No sex drive

(13 Posts)
LCL88 Wed 13-Oct-21 17:48:28

Hello. This is probably a really trivial question however it's something that's really bothering me. I am in my second trimester and I have little to no sex drive. It's only really changed since I hit about the 13/14 week mark. I have no idea if this is normal or not? I have ptsd and have other mh issues which my husband is very supportive of but I'm wondering if what I'm experiencing is normal in pregnancy or whether it's something wrong with just me? I just have no desire to do it and can't be bothered, I know that sounds terrible but the exhaustion is still bad and I'm not sure where to turn about this. Thought I'd put it out there and see if anyone has experienced the same. I would be so grateful for any feedback. Thank you in advance

OP’s posts: |
NinaJames Wed 13-Oct-21 18:01:57

Literally not had sex since we conceived 😂😂 well once or twice ... I also have no desire at all. I'm 13 weeks now and couldn't think of anything worse tbh!!! I find it uncomfortable as it all feels different. Also, with the extra discharge I just feel horrible and dirty!!!! I don't think we're the only ones - although my partner is begging for it!! Xx

LCL88 Wed 13-Oct-21 18:10:30

@NinaJames I'm glad I'm not the only one! And my husband is begging for it as well and just adds to the difficulty of saying I don't feel like it. I feel mine has just vanished. I don't know what's caused me to be anxious about it but after the last time I got a bit of spotting and that's put the fear in me that it could happen again. And I know spotting is normal as spoke to my midwife but I know what I'm like and I'll worry all over again. Im 16 weeks and it's just gone out of the window. I don't think it helps I feel bloated and sore boobs etc too so it makes u feel uncomfortable. I feel very guilty moaning about such a trivial thing because we are so lucky to be able to have conceived but it's like a wall has gone up and I don't know how to put it down again! Xx

OP’s posts: |
Blxo94 Wed 13-Oct-21 18:13:40

20 weeks +4 here. Had sex twice since I peed on the stick (first trimester)!! The thought of sex right now is the worse thing ever, I'm so off it! It's completely normal. I have pleasured myself a few times but any sexual stuff apart from that for me right now is a no go! Just explain to your husband that it's not him, it's just the joys of pregnancy. Woman can go one way or the other x

Redpanda21 Wed 13-Oct-21 18:14:50

I’m 22 weeks and had it twice since conceiving, maybe 3 times. I was petrified of having another miscarriage.

Not feel very sexual at all tbh or cuddly. Genuinely feeling sorry for my husband.

NinaJames Wed 13-Oct-21 18:25:20

Blxo94

20 weeks +4 here. Had sex twice since I peed on the stick (first trimester)!! The thought of sex right now is the worse thing ever, I'm so off it! It's completely normal. I have pleasured myself a few times but any sexual stuff apart from that for me right now is a no go! Just explain to your husband that it's not him, it's just the joys of pregnancy. Woman can go one way or the other x



How strange - I don't mind pleasuring myself but the thought of sex is a complete no go!!!! x

julzx Wed 13-Oct-21 18:44:17

We didn't much beginning and into 2nd trimester, my boyfriend was petrified and because he was uncomfortable it made me uncomfortable, however recently in the last month or so we have started having sex again regularly and it feels good just to be close to him again he is actually surprised as i have a bump, and in the last week or so the bump is really getting in the way so going to have to think outside the box for different ways.
I didnt think we would both be in to it at this point, but as i said it just feels nice to be close to him in that way again, we are also very aware one of these times could be our last for a few months lol!

Advertisement

LCL88 Wed 13-Oct-21 19:00:35

We did it quite a lot first trimester but Iv suddenly hit this wall where I can't think of anything worse. I feel for my husband because it's not because I don't love him I just don't feel like it and as much soul searching as I do I can't figure out a reason why and that's the most frustrating thing! I need to feel the closeness and i feel insecure when we aren't intimate but as I said I'm just at a brick wall which says sex no way.... it also hurts a little more than before I feel pregnant. I haven't pleasured myself either as I just don't have that desire. Should I be worried about this too?!

OP’s posts: |
LavenderBlue95 Wed 13-Oct-21 19:05:21

I didn’t have sex once in my second trimester and the only reason I did in my 3rd was because I was desperate towards the end and tried every wives take there was to bring on labour grin

boymum88 Wed 13-Oct-21 20:27:39

Didn't have sex for the whole of my last pregnancy, didn't feel like it in the first trimester then was on medical pelvic for the rest of it, tbh it didn't bother me as had no sex drive and a high risk preg so we were more concerned at getting a full term pregnancy. Wasn't even allowed to do myself, did try and give Dh the odd bj when I had the energy. Then after ds was born think it's was a good couple of months before we had sex. It's totally normal to have no sex drive but it's also totally normal to have a high sex drive

LCL88 Wed 13-Oct-21 21:30:02

Thanks all for replying. So I don't need to worry about having no sex drive? I keep thinking that's it's me but maybe it's just the pregnancy?!

OP’s posts: |
Dipsydoodlenoodle Thu 14-Oct-21 10:12:31

LCL88

Thanks all for replying. So I don't need to worry about having no sex drive? I keep thinking that's it's me but maybe it's just the pregnancy?!

No need to worry at all.

Hormones affect us all in different ways.

expectinglittlebear Thu 14-Oct-21 10:20:32

I am the same. I am 24+4 today and I think we have DTD about 3-4 times max since about 4 weeks pg when we found out. I have no desire to have sex or get intimate, no desire to climax, and no desire to be cuddly. I try and push myself to have the willpower to at least make my DH climax, as I genuinely feel awful for him haha! (We both have quite a high sex drive before pregnancy) - but even that feels like a mission.

Everything aches, I feel the most unattractive I have ever felt, I am constantly on a rotation of tiredness, hunger, nausea, tiredness, hunger, nausea etc. So intimacy is the last thing on my mind - thankfully DH is very understanding!

Hormones are funny old things smile

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in