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Embarrasing pregnancy fear of hubby

(27 Posts)
pookey Wed 22-Dec-04 19:26:38

Hi this is my first message and its very silly!! I have been reading my partner bits from all my baby books and he hasn't been paying a blind bit of notice The only thing he has heard and is now concerned about is that one of the writers advised fathers that they could help during labour by cleaning their partners bum if they poo during labour !! Do other partners have the same concerns?

Tinker Wed 22-Dec-04 19:29:37

I think teh midwife would probably do that really. Don't think he'd be expected to do it.

merrymarthamoo Wed 22-Dec-04 19:30:09

The writer is mad! The Midwife will sort you out if you poo in labour - your dh will not be expected to do it! What kind of crazy book is that - bin it immediately.

Welcome to MN, btw

xmascaroltygirl Wed 22-Dec-04 19:31:08

Hi and welcome, Pookey. And congrats on the pregnancy!

There was a thread not so long ago about how common pooing in labour actually is - I'm not very experienced on here so can't post you a link to it, but hopefully someone will be along in a minute who can!

I have never heard the notion that a dh might wipe their partner's bum - not surprised yours has picked up on that one! There is no way I'd dream of letting mine do that and he needn't worry - it isn't standard practice as far as I know!

kalex Wed 22-Dec-04 19:31:14

BIIN THE BOOK. Welcome to the wonderful world of MN

OhComeLetUsADiorHim Wed 22-Dec-04 19:32:35

It's the one thing about your pregnancy and labour that the poor love can grasp at the moment. Not many men can cope with much else I'm afraid

Don't worry, tried to post a link to a thread, but it didn't work. Go to 'search', and select the 'childbirth' forum, and the word 'poo'. You'll find a thread on pooing in labour which is very interesting.

merrymarthamoo Wed 22-Dec-04 19:35:49

Though you know, there is plenty of potential there for freaking out your partner - make up bits from the baby books as you read them out to him...

"Darling, it says here that my labour will be easier if you are naked throughout, wear bells on your fingers, and chant "" in a reassuring tone of voice."

"Sweetheart, it says in this book that I musn't do any cooking or housework at all during pregnancy as it can be very disturbing for the baby."

TheCattleWereLowryn Wed 22-Dec-04 19:41:13

LOL! I misread the title and thought that you had developed a fear of your hubby due to your being pregnant!
I had visions of you hiding behind the sofa screaming, get away from me you beast at your poor partner!

giraffeINAMANGERski Wed 22-Dec-04 19:45:25

i thought that too cattle!
Ugh- not surprised he's concerned if the book suggests that- hardly a bonding activity is it!
AFAIK the midwife would just whip it away as soon as it appeared and would certainly not draw attention to the poo by asking your dp to clear it up! Ha! Ha ha ha ha!(not laughing at you, just at the idea of the MW asking him if he wanted to wipe!)
I'm dying to know, what book was it? I bet everyone else wants to know too.

giraffeINAMANGERski Wed 22-Dec-04 19:45:45

lol mmm!

xmashampermunker Wed 22-Dec-04 19:50:45

Lowryn, I thought the same from the thread title!

Welcome to MN Pookey! I don't think you've got anything to worry about as far as your DH wiping your bum (unless he specially wants to...!) - it's not something that the midwife will expect. You may well not poo in labour anyway, I didn't.

DH wasn't interested in bits out of pg books either, but he's the best dad I know. He's just bathed and is currently reading bedtime stories to DS (8.5 months) while I MN briefly Some men just can't grasp the 'unborn baby' thing - I know DH couldn't. But as soon as he was born, that was it - instant love.

Anyway (before I get too gooey!), welcome!

JJ Wed 22-Dec-04 19:59:17

Here's the thread pookey. Hope that helps! Good luck and welcome to mumsnet.

TwasTheNightBeforeCatbert Wed 22-Dec-04 20:32:32

One of the pregnancy books I DID like was the Vicki Iovine one "Best friends guide to pregnancy" and she talks about how through each of her (three? Four???) pregnancies, her husband was noted for his complete disinterest in her state (and with each successive pregnancy was more of a "oh god - here we go with the pregnancy woes again!!!" kind of husband, but she stresses that this is quite normal, and has never stopped him being overwhelmed by each birth and a completely fab daddy!

Just thought I'd share that.

As for the wiping your bottom!!!!!! For goodness sake. I've never heard such baloney!

Even if my MOTHER was attending the birth, I wouldn't let her wipe my bottie! And she's probably the only person in the world who has experience of doing it!

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas Wed 22-Dec-04 20:35:58

Just a thought, but he is going to wipe baby's bottom isn't he? If I were a dad-to-be, I would worry far more about seeing my wife in pain than I would the thought that I might have to wipe her bottom. It isn't that awful a thing to do, is it? Anyway, as everyone else has said, he won't have to and you probably won't poo.

SnowmAngeliz Wed 22-Dec-04 21:13:56

The thought of dp doing that, (can't even say it!!!!!) fills me with dread!
I'd bloody kill him if he tried!
I didn't poo in labour and have it all to do again in a few months and have no intention of pooing then either

Welcome to mumsnet +

morningpaper Wed 22-Dec-04 21:15:54


Tell him that it would be helpful if you could tie some strong rope to his scrotum and when you got a contraction, you could pull on it so that he sympathized.

Frankly unless you are planning on giving birth in the back of your car 200 miles away from civilisation, I think he is safe on the Andrex front.

pookey Wed 22-Dec-04 21:33:14

DP (cool i wasnt sure what to call him, we got engaged on friday but DF sounds ridic) is so relieved the MW wont think he is a bad future father if he doesn't wipe my bum.

The book is my pregnancy bible and its quite good but did make it sound like I would be throwing up, urinating and 'moving bowels' throughout labour - I was convinced it must happen to almost every one! They have a section for fathers and that is where most of the advice on the subject was, maybe the writer is trying to scare men away from the delivery room??

DP is a little worried now though that i am now going to spend all my spare time on MN finding new ways to scare him! merrymarthamoo your evil!! Have to admit I told him earlier that it is very common for pg women to suddenly become very forgetful and untidy and give up house work because ones mind is concentrating on sending instructions to the baby about how to grow etc - not sure he bought it though !!

I will go and check the poo strand now, thanks for all the funny messages and reassurance !

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas Wed 22-Dec-04 22:23:41

I've had four children and have never pooed or thrown up during labour but did once wee. Oops!

xmascaroltygirl Wed 22-Dec-04 22:24:35

Never pooed, never weed, but threw up both times.

artyjoe Wed 22-Dec-04 22:33:51

Only two days ago my next door neighbour told me that her DH wiped her poo away when she was in labour, he seemed quite pleased with himself as she told me...needless to say I was horrified and I could visibly see my own DP's toes curl up

sleepdeprived Wed 22-Dec-04 22:39:26

pookey, tell us the name of the book!

Lowryn, you had me literally lol (though not literally pmsl) and I still am

pookey Wed 22-Dec-04 22:42:34

Oh god ... I just read the poo strand . Don't mind as much about throwing up or weeing but runny poo and a waterbirth, gross.

pookey Wed 22-Dec-04 22:46:28

The book is called your pregnancy bible, I put my pregnancy bible by mistake!!

sleepdeprived Wed 22-Dec-04 22:48:30

I pooed by the way. It was the least of my worries ...

scubamum Thu 23-Dec-04 10:37:34

I tried to go for a wee, but couldn't. Shortly after my waters broke, then I weed (contractions were v close together by then). I pooed, and baby pooed as she came out. All very messy, but did I care or really notice? no, I have a lovely baby to show for it and MW did all the clearing up

ohh and I was sick several times in early labour

She was too quick for water birth, but again MW will clear up any poos

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