Feline jealousy(5 Posts)
I'm due in April, and though it may sound ridiculous one of my main concerns is how the cat is going to react...
He is a 12 year old, part Siamese who has never had to deal with any competition from other cats, very soppy and quite human-identified and high-maintenance. He is going to freak out, go into a permanent sulk, and at the very least get stress-related cystitis. The only good idea I have had so far is to get in a supply of catnip so he'll be so out of it he won't notice the new arrival...
Does anyone else have any top tips? And,yes, I'm sure that when it happens the cat will be at the bottom of my list of worries, but it is making both my dp and myself a bit anxious. Thanks!
hi I've got 3 high maintenance moggies and was also worried about this. However they really don't like the baby and do everything to keep out her way it's as if she doesn't exist to them. They are lower down the priority list now but I think they have accepted this and we still make an effort to make time for them at least once a day.
They were more freaked out by the amount fo new things (pram, cot etc) than the actual baby.
I'm sure things will change again when she can "get" at them.
I know Siamese's can be ultra highly strung and very human in many ways. Read once that they can apparently be trained to use a loo! Bizarre
My cat used to be the apple of my eye, and so I was completely unprepared for the strength of my maternal protective instincts when dd was born because I went completely off him - couldn't even bear to look at him. Think I was so sleep deprived tht I was almost hallucinating because his canines just seemed really exagerrated and he looked so dirty and predatory! VEry strange.
A few tips would be:
if cat sleeps in your room, start shutting your bedroom door before baby is born and also keep the nursery door permanently shut so your cat gets used to not having access.
They say with dogs you should send home with dh before you leave hospital something that smells of the baby so they can get used to the scent. I didn't bother with our cat because he's just a big fat mog (much loved again now ) but may be worth it.
Get dh to lavish as much attention on the cat as possible before and after so that your lack of attention isn't such a deprivation.
I didn't bother with cat nets over the cot because our cat weighed about a stone (he's big boned!) and I just had visions of him trampolining down onto the baby, so just kept the door shut and made sure cat not in room when leaving dd for naps.
I'm sure he'll get used to the change in the pecking order eventually. OUr's did, but he's a bit dopey really and placid as anything. So much so that was also have 2 new kittens now...
There's a plug in diffuser you can buy at vets called Feliway - it's used in strssful situations for cats and releases things called pheromones which are supposed to be like those smells from the mother when she's bringing up her kittens.
It's used for lots of behavioural problems in cats and i've known it to ba a big help in a lot of situations - i work in a vets - there's also a leaflet the cat protection league have called cats and babies (something like that) .
I have 4 cats and was very anxious about the whole baby thing - unfortunately miscarried recently but my cats are so important to me i'm not sure how we'll all cope if it happens again !!
Hope it works fine for you .
Hi Vic I worried about this too. The Feliway that Cosybear mentioned is definitely worth a try if your cat does get stressed. It helped our cat (she's very needy and attention seeking at the best of times, bless her, and did find it hard to adjust). I did try very hard to devote some time to her every day but it isn't easy with a newborn to look after. We bought her a catnip mat so she had somewhere of her own to sleep (baby was in our room so poor cat was evicted from her usual sleeping place too). She still likes the mat now, nearly 18 months later.
You may be in a better position having a Siamese though, from what my mother tells me of our cats when my sisters and I were little. Siamese are so affectionate and intelligent, your cat may 'adopt' the baby and work everything out a lot faster than my current moggy. Fingers crossed!
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