Hi guys, I apologise if this is in the wrong area, I tried to find the most suitable place but struggled as my post incorporates many topics. I'll attempt to keep it as short as possible.
I never wanted children growing up, possibly through being selfish, more so feeling I was inadequate to be a dad.
At 31 years of age that changed, I met a woman I fell so deeply for, I can't and never have been able to explain it. This girl had many issues, bulemia, cheating, bottom line she was useless without attention, however she told me repeatedly I was all she wanted.
Over 3 years I spent my life trying to help her, she came across very much as a normal, stable, wonderful girl, but behind closed doors she was a loose cannon.
I've always been desperate to be a dad, I love family life, doing things for kids etc, so we tried for a baby. We lost 13 total what with scans showing just spinal chord, anencephaly, heart defects, every pregnancy ended the same. One day after 3 years as a family (she had a boy from a previous partner who I treat and truly saw as my own) - his own biological dad openly stated he wanted nothin to do with him.
One day I left for work, at 11am I randomly saw my partner tagged in a Facebook post by her new partner stating she was his amazing girlfriend.... Imagine that.
Now, I love the idea of fatherhood, I know if give my life as a dad, ive lost 13 then been shafted, and this is where I'm struggling with things...
Now attempting dating, why is it almost every woman's profile states she has children, they come first, etc - absolutely agree. However, a hell of a lot of their profiles also state no interest in men with kids ....
I also noticed how there's a feminity area on this forum, I can't imagine there would ever be a masculinity area?
Through the entire 13 pregnancies, the nurses, consultants, Barely looked at or even acknowledged me....I spent my life supporting her, I'm lost.
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I hope this makes sense....
15 replies
Menarelost · 01/12/2020 23:37
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