan-05 23:54:10

i think there does seem to be a bit of a conspiracy of silence at times about depression/anxiety during PG - you do feel like the only unblooming unhappy PG woman ever, and the guilt from people's "helpful" advice only makes you feel worse. given that approx 1 in 10 women have ante-natal depression, and obviously a significant amount more have stressful things going on in there life/are stressed due to previous PG loss, there are a lot of stressed out PG women out there. it would be great if we could all live in a stress free bubble, and be treated like a queen and put our feet up during pg at home and at work, but real life does tend to intrude without causing particular probs to the baby.

rickman Tue 04-Jan-05 00:16:10

Message withdrawn

mears Tue 04-Jan-05 00:36:05

Misdee - I am so sorry to hear of the stressful time you are having. I didn't realise how unwell your DH was. As the others who have posted to reassure you on this thread have shown, babies are really resilient and develop and grow despite what is going on in the outside world. You pregnancy will most likely carry on happily to term. The person to worry about is you. Do you have people around to support you? Do you and DH have someone to talk to about his illness? It is important for you two to have good support around you to help you cope with everything that is going on. Hope your DH's pneumonia improves soon. Going to school will probably be a good thing for DD1. You may well get some time to yourself then. Definately try not to worry about your bump - it will be fine.

sallystrawberry Tue 04-Jan-05 00:59:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

misdee Tue 04-Jan-05 07:37:34

i have a midwife appointment this week, but want to have it at the ante natel clinic instead of seeing community midwife as it'll be easier to pop in and see dh before and after. must call and change it if possible.

I suffered a great deal of stress when pregnant with dd2, as thats when dh was diagnosed as well, but by the time i had to got to this stage he was pretty much feeling ok, and meds were working etc. But now he has gone downhill so much, its scary. They are hitting him with Iv antibiotics, and hoping that this time his veins wont collaspe (they had problems b4 xmas). dh isnt one to talk about things, but sometimes i just want to scream with it all.

Bubba has been kicking hard all morning, so guess s/he is doing ok. They are doing fetal cardiac scans to be safe really. i just really dont fancy a 2 hr trek into london on thurs.

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