missed miscarriage at age 46

[littleangle46]

Dear all,
I am 46, this was my first pregnancy happened at one try at first try, naturally. I was 7 w 1 days when I find out baby is not growing since 6 w 4 days, measured 6.7mm and there was no heartbeat. Today after 10 days I went again and there was no growth and no heartbeat. I have no pain no cramps no signs to miscarry. I was offered the abortion pill but I find out it is very rare that all the pregnancy tissues can pass and almost all the experiences I have read required a DC after, a surgical intervention after the pill. I got pregnant fast I was single since 2007 and never used birth control in my life, but I am healthy over all , and seems I am still fertile... so I want to try to conceive again and I dont want to lose my little cruble of old fertility in the DC processes. I decided to wait to miscarry naturally... I am not sure if this is the right decision currently I am 9 weeks with the dead embryo who does not want to leave as my body does not want to let him go... could you please tell me your experiences with natural miscarriage, how long you wait until it start, what if it never start... I am very confused devastated that I lost miracle, I will be thankful if you please share if you have any experience or advice, take care all

[littleangle46]

with DC I was trying to mention the D and C procedure.
and I want to give one advice based on my experince please do not allow transvaginal ultrasound ever before 8 weeks. I had one at 5 weeks where they find the heartbeat but I think ultrasound waves stunted my baby. also the doctors were very unsupportive from the begining telling me from the begging that I am super old, and very unlikely this baby will born ... they did that 5 week ultrasound to rule out ectopic pregnancy and I hate my self to let him do it.

[PregnantPorcupine]

I'm so sorry this had happened to you

I don't have experience of a natural miscarriage I'm afraid - I had a d&c (and then got pregnant again pretty much as soon as I started trying). Have you actually looked at the stats for how often medically managed miscarriages (I.e. taking the pill) are successful? I wasn't aware that they were likely not to work (I had a d&c as mine was a bit later on than yours). Tbh if I were you I'd take the medical management option.

Please don't beat yourself up about having an early trans vaginal scan.. There's nothing to suggest that they aren't safe xx

[Aria2015]

Sorry for your loss. Please don't worry about the transvaginal ultrasound, they are entirely safe and won't have been the cause of your miscarriage. They are used as standard in IVF and also for people like me who have had multiple miscarriages. They wouldn't do them if there was any risk to the baby.

I have had 3 miscarriages, the last one I did take the tablets and they worked fine. I think the success rate is much higher than you've been led to believe. The tablets worked very quickly and it was like having a very bad period. I would recommend it as a method.

I have also had a D&C for another miscarriage and that was because it was discovered at 11.5 weeks but the baby was measuring just over 6.5 weeks so in those 5 weeks nothing had happened naturally. So unfortunately if you wait for the natural option, it can take quite a while. The d&c involved a general a anaesthetic so was more invasive but they were able to take the baby and test it for chromosomal abnormalities afterwards (in my case there weren't any) so that can be useful if you're trying to find out the cause of the miscarriage.

Good luck with trying again in the future.

[RunnerGirl123]

I've had 2 miscarriages, both medically managed. Neither time did I need a d&c or further intervention, and both were a similar gestation to your little one. However I was already spotting/bleeding when the miscarriages were confirmed so I am not sure if that made a difference.
The way I saw it was I wanted it to be natural (not surgical) but I didn't want to wait for it to happen on its own and the medical management meant I had a little more control on when it would happen. If you have any questions, please let me know and I'll help where I can.
So sorry you're going through this. If you're emotionally ready to try again as soon as the bleeding finishes / you have a negative test, you're more fertile for the next 3-6 cycles i believe, so hopefully you'll catch again soon.

[stepbystepdoula]

Sorry for your loss, do what feels right for you and don't feel pressured, natural miscarriage can take several weeks, but will happen. You can also avoid further hospital visits this way 💚

[littleangle46]

Thank you very much for all your support . It is a very painful situation. I hope I will find mental peace