Boy names, opinionated family

(25 Posts)
Evey43 Sat 09-Jan-21 16:54:44

So I recently found out we’re having a boy which I am super excited about. The only thing I am struggling with is what to call this little lovely. I had a few girls names I really liked but I’m finding it hard to find a boys name I love.

In addition (and the real problem), when just casually talking about names with my family they just shoot down anything I suggest e.g I mentioned I like Rupert and the response was ‘oh no please don’t call my grandchild/nephew that!’. Giggling amongst one another. Similarly I liked Seth during my first pregnancy, which we later found was a girl, and it has become a running joke for 4 years!!! When talking about names they’ll comment ‘not ssssssseth then?’. I know there is nothing wrong with either of those.

Honestly they should just grow up and I have no issues with telling them to, but I don’t want them essentially ‘tainting’ the name we finally choose. My husband and I are actually warming to the name Bruce, but I know exactly how that’ll go down. Ugh!!!

Just looking to vent, anyone in a similar position with family and any thoughts.


OP’s posts: |
ScottishStardust Sat 09-Jan-21 16:58:31

I like both names and both have been on our list at some point. They have been ruled out but for no other reason than we've found something else that just flows better with our surname.

I don't plan on telling anyone the name until he's been born because someone somewhere will have something to say about it... they know someone called that, oh they were a bad kid at school etc. But when baby is here no one will dare say anything ..

He's your son.. call him what you wish and then they can lump it!

SendHelp30 Sat 09-Jan-21 17:00:18

Don’t discuss it with them. At all! I refused to discuss any potential names with certain people who I knew would be very judgey and try to dissuade me.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. The name is for you and your husband / partner to decide.

Violetbeau Sat 09-Jan-21 17:00:39

We are not telling anyone our names before the baby's born - for precisely that reason! Even if my Mum managed to restrain herself from making a comment if she doesn't like it I would be able to tell from the look on her face! I figure once the baby's born and named she will be too excited/it will be more real so she'll have to behave herself better. FIL is also annoying about names - keeps suggesting names to us. I've taken to telling him that anything he suggests will be off the list and that seems to have done the trick grin

I would just get on with naming him yourself - keep names to yourself and tell them their input isn't needed/it will be your decision!

LP15132 Sat 09-Jan-21 17:05:00

That sounds awful! I'm sorry but I think Seth is a perfectly reasonable name! I quite like it!

I'm feeling cautious about getting opinions on my name ideas, because I'm quite a sensitive person and I know I would be upset if mine got shot down too.

Maybe keep them between you and the hubs, and when he's born they'll have no choice but to be nice about the name you have chosen, for your child. It's rubbish that you have to do that but I think it's going to save yourself the hurt.

Id throw some curve balls in there to wind them up, like your going to call them purple bear snowflake or something and go all Gwyneth Paltrow on their asses 😂

Oneandabean Sat 09-Jan-21 17:06:49

I quickly found it during first pregnancy to never tell anyone potential names. Everyone has an opinion. Choose what you like and then announce it once baby is here

LeaveMyDamnJam Sat 09-Jan-21 17:07:49

Stop discussing it with your family. It isn’t their choice it is your decision.


BuffaloCauliflower Sat 09-Jan-21 17:07:55

Don’t tell anyone. I had a baby 8 weeks ago and noone knew his name till he was born.

GypsyLee Sat 09-Jan-21 17:09:51

We didn't discuss names with anyone else, newt to do with them.
You either need to not be so sensitive and join in the laugh, or stop telling them. They aren't going to change, you know what they're like.

Standrewsschool Sat 09-Jan-21 17:12:48

Simple, don’t tell your family.

Alternatively, say you going to call it a top ten name such as George or Harry, and then name him something else. Your baby, your choice.

Love the names Seth and Rupert.

3rdtimelucky2019 Sat 09-Jan-21 17:17:17

Don't discuss names. It has nothing to do with anybody else.

Fangdrew Sat 09-Jan-21 17:20:20

Just don’t tell them. If you have your heart set on a name don’t let gobby family members ruin it for you before baby is even born.

If you’re uncertain about it of course ask their advice but be prepared for total honesty.

I honestly couldn’t have given a stuff if my family didn’t like my kid’s names, so long as I was happy I’d given them a lovely name to suit them throughout life (which I know I have done!)

DollyParton2 Sat 09-Jan-21 17:23:17

Sorry your family sound really irritating. Both names you’ve said are really lovely. Just tell them yo mind their own business if they ask again.

Disfordarkchocolate Sat 09-Jan-21 17:23:26

Just don't tell them. Seth is lovely by the way.

Evey43 Sat 09-Jan-21 17:26:08

Thanks all for your comments, I know that’s exactly what I should do, either not discuss it or tell them to stuff it. But what a shame, I’m just so excited !

@LP15132 I will have to give your suggestion a go though 🤣

When we settled on my daughters name, I told them and saw my sister stick her nose up and I basically had to tell her to shut up before she said anything because it was set.

OP’s posts: |
IggyAce Sat 09-Jan-21 17:27:23

Don’t discuss names with them. We had decided on DS name but told no one till he was born because we had gone for an unusual name and knew responses would be mixed.
My dad informed me that one of his colleagues said it sounded like an American pornstars name, I still laugh about the comment 9 years later.

wibdib Sat 09-Jan-21 17:37:10

Another vote for ignore them and have some fun making up some crazy names (different one each week, getting increasingly more crazy 😂).

If they cast aspersions on your choice, (crazy version or real version!) have a couple of comeback lines ready - including the relatively polite ‘you’ve had your go, it’s my (our!) go now’ and the less polite ‘look when you had your go you chose xx and yy (insert your name and any siblings name - this only works as much as you like your names!) - you don’t get do-overs and get to choose gc names too!’.

Agree with a pp that you should say that anything they say will automatically go off the list. If they say something you like, you still get to choose it but just say it was on your list before they suggested it.

Mummy2O Sat 09-Jan-21 18:25:46

Don't tell them the name you've picked until bay is born. It is too late then!

Mummy2O Sat 09-Jan-21 18:29:23

*Baby - stupid phone.

LP15132 Sat 09-Jan-21 23:03:17


I agree it is really sad, it's nice to be nice!

Haaaa let me know how you get on.... gotta love a wind up! 😝

Sceptre86 Sat 09-Jan-21 23:11:30

Honestly don't tell them. When dh named our dd I could see my mum's nose turn up. I told her she had four kids and had her chance naming us. We both liked the name and the fact that it is Arabic and Scottish reflects our family.

We are now expecting a third and I have chosen a biy's name and dh has a shortlist for girls. I am not going yo tell family before as it isn't up for debate.

ItsIgginningtolookalotlikeXmas Sat 09-Jan-21 23:14:33

If someone chatted with me about names, I would express my opinion on the name. If someone told me what their new dc was to be called, I would say nothing, not up for discussion (though I might mention if the initials spelt ASS or something like that)
Your mistake is in discussing it with them.

AnnaSW1 Sat 09-Jan-21 23:29:38

Stop casually discussing names. That's the first rule of baby naming! Just tell them the name of the baby when it's born.

PFin Sun 10-Jan-21 07:23:16

Families feel like they have a right to butt into your baby name choosing process and its so irritating!!!! Just you and you hubby decide on a name and tell no one. Get it stitched on a wee hat and when hes born send them a picture of him in the hat. Its official printed on something, hopefully they keep their opinions to themselves if they know you really like and are 100% serious about the name.

SnuggyBuggy Sun 10-Jan-21 07:28:40

Stop discussing it with them. Everyone has an opinion before the baby is born but when presented once the child is actually here most people will just accept it unless it's bloody awful.

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