Birthing nerves!

[New2020]

Hi all...

I'm pretty terrified about giving birth and just hit my third trimester. I don't feel at all excited just really worried and anxious :'(

I know it's all about oxytocin and releasing feel good hormones and being relaxed but I just don't know how I'll get there given how I'm feeling now. I think I'd sit there crying :(

What are your tips for getting into the zone from your experience of labour?

[theseriousmoonlight]

Hypnobirthing. I only started at 33 weeks or so and felt a bit like a fraud when I did (I wasn't very good at breathing!) but honestly it was the best £20 I spent all pregnancy. It helped me sleep better but more importantly it helped with sweeps, my induction and the first few hours of contractions. It massively contributed to a very positive birth experience for me.

Remember: your body was designed to give birth and it's amazing how hormones and instinct kick in, even if you aren't sure you have any! Good luck!

[NameChange30]

"I know it's all about oxytocin and releasing feel good hormones and being relaxed"

Ideally yes, but you haven't failed if you're not relaxed and feeling good. There are many ways to give birth. Definitely try hypnobirthing as it really helps. But if you are not feeling perfectly "zen" and able to cope then you can have an epidural which should definitely help you to feel calmer!

It helps to have a supportive birth partner and midwife and to make informed choices.

Check out the Positive Birth Company, they have an online antenatal and people recommend them on here a lot.

[NameChange30]

online antenatal course

[HopelessSemantics]

Some people have a good experience with hypnobirthing and stuff, but if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean you failed or something. It might work for easy/slow births. It did not work for mine.

If I had to give anyone advice, based on my experience, I'd say just get the pain relief. We don't expect any other procedure to happen without it, so why is birth different?

At the same time, it is one day. That's what I focused on when I was nervous. In a few hours, it is over.

[Mintjulia]

To be honest, by my 40th week I was so big and uncomfortable, I’d stopped worrying about the birth, I just wanted it over and done.
NCT were very good at reassurance, how to deal with labour and making me feel calm and well prepared. I think I did about 10 sessions

[BeMorePacific]

Once I had my son, I wondered why everyone worried about the birth... it’s the baby that’s mind blowing 🙈
I’m doing hypnobirthing this time, and really enjoying it. (Positive birth company also)
Good luck, you’ll so great xx

[Shinygreenelephant]

If you dont want drugs then definitely try hypnobirthing - my first labour i was petrified and it made it all an ordeal but my 2nd after a 1-1 hypnobirthing course was an absolute dream. Cost about £150 but was worth every penny and more. Or if that's not for you just get an epidural - my friend had one and barely felt a thing, came through the birth with her blow dry still perfect!

[New2020]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I have spent the last 6 months terrified of birth and feeling scared and anxious every day and trying to ignore it all.

I've finally stopped doing all the practical things thinking about what the baby might need after birth and preparing for how I will look after the baby...to focus on this a bit more.

I'm going to sign up to the positive birth company course

And have started to read Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond.

Stumbled on the fear free childbirth and motherhood podcasts...she describes how she first felt finding out she was pregnant and during pregnancy and it was everything I feel :( I've felt like everyone pregnant is so excited except me.

I wish I'd started sooner now and hope it's not too late

[ImaSababa]

Good luck, OP! Sounds like you're getting a handle on things. One thing that helps my nerves thinking about birth is remembering how many trillions of women have done it since time began, and how our bodies are well equipped for the process.

[bluemoon2468]

Another huge advocate for the positive birth company digital pack - very affordable and I can honestly say I can't wait to give birth!

[bluemoon2468]

Another thought that really helps me is that most people aren't only children. If childbirth were really so awful then surely more women would stop after one? But in reality most women have at least 2 if not more babies, so as challenging as it might be it's not enough of a deterrent to make it not worth doing again!

[shazzz1xx]

I was the same but it was amazing I had epidural and didn’t feel a thing was brilliant. I don’t even feel like I had a baby lol xxx

[Sunshinedahlia]

You can also follow the positive birth company on Instagram and start looking at photos of positive births. Avoid the ones that look too scary for now.