Missed miscarriage - next steps

(15 Posts)
pingit Sat 12-Sep-20 13:53:06

I have had a missed miscarriage. Appt at EPU on Monday afternoon to decide which route to take. It's already been several weeks and it hasn't happened naturally so I would prefer intervention.

Can anyone share experiences of medical & surgical management please? I'm really scared of scarring and impact on future fertility from surgery but have heard many bad results from medical. Thank you

OP’s posts: |
plixy Sat 12-Sep-20 14:12:57

Hi, sorry to hear of your loss.
I had 3 missed miscarriage and opted for surgical each time.
I wanted it over quickly and didn't like the thought of sitting at home waiting for it to happen. I also worried about what I would actually see if I took tthe medical option.

I was terrified of surgery but it was fine. I hate needles so the worst thing for me was the cannula.
I had general anaesthetic each time. The procedure takes about 30 mins, plus some time in recovery. After procedure I was taken back to ward where my husband was waiting.
I was given something to eat and then had to show I could get up and go to the bathroom on my own. Once I had done that I was then allowed home.
Twice I was home by lunch. The other time I had quite a lot of blood loss and so had to stay a little longer but was still home by dinner.
You will feel a little off for about 48 hours because of the anaesthetic. I had period type cramps but didn't need anything more than a paracetamol. That lasted a day or two and then I felt fine. Bleeding lasted week to 10 days but was light after the first day. Lighter than my normal periods.
I have since had a little girl, so I wasn't affected by the surgery at all.
I know some people prefer to avoid the surgery but I would absolutely always choose that option.
Happy to answer any questions you might have x

Sansa87 Sat 12-Sep-20 14:53:19

I had surgery for a mmc on 27/07. The previous week I’d tried the tablets twice but nothing happened.

Due to covid they don’t want to do general anaesthetic, but I made it clear that mentally I couldn’t cope with hearing anything, & needed to be put to sleep.

I also couldn’t have my partner with me, but I’m not sure if that’s changed.

I am now 6 weeks pregnant again though.

I’m so glad I chose the surgery. They were all amazing with me, especially because I was on my own. It was just done, & I didn’t have any post surgery pain, and there was minimal bleeding.

Not sure if that’s helpful to you at all, I’m so sorry for your loss xxx

plixy Sat 12-Sep-20 15:04:51

I think having your partner there will depend on the hospital.
Although my mmc were a while ago now, a friend has had surgery since lockdown and her husband was allowed to be with her on the ward.

GemLou88 Sat 12-Sep-20 15:54:47

@pingit so sorry for your loss. I had. MMC October last year. I wanted to avoid surgery as much as possible and opted for the medical management. I didn't know anyone else who had been through the same so had no one to offer their experience to me. I'm not going to lie, it was painful, physically and mentally. They said it would be period like pain but I found it more painful than that. But I've since heard others stories that said it wasn't as painful. I ended up having another round of medical management 3 weeks later due to retained products and still getting positive tests. A second round still didn't work and I ended up having the surgery to remove the remaining products. Recovery was quick and waited 5 weeks for my first period since. But I conceived after the first cycle and will be 36 weeks tomorrow. I don't know what things are like now with Covid. My inbox is open if you want to ask any questions x

pingit Sat 12-Sep-20 17:48:47

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences. I'm so sorry you've had to go through it.

The baby stopped developing at 6 weeks, so very early. I don't know whether that means medical would work better than if it were later.

I have heard virtually no positive stories about medical. Almost everyone seems to have had terrible pain and it ongoing for weeks, and almost seem to end in surgery anyway, which makes me nervous in trying it in the first place, but perhaps that's because people have only shared the horror stories rather than the "good" outcomes.

I am likely to be able to have the medical management on Tuesday or Wednesday, whereas surgery they said would be at least a 10 day wait, which I really dread. Equal I can't face the thought of doing nothing and potentially waiting weeks for it to pass.

I feel like the mmc is in itself is really shitty, but that there is no good option at this point. All 3 options are horrible and have massive downsides. Normally there's a 'lesser evil" but I can't see it in this situation.

I hope that doesn't sound OTT - I know I'm fortunate to have found out quite early and that it could be so much worse, I'm just a bit sad and frustrated that after a long time ttc, this very much wanted baby has gone and we are back even before square one, with some hurdles to jump before we can get back to a starting point. I was kinda prepared (as much as I could be!) that the pregnancy may not be successful - I am aware of how common miscarriage is, but finding the missed nature of it, and associated decisions quite difficult. Thank you for the support x

OP’s posts: |
NorthernGirl1991 Sat 12-Sep-20 17:57:43

I had medical management for a MMC last week. I opted for medical management as I wanted the process to start (and be over) quickly and there was a bit of a wait for surgery (plus they were pushing for it under local which I don’t think I could have coped with).
I had period type pains which suddenly stopped as soon as the pregnancy passed. It was manageable without extra pain relief. If it happened again I’d opt for medical management, but obviously it’s a personal decision about what you feel you could cope with. I should have been 12 weeks pregnant but the baby died at 7 weeks.


MoreGinPlease2020 Sat 12-Sep-20 17:59:15

I had medical management for my mmc. Whilst it ultimately was only partly successful and I ended up having to have surgery, I didn't find it particularly painful (I was very surprised). I was however totally unprepared for the amount of blood loss and it scared me quite badly. I had surgery under local anaesthetic and found it excruciatingly painful - but most people I know said it wasn't that bad, so maybe I was just unlucky. Good luck with whatever you choose. X

Chanel05 Sat 12-Sep-20 18:03:36

So sorry to hear of your mmc. thanks

I had one at 8 weeks and found out at 9 weeks. I couldn't decide on medical or surgical management at first but opted for surgical as I'd read awful stories about medical. Surgical was the right choice for me. My DH was allowed on the ward with me (April 2019) and I had the surgery at 2 and was allowed home at 6.30 when I had been to the toilet. I had GA and the only thing I would say was that I was still suffering from awful nausea, even though it would have been my 12th week of pregnancy and I'd lost baby weeks before, so it was very hard not to eat and drink from the night before.

Afterwards, I was a little sore the next day but not too bad. I bled for around 20 days, first week heavier than my normal period but lots of spotting afterwards. I did lots of gardening after two weeks and this made me bleed more, so it's very important to take it easy. I got my period 41 days after surgery. My cycles were quite long for the next 6 months ish, but that's fairly normal after a mmc.

I fell pregnant again in December 2019 and today I am 39+4, waiting to go into labour any day now with my baby girl.

I'd read lots of stuff online about you're often more fertile after a mc or mmc. There is no scientific evidence for this, it is anecdotal. I took this as gospel and it impacted my mental health when it took me 8 months to conceive again, having taken 8 months the first time around. Please keep this in mind thanks.

SmiffyL89 Sat 12-Sep-20 18:05:21

I had medical management for a MMC back in December. I had this due to, like you having to wait for surgery. Had I not had to wait a while for surgery I would have definitely had that, however I was glad I had medical management in the end. The pain was like period pain, heavy bleeding for around 24 hours, but did bleed for another 4 weeks which turned into me having my first period. Regular periods returned straight away, and pregnant 3 months later and currently 17 weeks xx

HelloRose Sat 12-Sep-20 19:53:56

Sorry for your loss OP. I had a MMC in June. No heartbeat 8 week scan & baby didn't developed past 6 weeks.
I started bleeding next day so let nature take its course. Honestly.... it was OK. Mild discomfort like a strong period pain type cramping so manageable. 3 days of heavy bleeding and then gradually got lighter over a few more days. So not a nice experience and the emotional side is probably harder to deal with. But it definitely wasn't this horrific physical experience that others may have told you about. That is just my experience though. I'm now pregnant again (currently 9weeks and keeping fingers crossed for 12wk scan).

Mother2princess Sat 12-Sep-20 20:01:54

I’ve had a natural miscarriage and it was bearable pain my body took 2 weeks to register the miscarriage so the delay was the worse the pregnancy and sac passed pretty much without mega pain once that had left my body I felt miles better in myself it’s a emotional rollercoaster I’m sorry for your loss

Cauterize Sat 12-Sep-20 20:07:24

I've had two missed miscarriages. First one was medical, which failed twice and ended in surgery after massive blood loss. Second time straight in for surgery.

This would 100% be the route I would recommend.

Sorry for your loss flowers

SkyBlue20 Sat 12-Sep-20 22:59:00

I had a MMC diagnosed the first week of lockdown and as such, was made to try expectant, which didn’t work, then medical, which I hated (mostly because of the codeine - I did not react well and spent a long time woozy and vomiting) and that also didn’t work (the sac had actually grown by my next scan), so ended up with an MVA (surgical under local). I was terrified about it - I would have gone for general straight away if I could but that wasn’t an option - but it was surprisingly fine! The procedure itself took no more than 15mins, it was a bit uncomfortable when opening the cervix and I felt a sharp scratch when the injections went in but the rest of it was ok - I had gas and air that kept my mind busy (focusing on the breathing) and the nurse I was with was great and chatting to me and keeping me distracted. I was home a couple of hours later, on the couch with a much-needed glass of wine. I had a bit of cramping straight after but that calmed after about 20mins and I had bits of bleeding for a few days but hardly anything at all. I wouldn’t hesitate to have it again should (god forbid) I need it.
Good luck with whatever you choose, MMC is an awful thing to go through but the physical side will be over soon and you can start to heal - believe me when I say time helps. Sending lots of strength xx

Nimsay1 Sun 13-Sep-20 07:08:07

I'm so sorry about your loss. It's such a horrible thing to go through.

I've had 2 MMC and opted for surgical both times as I just wanted to move on. I actually chose to have each procedure under local anaesthetic as I hate general and know from previous experience that you often suffer with a little depression after general.

The procedure itself takes about 20 minutes. Yes it's horrible, but it's not painful, just a bit uncomfortable with pulling sensations. The doctor on both occasions was calm and respectful and the nurse was caring. After each I had to wait at the hospital for about an hour then I was free to go home.

I was given painkillers both times but never needed them. I bled lightly for about a week after each and that was it.

It's something I wish I'd never had to been through but if I have another MMC i would 100% opt for the same thing.

Good luck.

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