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Those that took longer than 12months TTC

(30 Posts)
Timetotry123 Fri 21-Aug-20 09:41:40


I’ve just got AF on my 12th cycle TTC no1 I feel so low, I do everything right. I get spotting before my period so I’m thinking this may be the issue I have been referred but Covid has delayed things I would have usually have been seen mid sept but she’s not sure when it will be now. For those that took longer than 12 months did you do anything different on the month you got your bfp? I’m not sure if to look into getting checked privately or just waiting another couple of months. 21day bloods were fine, OH is having a SA next week. I guess I’m just looking for a little hope. I’ll be 34 soon so time is ticking.

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Gerdticker Fri 21-Aug-20 10:04:50

Hi, I’m sorry you’re feeling so low, I’ve been there. It took us nearly 2 years for DC1.

Now on second pregnancy and my only thought to add was that perhaps both times we conceived, it was much earlier in cycle than expected. Around Day 8 of cycle in fact. If my scan dates are correct, this is when we conceived!

My periods tend to be five days long so it seems like it had barely finished, and then we conceived.

If there are any ‘big’ stresses in your life that niggle away at you, it’s also worth looking at that. Some women seem to conceive after a house move or Job change or something like that, perhaps when their body finally gives permission!

Also is your BMI in the healthy range, being under weight or over weight is known to reduce fertility.

Best of luck xx

Timetotry123 Fri 21-Aug-20 10:50:10

Thanks for replying, no stresses other than not being able to conceive. I usually start ovulation test around day 8 and get a peak 13/14. Did you use ov tests and they got it wrong or just not use them at all? My BMI is healthy thank goodness.

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LottieDot Fri 21-Aug-20 10:53:51

2 years to conceive number 1 (currently almost 9 weeks). Didn't do anything differently really and an early scan shows my dates match up perfectly so I'm really not sure why it took so long. Its cliche but we had a UK holiday and relaxed a lot but I know how unhelpful the 'just relax' comments can be! Only other thing differently was I switched to seven seas vitamins and was taking an iron supplement, it was the first month for both of those when we conceived, so I guess theres a small chance they played a part however I do believe it was coincidental.

Good luck, its really tough. Just to add as well, we're both mid 20's, dont smoke, have really healthy BMIs and all tests showed everything was fine/good so really no clue!

Fingers crossed for you.x

Gerdticker Fri 21-Aug-20 11:23:57


Yes I used the ovulation sticks for a few months but got nowhere. One month they stayed on the ‘you’re about to ovulate’ setting for about 10 days, then I never ovulated - apparently! It’s hard to know how accurate that was. I gave up in the end as they are expensive and were stressing me out!

Like you I used to start them on about day 8. Now I wonder if I was starting too late? Since with both pregnancies the dating scans seem to show I conceived on day 8!

So perhaps try starting the sticks on day 1 of period and see if you get any different result?

Or just stop using them for a bit, listen to your body, have sex as soon as the idea enters your head smile xx

Timetotry123 Fri 21-Aug-20 12:19:53

It’s seems to be the advice you get is just to relax but I can’t lol!! Congrats on your pregnancy.

I do get the flashing face for about 2 days then the static but never thought this could be wrong, I think I will start earlier. We usually wait until
Just before the fertile window but maybe needs to be way for then. I’ll give it a try nothing to lose.

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iswhois Fri 21-Aug-20 12:31:43

No advice but I'm in a similar position- next month will be a year trying with not even a hint of a positive test. It's hard to not let it get you down.

Timetotry123 Fri 21-Aug-20 12:36:03

Definitely, i’ve never got to the stage of having to test. My spotting always arrives A few days before af so I’m always know I’m out from around CD25. It’s very hard.

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CoalCraft Fri 21-Aug-20 12:48:32

Seconding others' suggestion to not only have sex in your fertile window. The cycle I conceived I was sure I'd missed as DH was poorly throughout the time I thought I was fertile, bit we DTD before and after and I caught. From dating baby it seems like i ovulated later than I thought.

GoogleyB Fri 21-Aug-20 13:03:20

I'm not in the same boat but I just wanted to reply about the spotting before periods. Don't assume that that means there is an issue, I have spotting before periods and we conceived the first month of trying so it might not be related, just coincidence. I hope you get your positive result soon! 🤞🏻

Paperyfish Fri 21-Aug-20 13:08:38

I wasn’t trying for quite as long ( about 10 months) but I always got spotting before period and tried taking b6 from ovulation to expected af date. That was the month I got our bfp. Could have been coincidence though.

Daffodil21 Fri 21-Aug-20 13:10:19

2 years here 🙋‍♀️ although two losses I that time it isn't 24 cycles.

It's a shitty situation to be in. Just on spotting before periods - have a look into 'blood building' foods, such as cruciferous vegetables. I watched an online seminar the other day, which allowed you send in questions beforehand. I asked about splitting before periods, because for my last 2 cycles I've been spotting from 9 DPO. They said it won't stop you getting pregnant, it could be a progesterone issue, but it could also be because your body is making quite enough blood if that makes sense

Timetotry123 Fri 21-Aug-20 13:38:22

Maybe I’m timing it wrong I just believed the ov tests.

It’s good to know others have conceived with spotting. I started taking B6 around 7-8 weeks ago and it has reduced my spotting by 2 or 3 days .

I’ll try every other day next cycle and hope that my timing is maybe out.

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Timetotry123 Fri 21-Aug-20 13:39:39

I’ll also look into cruciferous vegetables too, thanks for the suggestion.

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India999 Fri 21-Aug-20 13:47:01

Hi! It took me 2 years to conceive. I know this is cliché but we gave up trying (we were just starting the testing process through the GP) and got pregnant the first month. I know that has nothing to do with it, but just keep going as it could happen any month! Best of luck.

bathorshower Fri 21-Aug-20 13:55:01

Took us 16 months. I did try the ovulation tests for a couple of months, and they confirmed that I ovulated when I thought - I also got more cervical mucus (sorry if tmi) at that time. We didn't do anything different the month I conceived. Hope you get good news soon.

JustAddCoffee91 Fri 21-Aug-20 13:57:43

It took me nearly 8 years to conceive my first little boy the only thing that was different that month is my partner had started going the gym and taking vitamin C (recommended by fertility specialist) and stopped wearing tight fitting jeans/boxers and I stopped tracking ovulation and had a month off from "trying" it worked lol
My second little boy was conceived really fast I didn't think it would happen again to be honest so that was a bit of a shock lol

Pea1984 Fri 21-Aug-20 14:00:02

It took 20 months to fall pregnant again following a mmc. Had all the fertility tests done at the doctors and had just been referred to the hospital at the start of lockdown. Found out I was pregnant before I had my first appointment and now 23 weeks. In the run up I had started taking the supplement Myo-Inositol because I felt my hormones were all over the place, even though I had regular periods. Also we used Pre-seed and ignored the fertile window a bit. I also think stress played a huge part but it’s so hard as trying to conceive is stressful in itself. Good luck!

Dyra Fri 21-Aug-20 14:00:51

Same with others in that it took 2 years to get a BFP. The only thing that was different is that we had a fertility appointment date. Conception was probably the day after said appointment. blush

I think the knowing that I was going to get some help and answers was the trigger.

StottieAndSoup Fri 21-Aug-20 14:02:28

Aspirin, Maca root and coq10

RestorationInsanity Fri 21-Aug-20 14:07:41

From my long experience (four years trying to conceive with various significant issues along the way, but now pregnant by surprise having started taking HRT) plus a lot of experience with many now friends, and people in the infertility community, if you are going to conceive naturally, you will, regardless of eating habits, lifestyle, stress etc (excepting the usual caveats of being malnourished, so obese or underweight you have hormonal or menstrual problems etc). Don't add to the stress of TTC by assuming that if you eat a pineapple every week you'll suddenly get pregnant when you haven't so far. If you do, it's nothing to do with the pineapple! To clarify, anyone who's had trouble conceiving will have tried 101 mad things to help, including me, so I'm not in any way judging, just trying to spare you the stress and self criticism of trying to be "perfect enough to get pregnant".

Those with a genuine issue may also fall pregnant naturally and unexpectedly, but most will need help if it takes more than 18 months-2 years. A year is a long time, but still within the norm. I would suggest not waiting until fertile week to have sex though, if you see a fertility specialist, one of the first things they will ask is whether you're having regular, unprotected sex, by which they mean every 2 or 3 days when you're not on your period.

Good luck OP.

MinesALatte Fri 21-Aug-20 14:15:33

Hi OP,

Not completely qualified to reply as conceived at 11 months, sadly lost that at 5 weeks and went on to conceive 3 months later and currently 15 weeks 🤞🏻

Have you tried the sperm meets egg plan? We tried this the second time we conceived, who knows if it worked or it was just coincidence but worth a look.

I also used the fertility lubricant conceive plus, again not sure if that helped but worth a mention. I had used that throughout the whole time of trying though.

Hope you get your BFP soon, I know how disheartening AF is each month 😞 x

Timetotry123 Fri 21-Aug-20 14:34:49

Thanks everyone.

I thought asprin was. Ad when TTC? It’s the only thing that helps with my migraines and I have avoided them and took the pain for a year hmm

I have tried the 101 things you’ve mentioned Lol and I know it probably won’t help but you feel you just have to try something different each cycle that it doesn’t happen. I use pressed and it’s not that it’s always just at the fertile window but it’s near there and because it’s a week of trying your thankful for the rest lol maybe I just need to try every 2/3 days throughout the whole month and try not concentrate on ovulation. I have tried the sperm meets the egg a couple of times unfortunately still never worked for me. I was told without the delay if Covid my referral would have been mid sept (12 week wait) but now they don’t know when I will be I’ve to call in a month and they might be further forward. I might look at going privately I have no ideas of the cost involved so may just make an enquiry. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self TTC isn’t as easy as I thought and should of tried sooner. I wanted to see a few places and get my career first maybe that was all the wrong way around. I’m shocked at how many people do go over the year and it gives me some hope and oomf to keep trying. I just feel like crying all the time.

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Timetotry123 Fri 21-Aug-20 14:35:29

“I thought asprin was bad” that should read.

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RestorationInsanity Fri 21-Aug-20 15:16:46

Please don't feel guilty about your age. I started TTC at 27!

I totally get the desire to try things just to feel like you're doing something. But people will always swear the thing they did is the thing that worked. And maybe some of those things do work, sometimes, but chances are they don't. I mean really, if ordinary stress was a factor, noone would conceive from IVF which is a pretty mind blowing process, and women in war zones wouldn't conceive. Don't feel bad if you feel stressed. By all means try to de-stress for your own wellbeing, but it's not the reason you aren't pregnant yet.

Going private is worth considering if you can afford to go private the whole way, but the NHS will not use the results from private tests or consultations, so it won't speed up the process, even if you find out there's something wrong.

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