DH not being supportive AIBU?

(14 Posts)
laurabethE Wed 30-Sep-20 07:41:50

Ok so I’m 25 weeks pregnant and since week 12 have had pregnancy rhinitis (blocked nose 24/7) last night was absolute hell. Woke up at 1AM blowing nose just trying to get some relief so I could breathe a little better and fall back to sleep DH starts moaning that I’m being selfish by being noisy and keeping him awake. So to avoid drama I went to sleep on our sofa (small and very uncomfortable) finally fell asleep at 5am and alarm went of at 6 to go to our joint place of work. I told him I couldn’t go in I was too exhausted for a 10 hour day and just needed some sleep to cure the awful headache I know have from being exhausted. I got up and made him lunch and got my DS dressed for nursery for him. Makes no comment about am I ok etc but tells me he feels like I just want to start drama this morning. I didn’t respond and he’s just left work and shouted ‘bye’ nothing. I’ve been off work 1 other time in my whole pregnancy but he seems to be acting like I’m in the wrong?

OP’s posts: |
cat709 Wed 30-Sep-20 07:48:38

@laurabethE
You know you've done nothing wrong!!
He needs to suck it up and deal with it. Next time, he goes on the sofa. You're sacrificing your body for this, and all he's done is moan. Can't believe you made him lunch too..!
No one likes fighting, so maybe when you get in bed tonight, calmly say that you can't help it, and if he can't sleep you suggest he goes to the sofa!
Don't feel guilty. I must wake my partner up several times every night, and my mat pillow takes up 3/4 of the bed.xx

happytoday73 Wed 30-Sep-20 07:52:42

I know he is tired but really no need to be sulky. He needs to go to sofa, not you, if he can't sleep because of you.

AllosaurusMum Wed 30-Sep-20 08:07:39

I think it’s rude to lay there blowing away at your nose knowing it’s loud. Just leave the room to do that then go back to bed. Or set up a spare bed in another room and one of you can sleep in there for the time being.

christinarossetti19 Wed 30-Sep-20 08:13:57

I had pregnancy rhinitis OP and do empathise with what a pain it is.

Is your dh usually unsupportive, or can you put this morning down to him feeling tired and grumpy and maybe resentful that you are having a day off work (quite rightly from what you've described)?

The only thing that made any difference to my rhinitis was nasal irrigation - completely safe in pregnancy.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Wed 30-Sep-20 08:16:07

Blowing your nose in bed is pretty rude. You ought to have gone to the bathroom.

But yes, if he was being disturbed, he should have gone to the sofa.

laurabethE Wed 30-Sep-20 08:35:52

Thanks everyone, I also wasn’t blowing my nose in bed I was in the bathroom but we are in a new build house with paper thin walls. Guess I am just feeling a little ticked off. @christinarossetti19 it is awful! I’m glad somebody can sympathise and realise it’s not like just having a cold for a week sad I feel on the matter of being unsupportive it could be a bit of both? We both work 8-5 plus 30 minutes travelling each way and I do all the chores and cooking while he complains he is tired and can’t help which has been irritating me this last week so I guess this is why I feel more frustrated then normal about last night?

OP’s posts: |

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SassyPants87 Wed 30-Sep-20 08:45:23

@laurabethE I hate to tell you this but it gets worse and I now snore a lot since partway through second trimester! It's no fun for either of us being in the same bed as I keep him up (unintentionally) and he tries to wake me up to get me to stop! So we end up pissing each other off. Luckily we have a spare bedroom and have slept pretty much separately since which works great for us. But if you don't have a spare room then I definitely think hubby needs to go on the sofa! Or get a blow up bed to go downstairs if the sofa is too uncomfortable

SassyPants87 Wed 30-Sep-20 08:46:55

@laurabethE also you should be doing everything and still he complains he's tired! He needs to step up! It doesn't work like that in this day and age now

SassyPants87 Wed 30-Sep-20 08:47:18

SassyPants87

*@laurabethE* also you should be doing everything and still he complains he's tired! He needs to step up! It doesn't work like that in this day and age now



I meant 'shouldn't' *

bunters Wed 30-Sep-20 09:05:21

'made him lunch' 🤣 next time he's an arse tell him to make his own damn lunch and get his own son ready. I don't understand why women feel like they have to do everything and (so many) men feel entitled to get help with everything. Put your feet up today and don't feel guilty about it

ShalomToYouJackie Wed 30-Sep-20 09:14:40

Blowing your nose in bed is pretty rude. You ought to have gone to the bathroom. what? 😂

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Wed 30-Sep-20 09:41:51

If someone is sleeping next to you then it's rude to blow your nose next to them and wake them up. Who does that!?

Disappointedkoala Wed 30-Sep-20 10:22:25

We both work 8-5 plus 30 minutes travelling each way and I do all the chores and cooking while he complains he is tired and can’t help

Why are you doing everything? Why are you making his lunch? He's a grown man (presumably) Tell him to do his share. I'd probably start blowing my nose in bed now just to piss him off further.

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