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surrogacy during covid pandemic

(27 Posts)
Happygal7 Sun 13-Sep-20 09:29:31

hi everyone..
I am pregnant for an amazing couple.. very early days. I am their surrogate and I have a few worries.
Is anyone also a surrogate during this pandemic and can tell me if the intended parents was allowed to scans and appointments. I really don't want to be going to things alone and worried the couple are not going to enjoy is experience.

Thanks so much xx

OP’s posts: |
BoobsOnTheMoon Sun 13-Sep-20 09:30:41

Seeing as fathers are still not allowed into scans in many areas, I think the chances of being allowed two extra people are slim tbh.

Addler Sun 13-Sep-20 09:32:15

My DP can't come to any scans or appointments and has to leave one hour after I give birth, so I would doubt it.

BoobsOnTheMoon Sun 13-Sep-20 09:32:31

PS it is absolutely not your responsibility to make sure that couple"enjoy this experience". Don't take that on. The scans and appointments are medical care for you and for the baby. They're not a spectator event at the best of times and under the current circumstances that's even more important for them to remember smile

Happygal7 Sun 13-Sep-20 09:33:55

Where abouts in the world are you xx

OP’s posts: |
Happygal7 Sun 13-Sep-20 09:35:09

I totally understand its not up to me for them to enjoy the experience but I am a nice person and it came to mind thinking about it xx

OP’s posts: |
peachypetals Sun 13-Sep-20 09:35:36

Where are you? In the UK the majority of us have attended scans alone.

Happygal7 Sun 13-Sep-20 09:37:07

Liverpool in the UK x

OP’s posts: |
Squaretoe Sun 13-Sep-20 09:38:39

Surrogacy U.K. have a Facebook page which is really good for impartial advice, you don’t have to be a member to join the Facebook page smile

IheartJKR Sun 13-Sep-20 09:39:02

Happygal7

I totally understand its not up to me for them to enjoy the experience but I am a nice person and it came to mind thinking about it xx

Is that why you’re being a surrogate op...to prove what a nice person you are?

peachypetals Sun 13-Sep-20 09:39:09

Why do you keep putting xx grin
Probably best to go for private scans so they can go with you.

Happygal7 Sun 13-Sep-20 09:39:52

please only comment if you have information.. without being rude i do not want opinions on the situation only the question I have asked xxx
Thanks guys xxx

OP’s posts: |
peachypetals Sun 13-Sep-20 09:40:58

Errrr I am pregnant and have given you information.

Happygal7 Sun 13-Sep-20 09:41:26

not at all definitely not the reason I am being a surrogate is to prove how nice I am bit off a silly comment to make this was an innocent post looking for an information and if anyone is in the same boat as me ... didnt ask for negative comments ect..

OP’s posts: |
Happygal7 Sun 13-Sep-20 09:42:21

that comment wasn't intended for you sorry . I written it in general for other people to read if they click on this topic.

OP’s posts: |
Happygal7 Sun 13-Sep-20 09:44:27

thankyou 😊

OP’s posts: |
Minkies13 Sun 13-Sep-20 10:06:06

I think what you're doing is so lovely for that couple. I know there are a lot of people on mn who will disagree.

To answer your question, it really depends on the hospital. I know my hospital (UCLH in London) now allow for one other person into the 12 and 20 week scans. You'll have to check with your own hospital/their website.

Best of luck

User3627290 Sun 13-Sep-20 10:16:28

I’m allowed to have one person attend my scans with me now. It doesn’t have to be my husband. So you might be allowed to have one of them attend, but it will depend on your local trust. Your midwife may be able to tell you. Otherwise, it will probably be on the letter you get with your appointment details.

SquigglyOne Sun 13-Sep-20 10:30:38

Some problem can be so rude on here 😒
OP you’re doing an amazing thing and I think it’s lovely you’re thinking about the couples journey as well as your own 😊

1990shopefulftm Sun 13-Sep-20 10:44:07

some hospitals allow one person to some of the scans, but I think you'll need to speak with the couple and see if there's any private clinics near liverpool to see if they can help as it's unlikely both of the parents are going to be allowed there.

Happygal7 Sun 13-Sep-20 10:58:02

Thankyou everyone x

OP’s posts: |
MindyStClaire Sun 13-Sep-20 11:59:54

Check out your trust on FB, that's where mine was publishing updates. My baby is a couple of months old now, but they had just started allowing partners to the 12 and 20 week scans when she was born, and any fetal medicine appointments. So I'm sure it would've been possible for one of the parents to attend with you, but not both.

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sun 13-Sep-20 12:04:54

It’s very much dependent on your hospital. My DH is not allowed to attend any appointments with me still but I was able to book a private scan that he could attend a few weeks ago. I’m 39 weeks now.

He’ll be allowed to attend the birth but will be limited to visiting hours (11am-7pm) if I have to stay in afterwards.

biscuit13 Sun 13-Sep-20 13:11:31

@Happygal7 youre doing such an amazing lovely thing for another couple! I cant believe some people can sadly be so rude. Ignore them.
So im 32 weeks and my husband hasn't been allowed to any of my NHS scans, the last one was a growth scan on Friday.
I think your best bet to get them involved is to get them to book a couple of private scans smile good luck!

BeMorePacific Sun 13-Sep-20 22:39:07

I’d hope you have a good case for the mother and father of the baby to be there, and think it’s lovely that you want them to be involved in everything.
At the moment in My trust in Scotland Partners can be at the scan, and you can have 2 birth partners during labour and birth. I hope your hospital is as accommodating. Although the guidance is changing so often just now, who knows xx

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