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Will feeling insecure about my pregnant body ruin my bond with my baby?

(5 Posts)
Tmos Sun 23-Aug-20 23:28:59

I have always been fit and active and had a good body, since being pregnant this changed. As i was so unwell at the start i didn't exercise, i have lost my muscle and feel like a sack of potatoes (I'm gradually exercising again now).
I am 22 weeks, and I get a lot of comments saying "Your belly is huge" and "you are so big now, the baby must come early!" Including from my husband. I am pretty sure he doesn't find me attractive AT ALL and although i have spoken to him about it and he says he does, his comments and actions don't make me feel it at all.
I am REALLY worried that i am gradually hating my body more and more and this may end up making me resent having baby before he is born. I am SO excited to be a Mum and don't want to start parenthood badly because i feel so crap about myself.
Any tips?
Any online therapy?
I need to start loving my body before i end up spiralling into deep depression.
Help please?

OP’s posts: |
LouiseTrees Sun 23-Aug-20 23:40:25

Being pregnant involves being a bit fat for a while. You sound exactly like a friend of mine. I’m sure, as long as your husband supports you, you will manage to get the weight off very quickly. It did not damage my friend’s bond with the baby once he was actually born and she’s even done baby and me yoga zoom classes etc.

BeMorePacific Mon 24-Aug-20 06:45:38

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, I’m sure you are looking great.
Unfortunately, because we are women people feel they can comment on our bodies, which is really inappropriate.
Go looking for some body positivity accounts on social media. Try and change your viewpoint. The UK society is predominantly fatphobic. Instead of feeling you need to change your body, you should be able to see it’s beauty, and power. It’s growing a baby.. it’s freaking amazing.
Take care and I hope you can embrace your changing body soon x

MumMrs85 Mon 24-Aug-20 16:57:35

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, I was and am the same and it is totally valid despite people saying to me, enjoy it, embrace the change.

I was the same in my first pregnancy and I can assure you that I did not enjoy pregnancy at all and the lack of control over my own body. I had no energy to exercise and the worst part was feeling so out of breath after the smallest of tasks. However, when my daughter was born it was all forgotten and there was not a second of resentment. With a little bit of hard work, I was back to me within 8 months I'd say.

I am now pregnant with number 2 and even though I've been through it I feel the same, I want to cry every time someone says, you're huge! Your bump is massive, etc. My only advice is to try and ignore them, get out for a walk each day and maybe some swimming which I found great for refreshing the body and mind! And trust your husband, although it sounds unbelievable, the majority of men I know are in awe of their pregnant partner! X

Louisg Sun 30-Aug-20 18:29:07

With my first I hated what it did to my body and cried constantly wishing it to be over. Out he popped and I loved him like nothing before. Still hated my body afterwards but it was never directed or even linked to him in my head?

Now with my second I hate the changed but know what's at the end so I just shrug it off

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