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Recurrent miscarriage- stories of hope

(13 Posts)
Sallyjo27 Tue 21-Jul-20 21:22:45

Hi all, I’ve just had my 3rd miscarriage in 6 months. First was a MMC at 7 weeks 4days discovered at 9 weeks, second was a chemical pregnancy and 3rd was at 8 weeks 1 day discovered at 8 weeks 5 days. Ive had the tissue sent off this time for testing- anyway more to the point. Has anyone else had recurrent miscarriages and gone on to have a successful pregnancy? Also if you did, did you have any tests or do anything differently? X

OP’s posts: |
DaisyChainsForever Tue 21-Jul-20 21:31:24

I had a mmc at 10 weeks. Then had DS who is now 2. Another mmc at 10 weeks. A mc at 6 weeks. A mc at 8 weeks. At that point i was referred to a gynaecologist. Whilst waiting to see them, we decided to stop 'trying' as i couldn't face another mc. You've guessed what's coming next.. i found out i was pregnant again. Am currently 20 weeks and everything is going well. I hope you get some answers and good luck smile

greytminds Tue 21-Jul-20 21:36:23

So sorry that you’ve been through all this. I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks, and then two mmc at 10 and 11 weeks. The first two were after IVF as I had also struggled to conceive. I really had lost all hope. I had some testing at the Tommy’s recurrent miscarriage clinic and was found to have a borderline result for anticardiolipin antibodies which meant that I was prescribed blood thinners, and also given progesterone and aspirin. I then successfully had my daughter who is now two. I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant with a little surprise, and on the same medication as last time. Not sure how it will pan out but I never thought I would get to this point - it often felt totally hopeless.
Wishing you lots of luck - would definitely recommend pushing for testing.

Thumbellini Tue 21-Jul-20 23:42:35

You need to get referred to a recurrent miscarriage clinic to start with the battery of tests. It is a good thing to get genetic tests done on any fetal remains as that is what got us our answers after 3 years. It's a really awful place to be so be kind to yourself, I don't think people can fully understand it unless you've been there yourself thanks

Iggi999 Tue 21-Jul-20 23:47:46

Hi OP, I'm very sorry for your loss flowers
I had 4 mcs, then treatment for high levels of natural killer cells, then a successful pg resulting in dc2. There absolutely is hope. The conception pages on here, and I think the miscarriage ones under Body and Soul, will have more threads that can give you advice and things to ask about. Best of luck to you

INeedNewShoes Tue 21-Jul-20 23:53:32

Sorry OP. It's such an awful thing to go through.

I had one very early miscarriage (yolk sac seen at 5 weeks but never developed), then a MMC at 11 weeks and then a chemical pregnancy.

Following those three unsuccessful pregnancies I conceived DD. In the interim my GP ran some tests on clotting factors for me as I had reason to suspect this could be the issue. It turned out I have slightly sticky blood and all it took was blood thinners for a healthy pregnancy.

DD is now 3. If I try for another baby I'll be put on the heparin injections as soon as I get a BFP.

ChanklyBore Wed 22-Jul-20 00:01:29

I’m sorry OP. It’s not an easy place to be. I wish you luck in the future. In a way I think three in a row helps as you qualify for more help and investigations, forgive me if that has changed since I had my MC. Mine were at 19 weeks 5 days, 11 weeks, 18 weeks 3 days. In between those pregnancies I’ve had living children, but no reasons ever found for my lost ones, and they were not consecutive, there is nothing I did or did not do differently. Please be gentle with yourself and seek support.

Sallyjo27 Wed 22-Jul-20 09:15:39

Thank you all for your replies and I’m so sorry for your losses too 💐
@DaisyChainsForever we’ve decided to stop trying too. I’m absolutely terrified of having another miscarriage- my last one was honestly the most traumatic thing I’ve ever been through 😩
@greytminds that’s great news congratulations! I will be pushing for testing, just waiting for the karyotype tests to come back
@Thumbellini unfortunately at the moment in South Wales there isn’t a nhs recurrent miscarriage clinic- I was told one Is opening up in hospital in a few months though so when it does I’ll definitely be asking to be referred. My gp has referred me to the gynaecology team in the meantime.
@Iggi999 do you mind me asking-did you have to pay privately for that?
@INeedNewShoes I’ve heard lots about “sticky blood” and to be honest I’m hoping it’s something like that as I know it’s easily treated. I’m dreading them coming back and saying it is genetic or they can’t find nothing wrong at all 😩
@ChanklyBore it’s definitely the “not knowing” isn’t it? I’m very much a “fixer” and I’m the mindset of “well what do we do now, what tests etc” I’ve got a list ready for whenever I do get an appointment with gynaecology.

Does anyone know if my gp can do blood tests? I’m guessing I’ll have to wait a few weeks though as I’m still having slightly positive tests (my miscarriage was a week ago)

OP’s posts: |
greytminds Wed 22-Jul-20 09:31:08

I suspect the GP won’t do them but it is worth an ask. It might be different in Wales. The recurrent miscarriage clinic in Birmingham is completely suspended so they are not seeing anyone due to Covid. It’s probably worth doing some research on nearest centre and finding out what the status is. It could be a bit harder to get treatment due to the current situation. Some places accept referrals from anywhere in the country.
I think taking a break from trying is sensible. Give yourself some time to grieve and heal. Do things as a couple that you enjoy - we survived by making sure we could still be happy and find joy in life even at the worst times, so even the saddest memories have happy ones woven in.

INeedNewShoes Wed 22-Jul-20 09:36:32

I think that given the current situation potentially lengthening your wait time for the clinic I would ask your GP if there are any tests they can run.

Lots of women who have had recurrent miscarriages start taking low dose aspirin of their own accord. If you get a BFP before you manage to get tests done I would consider taking low-dose aspirin, one a day from the day you get a BFP. But please please read into this yourself to make your own decision.

lissyloulou1 Wed 22-Jul-20 09:53:05

OP, that's heartbreaking, I'm so sorry.

Hopefully my story helps...

4 miscarriages over 4 years for DH and I, all under 9 weeks gestation. Each one was a bit more physically gruelling than the last, and with the 9 week one ended up having a D&C afterwards.

Doctors never found out why, and recommended we try IVF. Depending on your age etc people's hormone drugs etc are different, but we had a pretty light round drug wise.

Pleased to say it went well first go, and we know how lucky we are to have had it all work the first time. Pregnancy was tough had Hyperemises Gravidarum and cracking heartburn, followed by a 2.5 day labour and a 7 day hospital stay with my DD in Neonatal.

But, we have a lovely baby girl now, and I am super glad we fought hard to get here.

I'm sure you aren't short of advice, but if it helps...

If you really want them keep trying but do make sure you have the right support network around you, its such a rollercoaster.

Find things to take your mind off getting pregnant as hard as that is, if you can get out and about for walks, enjoy the sunshine and other things, it helps. There is a lot to be said about stress and eliminating it, and its effects on mental health.

Make time for your relationship with your partner. Its easy to let that go when you're so focused on getting pregnant. Don't forget each other and that you're both more than baby makers.

Newborns are tough! I hope do you have children and when you do, remember its ok to struggle. A lot of pressure on women who have babies to "live the dream", but its so so hard and its ok to struggle and to be honest, feel like you made a big mistake occasionally.

All the best OP xx

Iggi999 Wed 22-Jul-20 10:49:19

Hi Op, yes I did, I had had tests in my local RMC clinic and nothing came back for action, I suspected killer cells might be an issue as I have a thyroid problem so wanted to see someone who specialises in that. Like many on mumsnet I saw Dr Shehata in London. I didn't have to repeat tests already done thankfully so just had some extra to pay and I think it came to £2000 - mind you this was 8 years ago. I was lucky to get pg within a few months of first seeing him or I suppose the costs would have risen. You also have to pay for the private prescription to be filled, unless your GP would take it on (mine wouldn't). If I'd lived in London I could have seen the same doctor on the NHS.
I don't know if it helped - we just decided to throw everything at it for one more year (I was 40+ by then) and were very lucky that it worked.

DaisyChainsForever Wed 22-Jul-20 11:57:02

I was offered counselling after my 2nd mmc (it was also my 2nd d&c) i never took it up, but i do sometimes wonder whether i should have. I honestly believe i had a mild form of PTSD. Probably sounds dramatic, but there is only so much trauma ur brain can deal with. Some people are able to move on straight away and just 'deal with it' others take longer and need help. There's no right or wrong in these situations. Look after yourself and ask for all the help you need.

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