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I miscarried and don't know what to feel

(6 Posts)
Nazz00 Tue 08-Sep-20 20:14:35

I found out last Monday that I was 5 weeks' pregnant. It was the first cycle that we tried and we really didn't expect to become pregnant that quickly. So it seemed all a bit surreal, even though I registered with the maternity clinic at the hospital, started taking supplements etc. Fast forward to this Sunday, when I started having cramps and bleeding. I had an early pregnancy scan yesterday and it is almost certain now that I had a miscarriage - they are waiting for the blood works to confirm.

It was my first pregnancy and first miscarriage but I don't feel anything. I am telling myself that it is because it all happened so fast, that I never felt like I was pregnant to begin with. But I don't know if I am just fooling myself and trying to bury what I should be really feeling... Did anyone else feel like that after a miscarriage?

OP’s posts: |
Furbabymum15 Tue 08-Sep-20 20:30:18

Hi Op sorry to hear about your loss... I am currently going through the same but this is my 3rd consecutive miscarriage.
My 1st 2 were picked up at 12 wk scans but this one I started bleeding almost 2 wks ago when I was 5 wks .

Time is a great healer but remember you're not alone, but there is no right or wrong way to feel and I personally find it hard because it takes the body and mind a while to catch up with each other..... That's what I struggle with.

Thinking of you x

ivfbeenbusy Tue 08-Sep-20 20:30:53

I've had 5 miscarriages 2 ectopics - some have really shaken and devastated me (if I'd seen a heartbeat or the one I had at 12 weeks) - others like yours was much quicker - miscarrying by 6 weeks and after a good cry I'd pick myself up and carry on and start trying to conceive again straight away. Others I'd feel fine during the miscarriage itself and then weeks later I'd suddenly break down in tears. There is no right or wrong way to feel and no one can tell you that you "should" be feeling a certain way. Miscarriage is a very personal experience and no two peoples will be the same x

peajotter Tue 08-Sep-20 20:36:59

There is no right or wrong. You haven’t had much time to bond or get your head round it, so it’s not surprising that you don’t feel much grief.

Just be aware that it might hit you some time in the future, maybe if you get pregnant again. Everyone’s path is different so don’t overanalyse it. Mine were all different.

Sorry for your loss, because whatever your feelings it is ok to feel them.flowers

LlamaGiles Tue 08-Sep-20 20:37:19

It's okay not to feel sad about a miscarriage, some women are devastated by them and that's fine and others don't feel much at all especially when it's so early. Abortion is similar, some women really grieve and others are able to move on quickly and feel very little. There's no right or wrong, don't feel you have to be sad just because you think you should be. Many women would feel it's just a bunch of cells at this stage, not a baby.

wineandwhining Tue 08-Sep-20 20:47:28

Very sorry to hear this OP. Its a confusing time. This happened to me, the very first go and we got lucky and conceived. Miscarriage happened at 5 weeks. It really did feel too good to be true.

How are you and your partner coping?

I felt almost the same as you... it can take a while to sink in I think. Because it was my first I told myself the "it's common" narrative, and we kept trying. It all worked out in the end.

After going through fertility treatment, I can say that the a good thing is, you got pregnant. There are so many gates to go through to get pregnant... and ovulating and having sperm meeting the egg is a good thing. It means things are working so your odds are hopefully better.

You'll get there, sending you love xx

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