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Postnatal sex

(22 Posts)
BabyB19 Fri 11-Sep-20 13:24:00

How long did you wait? I know everyone is different and there's no pressure from my partner or anything but it's been 4 weeks since birth and I am mentally ready to get back in the saddle however after a second degree tear which was stitched twice due to needing surgery and forceps delivery I am petrified to even attempt it! Was it that bad? Better than you thought? Any tips? I'm thinking of going old school and just getting a few wines down me first 🤣

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2020goawaynow Fri 11-Sep-20 13:27:12

With my first I had an episiotomy and went for it after 3weeks was fine I had healed! With my 2nd I had quite a few bad tears so waited 5weeks and again it was fine. It's upto u wine maybe isn't the best idea as u might get carried away and best to go slow to start and make sure it's feeling ok.

BabyB19 Fri 11-Sep-20 13:34:34

@2020goawaynow yeah I suppose that's a good point. It's hard to know isn't it until you actually try! X

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unimaginativeusernamehere Fri 11-Sep-20 14:01:39

I bled pretty heavily for 6 weeks post partum. My episiotomy and tear didn't stop hurting until 12 weeks post partum so we did it then. I found it painful though. We tried again at about 20 weeks post partum and I felt better then.

jdy123 Fri 11-Sep-20 18:07:02

I waited 4 weeks and tried it and was still really sore inside so couldn't do it. Scared to try it again now ha! It's hard to know isn't it as I felt like I was all healed!

BabyB19 Fri 11-Sep-20 18:14:52

That's what I'm afraid of, I feel like I'm all heard too. I'm going to order some lube and chuck a load of that on when I do to try and help @jdy123 😭🤦🏽‍♀️ x

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jdy123 Fri 11-Sep-20 18:20:33

Yeah haha I will be trying that next time! May aswell give it a go and see how you get on. It's been 6 weeks for me now so I think I'll try again soon 🙈

plixy Fri 11-Sep-20 20:40:16

We first tried at 8 weeks, I had a c-section so wasn't comfortable to try before that. It was agony. Tried several more times and no amount of lube helped.
I ended up not being able to have comfortable sex until about 2 weeks after I stopped breastfeeding (at 10 months). I assume it was something to do with hormones as I've had no problems since.

ReeseWitherfork Fri 11-Sep-20 20:42:23

About 4 weeks and it was fine, a bit sore at first and had to take it slow but DH was very respectful and was happen to slowly work through it. We may not have been overly successful at first but the closeness was there and we both appreciated that!

BabyB19 Fri 11-Sep-20 20:47:36

I think that's what I'm after the most tbh @ReeseWitherfork my OH is happy to take it as slow as I need to and there's no pressure all but I do miss it.
How come it was so long after a section @plixy ?

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PlinkPlink Fri 11-Sep-20 20:48:17

Bit of DIY might help you assess how you feel about the situation?

I've found that if I can do it myself and enjoy it, I most likely, when it's done gently and slowly, will enjoy having sex postpartum.

mumsofboys Fri 11-Sep-20 21:05:58

@BabyB19 4 weeks after a section, could not go ontop though, it hurt too much. You get bad trapped gas after a section and lots of internal swelling so I assume that's why

plixy Fri 11-Sep-20 21:08:51

@BabyB19 it was a combination of 2 things.
Some women get extremely dry during breastfeeding. No natural lube at all and I had that to the extreme.
I also had a complicated c-section thanks to my girl getting stuck. I ended up with a very bruised abdomen, and later discovered I have abdominal adhesions. Even 15 months later by abdomen hurts to touch.
Luckily since I stopped breastfeeding I stopped being dry so sex isnt painful anymore.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury Fri 11-Sep-20 21:20:47

With lube, 5 months. It wasn't anywhere near as good as before, until after 18 months when I stopped breastfeeding though.

PaulinePetrovaPosey Fri 11-Sep-20 21:21:54

About three months. Physically I was ready far earlier, but we had a colicky newborn who wouldn't sleep before 11 or away from me 🤷‍♀️

Oneandabean Fri 11-Sep-20 21:24:23

It took 18 months after second degree tear before it stopped hurting, even after that it would sometimes hurt.

daisychain1620 Fri 11-Sep-20 21:29:35

I had an episiotomy with my first and think we did it about 4 or 5 weeks after. It was fine but I was worried it was going to hurt but it was ok. Just take it slow and hopefully it'll be all good!

TenThousandSpoons0 Sat 12-Sep-20 04:32:03

For those troubled by dryness while breastfeeding - you can consider asking your GP to prescribe oestrogen cream, it can work wonders smile

Delphinium20 Sat 12-Sep-20 04:40:33

I had a pretty bad tear and bled for 8 weeks post partum so didn't try until 3 months. And it was sore. Tried again at 4 months but we were very cautious as it felt scary. It wasn't until almost 10 months that it wasn't scary and a year when it felt just like it was pre-pregnancy. But I was near 40, so I think it just takes longer when you're older.

Falcone Sat 12-Sep-20 06:32:15

With my first i waited 3 weeks
Second I waited 12 weeks
Third I waited 6 months
Fourth I waited 5 weeks

Superscientist Sat 12-Sep-20 13:09:27

We are 5 weeks pp and haven't tried yet. Mentally I'm ready, physically I'm not in pain so willing to try but we are waiting until I'm back on contraception as having 2 close together is not part of our plan!

BabyB19 Sat 12-Sep-20 23:19:40

Hey @Superscientist I remember you from another thread! Congrats on your baby, we are pretty much the same I need to get back on contraception and I'm 4 weeks pp. I've been waiting for my period so I can start the pill again but I've had period pain for a week and no sign of it yet!

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