Why am I not excited?

(5 Posts)
Fruitloops34 Wed 23-Sep-20 19:06:06

Hi

Having a really really down day. 8 weeks today - nausea getting worse. I just feel sad constantly, don’t like leaving the house.
Partner and I had an argument today and they said I haven’t once shown any excitement about our first baby.

They are right, I haven’t and I don’t know why. I’m trying to explain it like it’s because of how crap I feel but there is a lot more. I’m scared, I’m scared I’ve made the wrong decision getting pregnant. What if I don’t bond, what if something goes wrong, what if I’m not mother material.

I know I should talk to my partner about all this stuff but that argument has just made me feel worse.

Is it normal that I’m not excited yet? sad

OP’s posts: |
stickygotstuck Wed 23-Sep-20 19:12:31

It's good to talk, OP. Talk to your partner or anybody else that will lend a listening ear.

I didn't feel excited either, and it was very much a planed, wanted pregnancy. I was too busy being shit scared at the beginning! grin I reckon that's normal.

I also had a tough time believing that the baby was real until the sexing scan, when I knew for sure who I was addressing or thinking about.

DC is now 11 and we are really close. It was rocky road (PND, bereavement, etc.) and it took time but it did happen. Talk about it when (if!) it gets too much. Just talk.

Trust yourself. Give things time. Don't put any pressure on yourself. Everybody is different. If you want this baby it'll all come together in the end flowers

booandbumpp Wed 23-Sep-20 19:14:51

flowers for you OP.
Pregnancy is, bluntly, shit scary. Your feelings are completely valid. Your feel crap and your body is a mess of hormones and feelings.
Are you sleeping ok? Can you have a bath and an early night or something? Or an indulgence like some chocolate or something?
At this stage don’t think about bonding. Obviously it’s nice if you do but I didn’t really bond with either of my pregnancies until 24+ weeks, and even then I have my off days as it’s so hard to conceptualise that’s there’s a baby in there. It will come, but be patient.
Hope your partner calms down. It’s a big thing for your body to go through and it’s perfectly natural to withdraw a little. Monitor it and if it gets worse speak to GP/midwife at an appointment and they can point you in the right direction for support.

Oneandabean Wed 23-Sep-20 19:18:46

I was so excited with my first, but this time I don’t seem to be able to. No one else is particularly excited this time, I’m incredibly stressed and trying to find somewhere to live. This was a planned pregnancy and I’m lucky that I’ve had no major symptoms but I just can’t get excited.
You’re not on your own OP. I’ve no doubt I will love my baby but it’s such a stressful time with everything going on at the moment don’t beat yourself up about it. It could change when you see the scan.
If it gets worse speak to your midwife it could be prenatal depression.

lc86 Wed 23-Sep-20 19:40:31

@Fruitloops34 aww don't be so hard on yourself.. being pregnant, whether planned or not, is so scary!! Especially in the beginning.. I'm sure as you progress and start feeling better in yourself you'll feel differently. Don't be scared to talk about how you're feeling to friends/family, you'd be surprised who says they've felt the same xx

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