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Exhaustion, want to start mat leave early.. any advice

(21 Posts)
thedame71 Mon 03-Jan-05 18:14:15

I'll keep this as short as I can. Pg (due March) with number 3, 2 ds (4.5 years and 2 yrs). 2yr old an absolute nightmare, trying to sleep train again - numerous night wakings, screaming etc...

I have been ill since October with colds, coughs, chest infections etc... just totally run down and I never manage to recover as I haven't had an unbroken nights sleep for months.

Anyway I'm not on here to moan, my question is... I am due to stop work at the end of January and start mat leave. I have given them the proper written notice with date I intend to start.

The thing is I just don't feel I can do another month. I am due back tomorrow and I would really like to tell them I am finishing at the end of the week.

What can I do? Is this possible to do this without the correct notice or should I go to the doctors and get them to back me up.

Any advice would be appreciated.

xxx

misdee Mon 03-Jan-05 18:15:51

Not too sure, but i think your gp may sign you off early if u really beg them. your palce of work then may 'force' you to start maternity leave early. which is what u want really

Twiglett Mon 03-Jan-05 18:17:49

If I was you, I would go to see your doctor .. tell him/ her how you're feeling and the stress levels and ask if it would be possible to go on sick leave and would they write you a note

if your employers are decent then they will put you on sick pay till end jan when your maternity kicks in (so that way you won't lose out)

alternatively .. speak to your company and say that you are really finding it difficult and would like to bring forward your leave ... ask them (rather than tell them) if it would be possible to start from now .. or if not how early you can

it all depends on when you want to go back

Lonelymum Mon 03-Jan-05 18:17:59

I am very out of date with this having had my first baby 8 years ago and been mainly a SAHM since, but I vaguely remember that if I took a certain number of days off due to pregnancy related things (ie extreme tiredness) my maternity leave automatically started. Does this apply to you? Are you planning on going back to work afterwards?

pixiefish Mon 03-Jan-05 18:20:35

If you are off un to 11 weeks before your edd then your employer is within his rights to start your maternity leave. Just get your doctor to sign you off- tell your employer thats what you're doing and hopefully they'll be fine about it. Good luck

NewbarnsleygirlWalliams Mon 03-Jan-05 18:25:28

I did this just before I turned 28 weeks. I just called Boss and told her how it was and she said fine leave everything to me!
I think when it comes to pregnancy employers don't really have a leg to stand on, it's a fine line for them.

thedame71 Mon 03-Jan-05 18:33:19

Thanks Ladies

I am intending to return to work at some point but not this job. Although I still have a small amount of loyalty to them. I think my best bet is to go in tomorrow tell them the situation and negotiate.

Will let you know how it goes! x

evian Mon 03-Jan-05 18:42:23

I wasdue to go maternity leave with dd at 36 weeks but from 12 weeks i suffered reallybad - i got to 32 weeks working and the doctor advised me to pack up work.

I went into work on the monday expalined the situation and left that friday with no illfeeling from either or us.

sparklymieow Mon 03-Jan-05 18:47:09

I was due to work till 32 weeks but went into premature labour at 31 weeks with DS (they managed to stop it) The hospital said I couldn't go back to work, and I had a weeks sick before my Mat. leave. My work were fine with it.

chatee Mon 03-Jan-05 18:57:41

check out the maternity alliance website as i'm sure they can't enforce maternity before 36 weeks now.I was similar to you last year and felt guilty with respect to leaving earlier than planned as it kind of left them in the lurch(iykwim)and i started my maternity leave after 2 weeks holiday-WISH i had read up about all my rights as i deffo would have taken the time off as sick up until 36 weeks, there is no sentiment in business never mind who you are.........
take care of yourself lots of love xxxx

popsycal Mon 03-Jan-05 19:13:27

You have 2 choices really hun. Approach your doc and tell him.her. Might get written off and as you are no where near 36 weeks yet, work cant force you t start our maternity early....

or speak to your employers and they may agree to start maternity early rather than have you go on the sick - doubt they would say no since the alternative is sick leave.

I would go to docs first
xx

popsycal Mon 03-Jan-05 19:14:47

chattee os right - work cannot force you to start maternity until 36 weeks preg now (i have looked into this - have been on sick since 20 weeks myself and started maternity yesterday at 30 weeks)
If doc will sign you off, then you are on sick leave NOT maternity - dont let work tell you otherwise

fisil Mon 03-Jan-05 19:14:54

thedame71, I don't have the answers, but I am having exactly the same thoughts as you at the moment, so I just want to give you a hug and tell you that you are not alone, and to wish you luck.

I had been thinking of working until 39 weeks as I know I'll go overdue, and I got very down with all the waiting last time, and want to avoid the same again this time. However, I am also due back at work tomorrow, I'm only 24 weeks, but not sleeping, fear I'm getting SPD, and have already had some time off because I've been feeling very down again. I just know I will get tearful if I push myself too hard, or push push push and end up going out with a bang - neither would be very kind to my employer, so maybe being mature and going early will be the right thing for me.

I've gone on a bit - but I just want you to know you're not alone.

thedame71 Mon 03-Jan-05 19:55:56

It is hard isn't it but if you can't at least try and put yourself first now, when is it ever going to happen? xxxx

Thanks for the latest advice, will check mat all website tonight and make an appt for the doctors tomorrow.

Will let you know how I get on

SabineJ Tue 04-Jan-05 13:26:10

Hi thedame71,

I am in a similar sotuation than you and I am currently negociating with my company to take any holidays that I am entitled to up front. In this way, I know I can can take my 3 weeks holidays first and then strat normal maternity leave.
You should be entitled to about 12 days for the maternity leave, plus the bank holidays so it is about 3 weeks. Do you think that would work for you ?

Prufrock Tue 04-Jan-05 17:13:46

Just reenforcing the advice that chatee gave - they cannot force you to start maternity leave before the date you have already gien, even if you are off with pregnancy related illness. So all you need to do is get doc to sign you off sick.

fisil Wed 05-Jan-05 07:30:41

Prufrock, you seem to be in the know. My GP told me yesterday that she would sign me off sick nearer the date if I wanted. But she told me to check with social security about whether I qualify. I looked on the maternity alliance website and couldn't see any problem at all. What do you think she was referring to?

hoxtonchick Wed 05-Jan-05 08:51:34

no experience of this fisil (i'll get back to you in a few months....), but i suspect it's just because gps don't have time to keep up with small changes in the legislation. i'd trust the power of mumsnet!

thedame71 Fri 07-Jan-05 19:11:03

Hi everyone.

Well I went into work this week and I realise that I should have gone with my instincts - its been an absolute nightmare for lots of reasons.

I have gone to the doc's today who said they will sign me off for 10 days, after this I just need another 10 days sign off which I'm sure I will get.

There are two major things I need to hand over, one next week and one the week after so I will go in for one day to do that.

I am so relieved. I couldn't sleep last night, was so stressed.

xxx

Spacecadet Sat 08-Jan-05 16:44:21

You can start mat leave at 29 weeks and you are allowed to bring the date forward if you give your employer reasonable notice, you could on the other hand ask your gp to sign you off sick until you wish to start your mat leave, however if you are off work with a preg related illness after 34 weeks your employer can insist you start your mat leave.

Prufrock Sat 08-Jan-05 22:16:13

Not really fisil. I know the law on not being forced to start maternity changed at the same time OML changed to 6 months from 4, but not sure why SS would get involved - unless because your employer may eb entitled to calim back SSP from Govt? So you would have to satisfy DWP rules on getting SSP? (If there are any?)

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