I don't know how to talk to my bump and..

(32 Posts)
RoRoIvy Thu 10-Sep-20 21:14:28

I am scared I won't know how to talk to my baby.

What do you talk about and what kind of things do you say?

xx

OP’s posts: |
TooCloseToTheProject Thu 10-Sep-20 21:16:56

I talked about what I/they were doing or going to be doing. Ifyou're struggling to talk you could try singing or humming to them. I found that a little bit easier with a new baby.

biscuit13 Thu 10-Sep-20 21:18:56

@RoRoIvy It feels silly writing it but i talk to my bump when baby is having a wriggle around and say things like "oh you're being very wriggly today" "you having a good stretch out?" "now youve got the hiccups" "cant wait to meet you" and I'll rub my tummy at the same time. I'll just sort of generally comment on what baby is doing hehe dont feel silly about doing it! Its a nice way to connect. X

KeepSmiling89 Thu 10-Sep-20 21:19:17

Anything really. Read stories, sing songs and nursery rhymes. Talk about what you're doing even if it's hanging up washing or preparing a meal or watching something on TV and talking about it (within reason obviously).
It doesn't matter what you say, your baby will love hearing your voice. Use various intonation patterns so your voice is nice and tuneful. Sing along to the radio.

Most importantly, have fun!

Rigamorph Thu 10-Sep-20 21:19:44

I had two miscarriages before DS and therefore didn't allow myself to even think I might be lucky enough to have a live baby.... until he was in my arms.
Didn't affect our bond in the slightest, he is the tiny little love of my life!
Don't worry about it. They hear you talking anyway from within the womb.

Austereorange Thu 10-Sep-20 21:21:02

I didn’t talk to my bump specifically at all!! And when they were tiny the dialogue was around what I/we were doing and felt natural and not forced. I never did baby talk much. Some big joyful smiles and laughs stuff but not ‘see the doggy woggy eating his dinner winner’ shite. Both DC are now very literate teens so nothing lost!! grin

toomuchfaster Thu 10-Sep-20 21:21:10

I never talked to my bump, neither did DH. We felt like twats when we tried! They hear your voice every time you talk not just when you talk to them so if you don't want to have a conversation with the bump, just chat to people around you.
As for talking to the baby, it will probably occur naturally. I never thought about it, it just happened.

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happytoday73 Thu 10-Sep-20 21:21:14

You don't have to.. At the end end of the day baby will hear your voice as you go about your day.

When baby arrives its different... I felt a bit daft at beginning but started by talking about what doing, seeing or thinking ...OK let's put your coat on because we are going out... Let's put you in the car seat, look there is a horse etc etc.. It then got easier when you get a response 😁

HarryHarry1 Thu 10-Sep-20 21:21:55

I never spoke to any of my bumps. They kicked whenever they heard me speaking to anybody anyway. I don’t think it’s made one bit of difference.

NiceGerbil Thu 10-Sep-20 21:22:05

I didn't talk to my bump. Just wasn't something out occurred to me to do. They hear your voice etc even if it's not directed at them!

When they're born and an actual person of course you'll talk to them!

Aria2015 Thu 10-Sep-20 21:22:11

Never talked to my bump, it's just never occurred to me. When my so was born though I talked lots, just narrating what I was doing eg 'right, let's get you in a fresh nappy...' etc... To be honest, we were on our own day after day while my dh was at work that talking to him wasn't that weird, felt weirder to just have silence! Wasn't long before he was babbling and making noises back and then it felt even easier to talk because there was some back and forth lol!

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme Thu 10-Sep-20 21:24:13

You don't have to talk to your bump. You have to talk generally, which you almost certainly do unless you live alone, work exclusively from home, shop on line and never speak to anyone. As lingvas youbtalknto people the foetus becomes familiar with the sound of your voice - it has no concept in utero of who you are talking to.

Once your baby is born you can look into his or her eyes and hold him or her in your arms, so you'll no longer feel as though you are talking to your own abdomen! It will come naturally once you can look into your baby's face and especially once he or she smiles in response to your eye contact, voice and smile.

PolarBearStrength Thu 10-Sep-20 21:24:54

I don’t talk to my bump. I didn’t talk to DS when he was a bump either but it was easy to talk to him as a baby. In fact that’s probably why at just turned 2 he’s talking in complete sentences and I can never get him to shut up 😂

IHateCoronavirus Thu 10-Sep-20 21:25:56

Talk about anything and everything. Embrace the sing-songy voice you hear others using, it serves a purpose. Every single word counts. Congratulations on your baby bear

Embracelife Thu 10-Sep-20 21:27:09

You don't need to talk to your bump. It wont see you or know. More important when it s born

You do need to look at your baby when it s born and onwards.
Make eye contact.
Say aNything you like.
Sing.
Smile.
Look up some youtube nursery rhymes see if you rdmembef from your own childhood.

www.surreycc.gov.uk/people-and-community/families/publications/under-fives-communication-leaflets-for-parents

raisingchildren.net.au/babies/connecting-communicating/communicating/baby-communication-talking

RoRoIvy Thu 10-Sep-20 21:27:35

I'm 33 weeks and just starting to feel like I have so much to look forward to, so I hadn't been connecting with the bump all that well. I now feel so guilty about it, and just want to enjoy the last stages of the pregnancy. It is my first and I'm late 30's so think this might be my only chance...and I really want to enjoy it. Just SO worried that we won't bond.

Thank you all for the insight and reassurance, pregnant during COVID has been a lonely affair!

I will try relearning some nursay rhymes or lullabies I think just to try and stay happy xxx

OP’s posts: |
crazychemist Thu 10-Sep-20 21:28:20

Never talked to my bump with DD1, and not talking to my bump this time either! I figure the babies hear plenty of my voice from me talking to other people. I know the idea is to bond, but it just makes me feel silly!

Once your baby comes, you don’t feel so silly talking to them. And frankly, it really doesn’t matter what you say to start with! All that matters is the sound of your voice and the eye contact. I used to mostly tell DD what I as doing/about to do e.g. “what do you think I’ll make for breakfast, DD? (Pause for gurgle) oh, yes, toast sounds like a really good idea. Jam or honey do you think? (Pause) yes, I think I’m more in the mood for jam today”. And other completely inane things.... as they get older, you’re more practiced, so by the time it actually matters what you’re saying, you’re over the awkwardness.

I used to read a lot to my DD too. It was easier than trying to think of something to say. Not anything particularly baby friendly, I’d just sit and read my book out loud while holding her.

Hatepickinganame Thu 10-Sep-20 21:28:20

I talk to mine all the time, if she kicks hard ill say things like "and hello to you too", if im tired its things like we need to go to bed baby, that kind of thing. Its always just come naturally to me, although i think other people find it weird haha

Embracelife Thu 10-Sep-20 21:29:47

Of course the bsby czn hear in the womb but you dont hsve to tslk directly at your bump. It wont see. Just general sing your favourite song etc . Get used to talking snd singing aloud when no other adult is around

Badabingbadabum Thu 10-Sep-20 21:34:17

I never talked to my dd1 bump. I did often talk outloud when I was doing things around the house. But she would have heard me and dh talking. I constantly talked to her when she was born and she clearly was attached to me.

It doesn't need to feel awkward, the baby just needs to hear your voice.

OrangeGinLemonFanta Thu 10-Sep-20 21:35:21

I never talked to either bump, except to give Bump1 a shove and say "get out" when she was overstaying her welcome, and tell Bump2 to get his head off my pelvic bones. I didn't bond with them either, I find the concept a bit odd. No issues bonding with them once they were actual babies in my arms. I also never enjoyed pregnancy one little bit even though my babies were loved and wanted, I was waaaaay happier when they were born. Now is a good time to practise letting go of all your expectations of yourself and all that unhelpful guilt, or you'll be tortured with it when your baby arrives.

Luxembourgmama Thu 10-Sep-20 21:37:01

I never talked to my bump when the baby is there its a bit easier you can show it toys etc. Its tough until they interact again.

Ullupullu Thu 10-Sep-20 21:39:03

I never knew this was expected and I've had more than one! Don't worry, OP. When your baby is born you just narrate what you're up to and take it from there.

mamabluestar Thu 10-Sep-20 21:41:27

Your baby will enjoy hearing your voice and it will help them feel safe. Just chatting about every day things will be enough, reading books and talking about the pictures on the page will help you while creating a lovely routine for you to share. Newborn babies can see black and white, you could buy some books or print off some images to show baby while you talk about what you are looking at. There is some evidence that suggests if parents read a particular book to bump that when baby is hear they are calmed when the book is read to them.

I'd recommend looking up a YouTube clip called Body shock, brave new world. The fashion is dated but the information about brain development is really interesting.

You might find these websites useful to
hungrylittleminds.campaign.gov.uk/
www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people
small-talk.org.uk/

RedCheese Thu 10-Sep-20 21:42:34

I don't remember talking much to my bump myself but I thought it was more important for my husband to do it as our baby heard my voice all day long. Our routine was that my husband would rub oil onto my tummy/bump every night to reduce stretch marks as he was talking to the bump or singing the same two songs every night. I used to listen to a lot of rock music when I was pregnant and after he was born, I created lovely playlists of nursery songs and lullabies which ended up making my son cry every time I played them. Rock music on the other hand would put him to sleep.

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