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Is it normal to feel scared of labour!

(12 Posts)
clo1992 Fri 26-Jun-20 17:48:11

I'm 35 weeks and I'm suddenly starting to think about labour.
It scares me thinking about what could or might happen.
I'm petrified of tearing badly as my perineal area always tends to cut easily.
I'm worried about not being able to get baby out and something happen to me or her or both.
I'm stupidly scared of loosing the baby in labour.
Is this a normal feeling to start having? I see the midwife next week and will explain this to her.

OP’s posts: |
ShirleyPhallus Fri 26-Jun-20 17:53:33

This is 100% normal I promise. One thing to try (which isn’t too late) is hypnobirthing, or at least deep breathing to help you try and relax.

Having been in your position a few months ago I know full well that you fixate on the birth part and hard to think of something else, but I can assure you that once the baby is here you entirely forget about birth and focus on the baby. Give or take, but birth is about 24 hours of ok-sometimes amazing-sometimes hard time and then you have something so magical that you’d gladly go through birth 18000 times again. (Can’t speak for all women of course).

Please try and relax. You will not notice a tear and the likelihood of anything happening to your baby is tiny, you’re in the best and safest place.

Good luck! And relax!

crazychemist Fri 26-Jun-20 17:54:04

Yes, I think it’s quite normal to feel nervous, I definitely did with DD1, and I’m going to be terrified this time round (going to have to have a c-section - I felt confident about vaginal birth because I’ve done that before, but I’m worried about c section recovery). Is this your first baby?

Splitsunrise Fri 26-Jun-20 17:55:48

100% definitely normal, I think it would be abnormal not to be worried. Not to say it will be awful - but it’s a common fear!

pipnchops Fri 26-Jun-20 18:01:30

Absolutely normal. I also recommend natal hypnotherapy, in particular a book cashews effective birth preparation. This calmed me right down and there are accompanying CDs you can listen to for relaxation. For me it helped to know exactly what to expect at different stages and to just trust my body and once I was going through it I was surprised how calm I was. I actually prepared so well for the birth, which only lasted a few hours, but had absolutely no idea what to do with the resulting baby as I forgot to read up anything about that!

clo1992 Fri 26-Jun-20 18:01:43

Phew. I'm a terribly anxious person. And had two miscarriages before this pregnancy. So it's been a journey. (First baby).
I was saying to my mum today that I hadn't even thought of labour up until now and I'm utterly terrified.
I really was hoping rules would be relaxed so my mum could be there but it's still only one birth partner. Obviously it's important for my partner to be there but I think it's something about having my mum there that would of reassured me a bit more.
I'm glad it's normal tho 🙈 x

OP’s posts: |
pipnchops Fri 26-Jun-20 18:02:44

I meant to write called, not cashews. Really want to eat some cashew nuts now though!

amusedtodeath1 Fri 26-Jun-20 18:05:59

Very normal OP, I was very scared of giving birth, the reality was, for me, my mind sort of left my body and my body just did what it needed to. A shot of pethadine (sp?) If worst comes to worst will, if nothing else make you feel calmer.

All the best OP, you'll be just fine flowers

Nackajory Fri 26-Jun-20 18:08:44

Quite normal. The thing No one talks about is that it's one of the few times in your life you can get away with ordering your partner about. IME they will literally do anything. Also I found the bits in between contractions really relaxing in the early stages. Gas and air is quite good fun and really helped take the edge off for me, as did my tens machine. And remember, millions of women do it multiple times, so that proves its all worth it. Good luck and enjoy the fun bits flowers

whatever1980 Fri 26-Jun-20 18:21:52

After my first labour I read a book about labour and got some hypnobirthing downloads for number 2.

Helped me massively with number 2 to know the stages.

I also listed questions for midwife about when i could get pain relief, what was available to me, when was last moment I could get offered an epidural if wanted one, if I took pethidene did that mean I couldn't get another drug etc.

I felt much more in control knowing all this with number 2.

Good luck!

FTEngineerM Fri 26-Jun-20 18:30:28

Congratulations flowers you’re on the home stretch now.

You’re not wrong to be worried or scared OP. My little boy is 10 days old today: I was in labour for 37 hours and we nearly lost him half way through. Every birth is different so no point in going into detail as yours will be different. Just know that you will be looked after, what ever happens.

I’d always been pretty calm since it was my first, not knowing what to expect.. other than OBEM! But when I was there living the absolute nightmare that it turned out to be I felt so looked after. Every midwife/Doctor/Consultant/Anaesthetist on duty over those 3 shift changes were absolutely outstanding.

Keeping me and my partner fed (well not me because I was on the brink of general anaesthetic for 24 of the 37 hours) watered and reassured. There were eyes on mine and his stats constantly and when action needed to be taken it was taken within seconds.

So be worried of course, it’s a new experience BUT they will be someone watching every moment to make sure both you and baby come out of it ok.

keepingbees Fri 26-Jun-20 18:36:27

Totally normal, and not just with first babies either. It's a huge life event with so many unknowns. Just try to remember that you will get through it, it's what your body was made to do, and if anything goes wrong you will be under the care of highly trained doctors and midwives.

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