Struggling with toddler

(18 Posts)
OnNaturesCourse Mon 14-Sep-20 17:22:45

I'm 18+3 and I'm really starting to struggle to cope with my nearly 3 year old who seems to be hitting a phase of getting doing what the hell she wants, sod what anyone thinks or says. By the time DP arrives home each night I'm ready to burst into tears and DC transforms into angel child... So I'm left feeling like it's me, and super guilty.

I've heard that age 3 can be more challenging than the "terrible" 2s but I'm wondering if she's reacting to my growing belly as well. Just completely rebelling against everything.

What can I do, anyone else in the same boat?

I can't get through another 20+ weeks like this.

OP’s posts: |
sarahc336 Mon 14-Sep-20 18:07:55

I'm pregnant with my second and my 3 year old turned into a bit of a devil child over the summer months too, I thinknits an age thing as they seem to start to think they can do whatever they want/like. Plus you'll be more tired so I find I'm less able to bite my tongue when she does something so I'm probably on her case more and I think that can make them worse sometimes. I'm so much more tired this pregnancy and i know it's because I have a toddler to run around after smile x

Mother2princess Mon 14-Sep-20 21:14:03

Unfortunately it’s normal behaviour

mumsofboys Mon 14-Sep-20 21:14:12

I've always said the threes are worse than the 2's.

She'll be pushing boundaries knowing what is coming. Be firm, don't take any rubbish. Show her you're the grown up now before baby arrives. It won't take long. Working In child psychology comes in handy sometimes.

Also work as a team with hubby. If she's misbehaved for you, communicate this to him in the day. He can then greet her but say he is sad whats she's done etc. Work as a team and defeat it together. Good luck! You got this!

ivfbeenbusy Tue 15-Sep-20 07:28:50

Age 3-4.5 definitely the worst and i have a girl too and also 17 weeks with twins. She's been in the obstinate stage for a long while now it feels - everything is a "no" or requires negotiation. Luckily she's also this way with DH so he more than knows what she's like. She's an angel at school/childminders though apparently - always getting a sticker for tidying up and it's impossible to get her to do that at home 🤣

EllieJai44 Tue 15-Sep-20 07:46:38

I have an 18 month old and am 22 weeks pregnant and I feel exactly them same, she's too clever for her own good and anything she isn't allowed to do she does, when out walking she throws herself on the floor crying just because we didn't go the way she wants to....I'm literally her permanent climbing frame too which is not pleasant!

I spend evenings crying over how guilty I feel because shes been hard work and if its had an effect of her and also just letting the day of stress come out!

I think pregnancy hormones have a lot to do with it too (or at least I like to blame them and not feel too much like a terrible mother)

mumsofboys Tue 15-Sep-20 10:20:02

@EllieJai44 I have a 18 m old and 22 weeks pregnant too. Forever trying to teach him to be gentle in prep for baby being around!

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EllieJai44 Tue 15-Sep-20 10:23:01

@mumsofboys yeah that too! We have a cat and the poor thing is constantly petted and dragged about, despite us trying to teach her to be gentle, the cat doesn't care, she goes back for more which doesn't help lol

OnNaturesCourse Tue 15-Sep-20 14:19:03

Thank you ladies.

I feel like I am constantly on her case, and I do wonder if its me and my hormones making it do it. Hard to put into words. I'm definitely over emotional just now. I worry its all effecting her too much.

OP’s posts: |
Thegirlhasnoname Tue 15-Sep-20 17:01:26

I’m 18+5 with a toddler that turns 2 next week and definitely get where you are coming from!

Loloandbb Tue 15-Sep-20 20:18:05

So glad I’m not the only one!
I have a 19 month old and I’m 22 weeks pregnant.
DD feels like such a handful at the moment but can’t work out if it’s actually her or I’m on a shorter fuse because I’m tired and aching all the time?!

mumsofboys Tue 15-Sep-20 21:38:19

And don't get me started on the 18m sleep regression that seems to have appeared. 🤪

nervousnelly8 Tue 15-Sep-20 21:44:15

I have an 18 month old who has just decided he won't sleep from 2am onwards (he was always bad, but we're back to newborn levels of sleep deprivation) and am 29 weeks with baby number 2. I can honestly say that the time on my own looking after DS at the moment, with no sleep and a terribly painful back, is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Working feels like a holiday. Your DD is a little older so I don't have huge amounts of advice, but can offer flowers and solidarity!

mumsofboys Tue 15-Sep-20 22:41:21

@nervousnelly8 I thought the new 5am instead of 7 was bad 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Defo notice the 12 hours sleep down to 10 hour behaviour change!

PolarBearStrength Wed 16-Sep-20 08:00:18

I’m 33 weeks with a just turned 3 year old. Lots of tears most days from both of us at the moment. I just feel like I have no patience and he’s a total nightmare. The thing is, his behaviour is totally normal, I just don’t cope very well. I’m so emotional and hormonal that I take everything personally, physically struggle to handle him, and feel super protective of my bump so get really frustrated about the flailing limbs and being climbed all over. God I sound like a horrible mum. Some days it really escalates and we feed off of each other and it just gets more and more fraught. But I’ve recognised now that this is mostly my issue, not his, and I’m making a massive effort to just let stuff go and not get wound up.

mumsofboys Wed 16-Sep-20 11:26:07

Remember ladies it's not a 'normal situation' at the moment, we are so restricted on what we can do and what's going on.

It is new to us and new to them let alone another bundle of joy.

Give yourself a break. We aren't bad mums, just human!

OnNaturesCourse Sat 19-Sep-20 11:30:51

Thank you all ladies.

I definitely seem to be having less of a all round bad situation and more of a "the good days are brilliant but the bad days are horrendous" situation going on now. Never know what I'm getting each morning.

I'm also super tired, no amount of sleep is helping because the quality of it is so poor and broken.

It's nice to know its not just me on a short fuse. I have definitely found myself treating DD a little more on the good days out of complete guilt for the bad days!

OP’s posts: |
Serendipper Sat 19-Sep-20 11:53:51

I’m with you all on this, I’m 38 weeks my son is 2yrs 9 months and I’m exhausted. Also in a local lockdown area so can’t leave the county even when DH is around. I just feel guilt at my son being stuck in watching tv all day and eating snacks!

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