9 M/O Not sleeping

[tomassymonds]

Hi!

My first post here so nice to meet everyone

We have a 9 month old little boy, Harlan

Harlan slept like a clock from around 6 weeks until between 7 and 8 months. He would go to sleep at 7, wake once per night for a feed around 2/3am then sleep until 7am. We thought we had nailed it! LOL

Somewhere between 7 and 8 months Harlan started waking continuously through the night, it is generally every hour. His night time routine is the same. Bath at 18:30, wrapped up warm and get dressed for bed. Harlan is breastfed only, he used to feed directly from mums breast but to rule out not feeding enough Mum has been expressing into a bottle and I will feed him. He will take anywhere from 6 - 8 Oz before going to bed.

He wakes crying each time and there is nothing I can do to settle him Maybe 1 in 10 times I can settled him but every other time he will only settle on Mums breast. We know he's not hungry and he is just looking for comfort.

At the moment, he is waking up between 8-12 times per night and once 5am hits thats it hes awake

Please can someone give some advice

Thank you

#Verytireddad

[NigellaSeed]

My DS woke every 2 hours from birth to about 8 months. That's when I stopped feeding him at night. Then if he woke it took my DP 2 hours of rocking him to get him back to sleep. But he's only wake once per night. After about a fortnight, he started sleeping through.

We never let him cry it out, and he didn't like the pick up, put down method at all, so rocking is all we had. He doesn't take a dummy.

Could you try stopping the night feeds? You'll have a fair few rough nights though so pick a time that works for being a complete zombie!

Good luck.

[NigellaSeed]

Also, try offering water from a sippy cup when Harlan wakes

[Margo34]

Sounds like he might have hit the 8m sleep regression and it also sounds like he dodged the 4m sleep regression!

Has he started crawling and rolling and sitting and teething recently? My 8m old started practising their new skills at night, we're sitting tight and weathering the storm. Now we're back to 2 wake ups at night.

FTM of entirely breastfed baby (no bottles) that won't settle at all for dad and never has. It's exhausting.

I wouldn't stop night feeds yet personally until baby is at least 12m-18m as they clearly still need it and it would probably be more traumatised!

Is bed-sharing an option when baby wakes at 5am just to get a little more rest all round?

[tomassymonds]

@Margo34

Sounds like he might have hit the 8m sleep regression and it also sounds like he dodged the 4m sleep regression!

Has he started crawling and rolling and sitting and teething recently? My 8m old started practising their new skills at night, we're sitting tight and weathering the storm. Now we're back to 2 wake ups at night.

FTM of entirely breastfed baby (no bottles) that won't settle at all for dad and never has. It's exhausting.

I wouldn't stop night feeds yet personally until baby is at least 12m-18m as they clearly still need it and it would probably be more traumatised!

Is bed-sharing an option when baby wakes at 5am just to get a little more rest all round?

He has been crawling for the past few weeks

He wakes us up to see him stood up in his cot peering over at us, its cute but quite creepy!

We are thinking of trying him in his own room. He had one sleep over at his Nans and he only woke twice all night then as soon as he came home it was back to 8-10 times.

His top 2 and bottom 2 teeth are through, although his top 2 have only broken through last few days

We have tried the bed-sharing at 5am (and its nearly 5am on the dot everyday!) but he is completely wide awake and climbing over us LOL

He will then have a nap about 9am, (30-45 mins) and a nap then around 11 and 2. They vary in length from 30 minutes to an hour

[NigellaSeed]

I don't think it's fair to say you shouldn't cut out night feeds this soon and also advocate sleeping next to your baby in a bed, that's very dangerous.

[tomassymonds]

@NigellaSeed

Also, try offering water from a sippy cup when Harlan wakes

Our little one also wont take a dummy!

I do try and get him down without being fed but exhaustion takes over and we just pop him back on the breast for comfort. he only feeds for a few minutes then back to sleep

We have talked about cutting out feeding at night, problem is as he is in our room he just stands up in his crib and sees mum.

I think we will try him in his own room and see if not seeing mum will help!

He wont take water during the night unfortunately we have tried

[NigellaSeed]

I think for us, it's been hard because it does mean the other parent has to do all of the night waking. I felt very guilty knowing my DP was up with DS for hours. But I also did all the feeding from 0-8m so I guess I earned a break.

There's no harm in continuing to feed at night, this is just what worked for us, and it did seriously work.

I hope you find a technique that cracks it for you and best wishes and zzzzz's

[Eviethyme]

Is he eating enough proper solid food during the day?

Might just be the regression... Its painful

[miltonj]

It's absolutely fine to stop feeding in the night at this age. Your son will get the hang of it after a while and learn how to sleep without milk snd you'll all get more sleep! Hopefully. Also it is just a phase snd before you know it your son will grown out of it on his own, so if your wife doesn't want to stop noghtfeeding she doesn't have to. In my experience, babies sleep changes so much in the first year.

Off topic but a previous poster mentioned that it's dangerous to sleep in bed with your baby. While I absolutely hate co sleeping and it wasn't for me, I don't think it's fair to say that it's dangerous (if not a smoker, drug user or drunk m) especially for a baby of 9 months. It really does work for some parents. Personally for me it meant the baby got more sleep but I got less!

[Margo34]

@NigellaSeed

I don't think it's fair to say you shouldn't cut out night feeds this soon and also advocate sleeping next to your baby in a bed, that's very dangerous.

I don't see anyone advocating bed-sharing amongst any of these comments, just a range of options for the OP to consider. The OP will need to make their own informed parenting choice on it, as we all do. Flat out saying that "it's dangerous" is your opinion and not helpful or informative.

Check out Safe 7 and Lullaby Trust for more information on safe bed-sharing.

Also, I didn't once say the OP shouldn't cut out nighfeeds. I said I wouldn't stop night feeds personally yet, which means for me and for my LO. Again, the OP will make their own informed choice!

OP I hope you find some rest soon.