Please tell me I'm not alone

(25 Posts)
Julybaby2021 Tue 22-Dec-20 20:28:23


Does anyone ever feel real guilty for saying they hate their pregnancy.. like when your feeling really sick and its constant. I have headaches, tiredness, no apetite, can't drink my usual favourite drinks and i never fancy any foods (except for mcdonalds lol ☹️). Im constantly tired and i am so so sick of hearing myself moan and complain about how sick i feel. Im almost 12 weeks.. I thought this would be nearly away by now. I dont vomit but i have constant nausea all day long and gag so much. This is my first pregnancy. We're so excited for the baby to come but I'm just so miserable all the time now 😥

Anyone else feeling same way? Xx

OP’s posts: |
4amWitchingHour Tue 22-Dec-20 20:34:54

I hated pregnancy. Felt like shit, more mentally than physically for me actually, although being at the whim of a automated biological process can't have helped.

There are some weirdos who love pregnancy, but I've not met any in real life.

Also - the second trimester glow is a myth (sorry). You just feel a bit less shit.

introv3rt Tue 22-Dec-20 20:39:22

Hope you feel better soon!
My sickness went away around 13 weeks, now 24 weeks and that first trimester was definitely the worst so far! Now i'm just tired and always hungry haha! Hope it gets easier for you

shelbyrae Tue 22-Dec-20 20:43:55

I know what you mean, I'm feeling the same way after wanting it so badly! Ttc me could slap myself lol

Second tri onwards was great for me last time though, tons of energy and felt better than normal...fx it happens for you (and for me again)

FTMF30 Tue 22-Dec-20 20:46:37

I'm hating it too. It's fucking dreadful. Was nothing like this with my first.

Worriedandabitscared Tue 22-Dec-20 20:48:06

Pregnancy for some people just isn't magical, I hate being pregnant, I hate not sleeping, I hate being sick, I don't like feeling baby move - I still love my son though I'd just prefer he gets out of me

agradecida Tue 22-Dec-20 20:56:13

Mine is an IVF pregnancy, so a lot of crap to get to this point. I've got close friends who've had: 1) multiple losses up to 20 weeks, 2) will never be able to have a much longed-for second child, 3) are going through the long, long adoption process at the moment as they can't have children.

And as much as I know that I am so incredibly lucky to be pregnant, you are definitely not alone.
God it's hell. I came out the other side at 16 weeks. It's just relentless, day after day of feeling sick, having no energy, just wanting to eat crap and lie down. And now the sickness as gone, I've got SPD and we're about to go into a lockdown where the only things I'll be able to do are go for a walk (can't walk without pain) and go shopping (can't push a trolley). Great!

I feel terrible every time I moan about how horrible it is, as if I'm tempting something to go wrong with this pregnancy. But it's really really tough. And now I can't see any of my family for Christmas, all I really really want to do is get drunk on Bailey's and Disaronno until new year.


LaMadrilena Tue 22-Dec-20 20:56:30

Me too! Hating every minute of it, even now the nausea has gone. Hating getting fatter, hating how weirdly sensitive boobs and stomach are, hating the fact that I can't take anything for terrible cervical spine headaches. I don't even really like the thought of a second being growing inside me - seems unnatural and a bit sci-fi (I know, there's nothing more natural and beautiful etc etc). Can't wait to get it over with.

LaMadrilena Tue 22-Dec-20 20:57:45

Oh, and I really need a drink. I was washing up the champagne glasses after our work drinks the other day, and they smelled amazing. I could have drained every single one of them, backwash and all.

mollieangel123 Tue 22-Dec-20 20:59:51

Your not alone I'm sick every morning with one day off a week 😂 and I can't eat nothing but fruit feel sick all day everyday and stay in bed all day too I'm nearly 11 weeks! X

PFin Tue 22-Dec-20 21:01:14

Dont feel guilty I felt the exact same as you. I seemed like I just one big constant headache for about 2 months lol! My sickness wasnt bad but the tiredness was awful too while trying to work and look after my other child. Just remember it ends. I found mine went away around 14 weeks. I still have the bad days but generally im feeling alot better now!

Nia18 Tue 22-Dec-20 21:03:11

You're definitely not alone.
I'm 19 weeks. I wouldnt say I hate the pregnancy but I really can't wait for it to be over.
My last pregnancy was incredibly traumatic and I'm just constantly worrying about things going wrong.
I've ever written secret letters for my family in case something happens to me.

Its completely OK and understandable to feel how youre feeling.

Sexnotgender Tue 22-Dec-20 21:11:22

I’m 24 weeks and currently horribly uncomfortable. Back is absolutely aching 😕

Thirdlifecrisis Tue 22-Dec-20 21:28:03

I hate pregnancy and don't feel even remotely guilty saying it fgrin. The second trimester was so much easier than the first though so that helps, it just takes so long!

FTMF30 Tue 22-Dec-20 21:36:58

@Nia18 💐 I hope you have a straight forward birth this time around and a speedy recovery.

Nia18 Tue 22-Dec-20 21:39:51

@FTMF30 thank you! Really appreciate it ❤

BeautyAndTheBump1 Tue 22-Dec-20 21:42:47

I had hyperemesis throughout my entire pregnancy up until the placenta was out. Literally any food or liquid that touched my stomach came straight back up.
I hated every second of it. I cried every single day. I felt so guilty when i thought about people who were struggling to get pregnant, but you can't help the way you feel.
I felt robbed afterwards because i felt like i didnt get the 'proper experience' because i was so deathly ill.

So just know it is normal. I dont have any advice to give though, sorry!!

Julybaby2021 Tue 22-Dec-20 21:49:02

Thankyou everyone for your comments and experiences. It def helps to know I'm not alone in this. I know there are people who have it so much worse with vomitting all the time and not keeping any food down at all etc.. but i just feel awful. Like a huge extra long hangover.

I hope all our pregnancies get better 🤞

OP’s posts: |
mummabubs Tue 22-Dec-20 21:50:57

My first pregnancy I threw up daily apart from a couple of weeks in the middle, had terrible back pain and reflux. I'm now 19 weeks with DC2 and although I'm so happy to be having another child as we didn't think this would happen at one point ... I'm still not loving it. Still being sick every morning, feeling nauseous as the evening creeps in, some back pain already from 8 weeks and my sleep is terrible. As soon as I have to get up in the night either for DS or our dog asking to go out, or to wee the nausea comes on with a vengeance and it takes me hours to fall back to sleep whilst trying not to be sick in the bed.

You can absolutely be glad to be pregnant and also feel really unhappy if you don't have an easy ride of it. (If anyone knows how to achieve "the glow" do let me know as I've never found it!!) Hope the father is supporting you and taking care of you, it's not easy growing another human!

mummabubs Tue 22-Dec-20 21:54:50

And honestly @Julybaby2021 my saving grace is that I am sick (albeit once) as it makes the nausea go away, I actually think it's tougher when you have the constant nausea. It does usually get better in the second trimester as others have said- maybe not overnight but you might suddenly notice during a day that you haven't felt as sick as usual etc. I also think when you have scans and start to feel baby move it does help to make the crappy parts of pregnancy seem more bearable x

Julybaby2021 Tue 22-Dec-20 21:58:21

@mummabubs hope your sickness leaves you soon. Its such a miracle getting to grow a little baby but its just tough🙈 My husband couldnt be any more helpful.. he has been great. I feel bad for the amount he's doing whilst i lie here watching tv. But he wants to do it all and for me to rest when i can. We think this baby could be an only child lol xx

OP’s posts: |
Wishing14 Tue 22-Dec-20 22:08:07

Don’t feel guilty about saying you hate pregnancy! I do, and I would do absolutely anything for my child or for anyone else’s child for that matter. You can still detest being pregnant and many women have traumatic pregnancies such as severe sickness and other physical or mental impacts. It doesn’t mean you aren’t immensely grateful, but pregnancy is very hard on some people. I don’t feel like ‘me’ at all when I’m pregnant.

Julybaby2021 Tue 22-Dec-20 22:38:50

@Wishing14 us women have to go through alot. Amazing what our bodies can do. Yes that's what I keep saying all the time too 'i don't feel like myself' but then keep telling myself it won't last forever. We'll be back to ourselves in no time🤞

OP’s posts: |
SBR1 Wed 23-Dec-20 21:39:17

Definitely not alone. I resent the lack of control over my own body. The neausea/hunger was horrible until 13weeks..the thing that helped me was to move & walk loads. Sitting/Lying down made me feel like it was pooling inside me! To give you some hope... it's gradually got better for me over second trimester.

Nat4392 Thu 24-Dec-20 08:06:51

You’re not alone at all! I had terrible constant nausea (and some sickness) from around 6 weeks. It started to go around 16 weeks, so 10 weeks of hell! I was so fed up of constantly complaining about how awful I felt, I lost weight, it was just a generally miserable time. This is a very much wanted baby and the sickness did tarnish the excitement for me. I’m 18 weeks now and feeling so much better and that I can finally start to enjoy my pregnancy (until some other ailment starts I guess! 🙈)

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in