Depressed as fuck.

(4 Posts)
fmlfmlfmlfm Sat 24-Oct-20 17:17:28

Just here to write my feelings down. Not really looking for advice or to tell me to get over shit. I know I'm being selfish. There are women that can't conceive or suffer losses and I'm just being a spoilt child.

Today I found out my baby was a boy. I know I'll love my boy etc like I did with my 2 others but when I saw that blue confetti I couldn't help but felt the tears rise and I walked out the room and cried and asked someone to hoover them up quickly.

I then asked for the cake that was offered to be made and it was handed to me and was a vegan cake. When I had specifically asked for a non vegan cake for my birthday. (Different family member is vegan ) I cried some more.

This pregnancy is unplanned. My relationship is over, I have a huge age gap, I'm in the middle of uni, working full time and I can't financially afford another baby. My best friend has had a girl and I had all this girl stuff ready for me and now I don't have anything so it's going to cost a fortune.

I've been referred to ante natal depression team and put on tablets so I've done everything I need to do. I just can't shake the guilt of grieving for something that doesn't even exist and never has. Sorry for the whinge x

OP’s posts: |
thetangleteaser Sat 24-Oct-20 17:34:47

I think this is more than just about the sex of your baby OP, you clearly have so much on your plate. How old are your boys? Do you have any of their old baby bits you could use for this baby?if not people often sell big bundles of clothes on Facebook selling sights which may really help you out.

Do you have good support? Sorry you’re having such a shit time😔

fmlfmlfmlfm Sun 25-Oct-20 16:30:00

Thanks for reply. My youngest is 10 so no baby stuff for a long while. X yes I think you're right just feel over whelmed smile

OP’s posts: |
thetangleteaser Sun 25-Oct-20 16:59:05

It must be daunting having another baby and going back to that stage again! Just be a bit kinder to yourself, you’ve done it twice you can absolutely do it again!x

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