Telling step children.. age 7&10

(4 Posts)
Suprised2020 Mon 30-Nov-20 12:22:05

Anyone got any experience about telling step children??
The kids my partners ex and new partner all get on extremely well although our 10 year old is a typical 10 year old and she overthinks everything meaning she is my concern and want to do it right.
We are 11 weeks and have our dating scan booked for a week on Friday so plan to tell the kids after that.
Anyone have any tips or experience?? Positive and negative please smile
Thanks x

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Mon 30-Nov-20 12:24:22

We sat them down, said we had something to tell them, said I was pregnant and when it was due. They were very happy.

Suprised2020 Mon 30-Nov-20 13:07:05

@AnneLovesGilbert can I ask if you spoke to the other parent first or kids first??? I feel like I should tell her woman to woman as we really get on.. I think I'm overthinking it all

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Mon 30-Nov-20 13:58:46

I’ve never met her and she and DH have as little to do with each other as possible so he didn’t tell her.

Advice sometimes given on here is to tell the other parents while the DC are with you so they hear it around the same time but aren’t together then the other parent can process any feelings they have privately and don’t get put on the spot by the kids, be they happy or sad. Too many times on here I’ve heard of the other parent being told in advance as a courtesy and then blabbed to the kids.

As you get on well I’d discuss it with your partner and agree what feels most natural and comfortable to do. My feeling is that he should tell his ex if that’s what you decide to do, rather than you though it depends on how close you are. She may share your concerns about how the 10 year old will feel and react and want to discuss how to support her with your partner.

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