(105 Posts)
cloudydays7 Thu 26-Nov-20 17:43:30

Hi all...just wanting to ask peoples opinions about this. Did anyone just not want to breastfeed? I just cannot see this being something I would want to do. My older sisters never breastfed (so my thoughts may have come from them?)
I am aware that breastfeeding is best for your child however I do not want to feel pressured into doing so? Also, if you did not breastfeed, what then happens to your milk?

(Sorry I did post this in another thread but didn't get many responses and I am just curious to know)

OP’s posts: |
Sanch1 Thu 26-Nov-20 17:59:04

I didn't want to breastfeed, like you it was not something I'd experienced from other mothers in my circle. But my husband was keen for me to try, so I did thinking if it's too hard then no worries, but I found it easy. I think it was because I had no pressure on myself to do it. If you don't feed your boobs will go rock solid with milk when it comes in and be very uncomfortable for few days or maybe longer until it dries up. Maybe just try and see?

Wickerbaskets Thu 26-Nov-20 19:14:11

I think it can feel like quite an alien concept. Obviously it’s a very natural thing, but we see so little accurate representation of it around us that it’s not something lots of us tend to have a lot of information or awareness of.

If you want my view, it would be worth trying - lots of women love it, and you might be one of them. That would benefit your baby and save you the hassle and expense of formula. But if it really isn’t for you, you know that formula is a good alternative which will keep your baby fed and nourished as they grow.

If you don’t feed then your milk will stop - it takes a few days. You may be at increased risk of things like mastitis in that time, but your midwives can advise on how to manage the risks, and you may well find you don’t have an issue.

LaMadrilena Thu 26-Nov-20 19:39:17

I'm really not looking forward to breastfeeding. I know I should try, and I will. But something just makes me hate the thought of that physical sensation. It's something so natural, but atm it repulses me. I've never really liked my breasts being touched. Don't know if I'm going to be able to. sad

DontFadeAway Thu 26-Nov-20 19:53:25

@cloudydays7 hey lovely, I'm 15+1 and I'm planning on bottle feeding. The thought of breastfeeding worries me, and I'm at higher risk of post natal depression due to previous mental health issues. I feel that breastfeeding would make my mental health worse, and I like the idea of OH and other people being able to help with the feeding so it doesn't just depend on me the whole time.

I am worried about being judged but I'm pretty sure I've made my mind up and am hoping to do best not just for baby but for me and my mental health too xx

ReeseWitherfork Thu 26-Nov-20 19:59:07

My understanding is that breastfeeding makes a difference on a larger scale (a lot of the pros of breastfeeding are across an entire population) but the benefits on individuals are negligible. I’ll try and dig out a data source. I’ve been breastfeeding my son for 18 months so I’m definitely pro breastfeeding. But you shouldn’t feel pressured and you shouldn’t feel guilty if you don’t. Worth remembering you can change your mind to formula if you start on breast but not the other way round.

ReeseWitherfork Thu 26-Nov-20 20:01:32

dontfadeaway don’t make any assumptions that you’ll struggle or find it hard. I’m not trying to change your mind but I don’t like seeing someone assume they’ll struggle base on other people’s experiences (maybe?!)

I think people panic about it unnecessarily.


ReeseWitherfork Thu 26-Nov-20 20:03:50

Link with some info based on what I was saying ^

Written by a Harvard educated economist who has written data driven parenting books.

herecomesfrog Thu 26-Nov-20 20:06:35

I came at breastfeeding from the other perspective - my mum breastfed so I assumed I'd do it too. I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about it but the benefits made me want to try (not so much the health benefits, for me it was more about convenience, cost, and not having to sterilise bottles for a year!). Anyway, it came easily enough and I fed my daughter till she gave it up at 20 months. Loved the convenience and would really recommend giving it a go.

Funnily enough, I've just had my second and was feeling just as ambivalent about breastfeeding again, until he was born. I think there's something hormonal about it, when the baby's here and in front of you it seems so natural, and once there's no baby I go back to being fairly meh at the thought of it. Which is to say, maybe don't decide until you have to?

bringitomm Thu 26-Nov-20 20:06:39

I found the thought of BF very strange too when still pregnant, and even when it came to the first latch. But I wanted to BF at least for a few weeks for the health benefits in terms of baby's gut health etc. It actually ended up feeling strange only for the first few times and then it soon was just normal. I really surprised myself. Now DD is almost a year and I'm glad that we're still going strong and I've found it so much more faff free, always available when out and about etc, than using bottles.

Helbelle75 Thu 26-Nov-20 20:09:27

I've breastfed both of mine and had no issues, but just wanted to say that it is possible to mix feed. Both of mine had a bottle of formula in the evening, so (pre covid) I could do my hobbies.
It's handy that dd2 will take a bottle when needed at the moment, as I can't take her to dental appointments and such. It takes the pressure off me a bit.

flashbac Thu 26-Nov-20 20:25:47

Generally speaking you can't really say you'll hate it until the time comes. Don't base your decision on other people's experiences. Don't judge it till you've tried it and don't overthink it.

hellolittlebaby Thu 26-Nov-20 20:30:53

Hi, I have an 11 month old who I've exclusively breastfed (until she started eating solids of course).

I didn't really have a preference to breastfeed before I gave birth but like you, I knew about the benefits. I went on an antenatal course and they had a whole session on the benefits, which made me want to try at least.

Deep down, I assumed I'd give it a go, hate it and switch to bottles. This what my mum and sister in law did.

Quite honestly couldn't even look at pictures of women doing it, or babies suckling. Made me feel uncomfortable. I thought I'd be internally screaming "GET THIS BABY OFF ME" 😆

But I resolved to just give it a go. If I emend we rightly, at antenatal they told us not to take formula or bottles to the hospital, so I didn't buy any.

And then the baby arrived. I literally don't remember that first feed but i guess the midwife just put her on me. Or maybe she found her way there herself? I literally don't remember feeding her at all. Or thinking anything about it at all? It's a full blank in my mind! Maybe the hormones and instinct took over!

And despite loads of difficulties with latching and pain in the beginning, I got there. The pain stopped as my nipples healed from a bad latch (took 1-2 weeks before I got confident I was doing it right and pain free) and here we are now, still going strong 11 months in! 😊

FolkSongSweet Thu 26-Nov-20 20:31:18


Generally speaking you can't really say you'll hate it until the time comes. Don't base your decision on other people's experiences. Don't judge it till you've tried it and don't overthink it.

Second all this. No need to stress out about it before the baby is here. Try if you want, you might like it/find it easy. If you don’t want to try, or do try and don’t like it, just formula feed, like the vast majority of people in this country.

I’ve breastfed 2 babies and before the first one I literally couldn’t imagine it, but once he was born and started rooting around for my nipple it really did feel natural.

Soandsoandso Thu 26-Nov-20 20:56:57

You don't have to exclusively breastfeed, you can combine feed with formula.

If you don't like your breasts touched you could pump the milk and feed it baby via bottle. This way other carers of baby can also feed them.

I wouldn't go off other peoples experience as each child/mother is different.

If you don't breastfeed your milk comes in anyways and will just dry out over a week or so of not feeding. Longer if you've done it for a while and choose to stop. Wishing you luck. smile

Dilemmmmma Thu 26-Nov-20 21:40:26

Yep. Never had any desire to, thought I wouldn't like it. all babies in my family were bottle fed so it seemed obvious that's what I'd do.

DH asked that I at least do the first few feeds of colostrum so I did.

Found breastfeeding really easy as did DS so I continued and ended up breastfeeding for 2 years! It was then a no brained to breastfeed DD. She's 2 next month and still feeding.

All I can say, is it's not always as you expect!

DontFadeAway Thu 26-Nov-20 22:07:00

@ReeseWitherfork no assumptions about finding it hard, it's just something I personally don't want to do ☺️ I'm comfortable with my decision and OH is more than happy to support my choices. Each to their own x

mynameiscalypso Thu 26-Nov-20 22:13:24

I knew I'd hate it and I did. I kept it up for 5 days and then switched to FF. My milk had just started coming in and it was quite uncomfortable for a few days but it soon went away (no idea what happened to it!). If it had just been painful, I think I would have coped but I actively disliked the whole thing and felt very uncomfortable with it.

wheresmymargharita Fri 27-Nov-20 07:18:16


*@ReeseWitherfork* no assumptions about finding it hard, it's just something I personally don't want to do ☺️ I'm comfortable with my decision and OH is more than happy to support my choices. Each to their own x

I'll probably get flamed for this but this kind of attitude I really can't understand. Colostrum is liquid gold and breastmilk contains bespoke antibodies and even stem cells, it makes a huge difference to baby's gut health and their risk of getting infections. It's also hugely comforting for them. Fair enough if BF is just too difficult and the mum has to give up or there are other reasons why FF is better all around for the family. Anyone could have any reason and I don't judge any other mum at all. But "just not wanting to"? Not even giving it a try to see if you can get used to it for the sake of your baby's health?? I'm sorry but I do find that very self-centered.

Hollywhiskey Fri 27-Nov-20 07:47:24

It's your body. Its great that we have clean safe formula alternatives readily available in this country. You just have to plan to bring bottles and milk to hospital with you as they don't give it out, and read in advance how to make it up.
When I was getting discharged from hospital with my first the lady in the next bed had chosen to bottle feed (it was a group discharge so we got the same advice) and they said her milk would still come in and it might be uncomfortable for a few days, just take paracetamol, don't express and wear a well fitting bra and after a few days of the milk not being removed your body learns not to make it. I'm sure your midwife will advise you on what to expect.
Congratulations on your impending arrival!

DontFadeAway Fri 27-Nov-20 08:25:42

@wheresmymargharita thanks for your input but I'm happy with my decision and don't feel I'm being "self centred" when you know nothing about my reasons for not wanting to. People are so quick to judge. I understand the benefits, but I also know my own health and mental health. Thanks.

happymummy12345 Fri 27-Nov-20 08:30:41

I always knew I never wanted to even try breastfeeding or expressing. So I didn't.

wheresmymargharita Fri 27-Nov-20 08:33:22

@DontFadeAway That's the thing, I wouldn't have judged you if you'd said "Unfortunately I feel my health and mental health don't allow me to BF, and it will be better for my family overall not to". The way you put it made it more sound like "Nah, just don't fancy it". I think that's a big difference, and the latter would be quite dismissive of what BF means for the babies involved.

DontFadeAway Fri 27-Nov-20 08:36:36

@wheresmymargharita if you had read my initial comment I had mentioned my reasons for not wanting to BF, I clearly stated it was for mental health reasons

wheresmymargharita Fri 27-Nov-20 08:52:29

@DontFadeAway Ah I thought you were the Op and had name changed. The OP said "I just cannot see this being something I would want to do" and your more recent post sounded the same. I'm sorry you are struggling with mental health issues and are at higher risk of PND. I hope all will go well for you x

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