Are your partners allowed to attend the scans ?

(19 Posts)
mabel12345 Sun 10-Jan-21 13:46:47

I have 20 week scan on Tuesday in Jessops Hospital in Sheffield and I am really really anxious that they won’t allow my partner in...they have updated their website around Christmas and said they are working on allowing parents from January. When I called them last week to ask, they backed off and said “no” again sad I am heartbroken as it’s our first baby. We can afford a private scan but I just feel it’s not the same ? My partner wanted this baby so much, I feel that for fathers it’s so important to see their babies on a screen as it’s the only way they can bond with babies before birth. Were your partners allowed to go with you?

OP’s posts: |
3rdtimelucky2019 Sun 10-Jan-21 13:49:43

They've asked hospitals to make it possible where they can. My local one hadn't changed at my 12 week scan in December and said they were awaiting screens etc for the scanning rooms so couldn't put a time scale on it.

I honestly found experiences at private scans better anyway (depending on who you go with).

movingonup20 Sun 10-Jan-21 14:01:06

Our local hospital is live streaming the scan, they are suggesting partners can watch in the car park - if they need to do additional scanning aka they are worried about something they are then invited into the building cue major worries. But it's an unprecedented pandemic in modern times, seeing a scan because it is nice doesn't come into the equation

Opticabbage Sun 10-Jan-21 14:01:29

Ours are allowed for 20 week scan only, but honestly, it's not the only way for them to bond.

SH2021 Sun 10-Jan-21 14:02:10

@mabel12345 hello, I live in wales and my husband was allowed for both of my scans thankfully but only for the last 5 minutes and had to stand by the door. My friend who lives just over the border in England wasn't allowed her husband at 12 weeks but was at 20 weeks. It varies for each hospital.

We also booked a private scan to find out the gender and honestly it was so much nicer than NHS. The room had mood lighting and nice music and my husband sat next to me and held my hand. I didn't feel rushed and they talked through all the different things they were looking at. We also got loads of digital photos and 4 printed off (which we could choose) if you can afford a private scan I would recommend it either way as it was so lovely. I'm currently 23 weeks and have booked another private scan at 26 weeks as we enjoyed it so much smile x

Nat4392 Sun 10-Jan-21 14:52:56

I’m Manchester area and DH has been allowed in for the last 5 minutes of both the 12 week and 20 week scans.

C0NNIE Sun 10-Jan-21 15:08:59

It’s not the only way that fathers can bond. What do you think happened for the thousands of years that there were no scans and fathers were not present at the birth ? Did no fathers love their children before 1970?

Stop telling yourself nonsense like this or you will become unhappy. You have chosen to have a baby in a pandemic and the most important thing is that you are safe and baby is safe.

Do not spend your time fantasising about your perfect pregnancy, birth and maternity leave and then become angry and bitter because you don’t get your dream.

Things are different now because of Covid - you need to focus on the good stuff and let the bad bits go.

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ivfbeenbusy Sun 10-Jan-21 15:12:09

Still not allowed at mine and to be honest whilst it was recommended that hospitals allow it that was before the massive increase in cases

Best will in the world he isn't going to "bond" by looking at a screen.....they just take a lot of measurements at it that's it

Livingmagicallyagain Sun 10-Jan-21 15:13:19

Not allowed, but hasn't affected his bond or experience at all, and kept the staff safe so it was ok.

We got bad news at a scan with our pregnancy earlier in the year but DH was supporting me at the other end of the phone and the staff were great, so again it didn't affect the situation.

As it's a medical appointment it actually feels more reassuring they are taking steps to stay safe, and it's much calmer in the waiting room etc.

I hope it goes well for you.

Skyla01 Sun 10-Jan-21 15:25:10

I'm in Scotland. Partner wasn't allowed to my first scan back in the summer but has been allowed at all since. In my hospital current policy is partners can go to all scans/ appointments now.

I would try not to worry too much about it. Lots of things have changed due to covid and there isn't much point dwelling on what we can't control.

MrsB2019x Sun 10-Jan-21 15:28:22

Mine wasn’t allowed to my 5 week and 8 week scans at EPU but as it stands he will be allowed to attend 12 and 20 weeks as long as the guidance doesn’t change again 🤞 we’re in Hampshire

Sixpencefaux Sun 10-Jan-21 15:38:11

My husband has been allowed to both 12 week, 20 week and growth scans. He isn’t allowed to MAC or to the labour ward. During labour he can come in when i am in a private room at 4cm dilated.

Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails Sun 10-Jan-21 19:25:17

No they are not so we did a private scan at 9 weeks and am having one next week when I will be 17ish.

I'm not bothered. The rooms are the size of a cupboard and it would be impossible to socially distance. It's justified.

EveHen Sun 10-Jan-21 22:02:39

Yes on Fri at Royal Berks (20 weeks). Also attended amnio 5 weeks prior

star1459 Sun 10-Jan-21 22:03:58

No mine hasn't been allowed to any but I think it does depend on the hospital

amberob89 Sun 10-Jan-21 22:56:09

I'm Newcastle and my partner can attend all scans my midwife has told me

GiveMeCamembert Mon 11-Jan-21 10:23:16

I'm in Northumberland and my partner is allowed to attend the 12 and 20 week scans, but not appointments. It's our first baby and we had a miscarriage earlier in the year so I would be very upset if he couldn't. Some of the comments you've received haven't been very sympathetic but I completely understand your disappointment.

Seeing your baby for the first time is a special moment, it's a shame you won't get to do it at the same time and I know you think a private scan won't be the same, but it'll still be your partner's first chance to see the baby and will be special for him.

As for bonding, there are still lots of ways he can do that. Missing the first scan won't have an impact on his relationship with the baby.

Parkandride Mon 11-Jan-21 11:14:11

You're totally justified in feeling disappointed, I really appreciated him at my 20 week after not being allowed in at 12.

But please don't worry about bonding, once he can feel kicks it will help, get an app to read out development updates each week, look at baby names, see what interests him in terms of researching baby stuff - mine loves a Which report, comparing potential nurseries websites, and read the full car seat instruction manual which is no mean feat! He can talk to bump etc, there's loads of ways to involve him flowers

Otocinclus Mon 11-Jan-21 11:40:14

My partner has been allowed in 12 and 20 week, and a growth scan. Just get the private scan if they don't let him in, it's really not worth stressing about.

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